The Ultimate Guide to Kink, BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge

By Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press)

Reviewed By: Troy Michael

Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor, filmmaker, and sex educator. She has been featured in more than 400 publications – You could find her writing in anywhere from Yale Journal of Law to Feminism to Penthouse.

Though her seventh book – “The Ultimate Guide to Kink, BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge” – may sound like a sex manual, it is far from it. Taormino didn’t go this alone, no not at all, she brought in several tastemakers of the kink world to give their thoughts on the subject, tell stories and give a little advice along the way. Some of these guest writers include Laura Antoniou,  Patrick Califia, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Midori,  Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, and one of my personal favorites - Madison Young, just to name a few

At just under 500 pages, the trade paperback book gives you everything you need and more. Whether you are a novice or are a longtime fan of kinky sex – It’s all covered here. Along with the tutorials are beautifully written essay’s discussing eroticism and the power of pleasure. The large print is a nice touch but I with the accompanying images was erotic photographs opposed to drawings.

Tristan Taormino, along with her peers have given you more than just the nuts and bolts of kinky sex, they have given you the whole damn tool box with “The Ultimate Guide to Kink.” No matter if you are a beginning looking to spice up your sex life with a little experimentation or you have been playing in the world of kink for years, this book is a must read. In fact, the book should remain on your nightstand in your bedroom. “The Ultimate Guide to Kink” will become your bible when it comes to sex. Amen Tristan, amen.

 

Fifty Shades of Grey

By E. L. James (Vintage)

Reviewed By: Lauren Smith

First of all let me say that the subject matter of the book that has become the horny suburban housewife sensation, “Fifty Shades of Grey” by E. L. James is not the issue…it’s the terrible writing. Seriously. I was really excited by the idea of reading something erotic and hot, on a subject–bondage, that has only recently piqued my interest. The idea of reading a novel devoted to nothing but a kinky young woman’s coming of age story seemed brilliant, and much welcome…something to break through our modern-Victorian sensibility regarding anything other than “vanilla” sex. Bravo. We need that…shake things up a bit. For the mere fact that this piece of crap has risen to the surface gives me hope that the United States might be ready for the Progressive Sexual movement that has crawled up the ass of Conservatism without their permission. They are hating it (who enjoys getting covered with “Santorum,” right?)…and loving it because it’s so damned *taboo* Nothing makes a Conservative happier than feeling like they are getting away with something sordid and illicit….as long as the neighbors and their fellow parishioners never find out. Certainly sexual enjoyment without shame is absolutely out of the question. Let’s spank some ass and get down to brass tacks here.

The main character, young college graduate Anastasia is poorly built. I could never get to what her true motivation was. She’s a driven, somewhat beautiful on-her-way young lady. Sure, she was a virgin when she met the insanely rich, entitled fuck, stalker-ish, unbelievably handsome Christian Grey. Thrown into circumstances by her best friend to interview him, she never would have met him otherwise–he’s an elusive billionaire. She intrigues him with her smart, funny and independent personality. So far out her league that he’s in another social zip code, completely unobtainable to her. Ever. You see, we all want to break into the upper-echelon of wealth and moral depravity. Apparently any woman of intelligence will drop her panties at the prospect of being the possession of a filthy-rich fuckhead. Unfortunately this isn’t news to me. That’s my biggest problem with this book, it doesn’t give anything but lip-service to embracing the idea of the truly sexually free woman. She does what she does because HE wants her to do it, not because she has a deep desire to explore the idea of bondage. She has no concept what the hell his kink even involves…she goes along with it because she falls under his handsome, rich and entitled spell, and will do whatever she feels is necessary to please him. The way I understand it if it doesn’t work for both parties, it’s not gonna fly…but…Christian is so beguiled by her, the fact that she doesn’t instantly cave in to his ideas, that he can’t stay away from her….so he doesn’t. He barely knows her and he is constantly spying on her (hey, wealth has it’s privileges, right?)–knows who she is with, where she goes, what she does. “Never leave me, Ana, I couldn’t bear it.” Ummmm…ok….Mr. Grey sounds like a fantastic future of homicidal possessiveness. Let’s just ignore that and keep going with this “romance”–nothing to see here, move along. He starts to try and control every aspect of her life. He buys her an awesome Mac computer (so she can Google “Bondage”), and Blackberry (so she is NEVER out of touch. Support your local stalker), and a new car…because she drives a piece of shit Volkswagen Beetle…someone ought to tell Ms. James that those things are collectable. That’s right, I’d rather have an old VW than a shiny new Audi. Fucking sue me. Personally I’m not into trading access to my vagina for monetary gain. Am I that much of an anomaly? I think not….I believe it’s what women in this vastly fucked-up society are told to aspire to. Cash in on your sexuality–the most important thing is to make a profit. Winning. That’s the biggest problem I have with Fifty Shades of Grey. It reinforces all that shit. Women need to read Fifty Shades like they need a hole in the head. This book is like “McDonalds”—get a quick, thoughtless bite to eat, written so that you don’t have to to exert too much energy working through important issues–oppression of women, patriarchy and sexual freedom and the bigger purpose of the empowerment of women.

The other problem I have with this book is how absolutely un-erotic it is. I’ll be honest, I was willing to forgive Fifty Shades in exchange for some orgasmic fodder. You know, get to “the dirty parts” kind of book…waiting to slog through the boring cover story, the excuse for the well-written naughty bits. I didn’t even get that satisfaction. The sex scenes made me *yawn* with boredom. So much potential there, lost. I LOVE books that exercise the erotic potential. You know that feeling, something so hot that it effects you. Hits you deeply and with purpose. For me, I love the written word more than any “dirty” photograph…give me a hot classic novel like “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” or a personal dirty musing from someone I fancy. Delicious.

I’ll make a confession…my appreciation for erotic novels is almost as old as I am. When I was about 5 years old I found a copy of “Fanny Hill” in my father’s bedside nightstand. Every time my parents would leave the house I was all over that shit. I’d sneak off to their room, shut the door, open the forbidden book and try to understand the contents. The original novel was written by John Cleland while he was in debtor’s prison in 1748. Must have done him good to have time to himself to write…it became one of the most prosecuted and banned books in history. Of course I was going to read it. I spent the next few years exploring it (yes, years…when my parents divorced when I was 7 I couldn’t bear to lose the book, so I hid it in my mother’s things so my dad wouldn’t take it. I wanted to keep reading it.) Fanny was written in extremely hard to understand Old English language, but the more I read it, the more I was able to discern. I won’t go into the sexuality of children because the subject is so incredibly taboo, but I will say that I started exploring very early by myself all of those feelings. Although I didn’t understand the motivation behind many of the scenarios in Fanny, I did understand the pleasure those feelings brought to the surface. I am convinced that my early self-explorations helped me develop a healthy, shame-free approach to sexuality, despite my father’s attempt to shame me at an early age (I got caught “touching myself” when I was 3 or 4….a lot. A Smack of the hand and “keep your hand out of the sugar bowl”–seriously, that’s what he said.). And surprise, even with my sexuality so close to the surface I was never molested or had any terrible experiences. The pleasure I found as a child belonged to me…it was a secret…it was all mine. And I enjoyed it.

So, in conclusion…good, well-written erotica is worth seeking out and exploring…so is your sexuality. Good sex is something you don’t just get, and nobody can give it to you, either. It comes from learning, exploring and experiencing–without shame or fear. It comes from your own curiosity and intellect, not your genitals. Fifty Shades of Grey misses that mark by a million miles….why eat a Big Mac when you can devour an Anthony Bourdain world of cuisine? You don’t need to…and you shouldn’t. There are two more installments of Fifty Shades. I won’t be wasting my time.

 

Joya Sphere Massager

By Troy Michael

“Shade and light; Up and down; ice and fire; man and woman. Two halves that give much more than one. Harmony in opposition, when the parts are greater than the whole.”

That is the description on the front of the box of the Joya Sphere Massager. If that doesn’t scream spiritual healing and finding your inner self, then I don’t know what does. Before you roll your eyes and cast this off as a hippie sex toy – think again.

The new Sphere Intimate massager features two separate yin-yang shaped massagers, which takes a pair of AAA batteries for each massager. Those are not included so stock up before you need to use these things.

The first red flag on the Sphere is each massager measures in at 4.85 inches height x 2.5 inches width x 1.4 inches circumference and they are made of hard plastic. However, they are waterproof so you can take the massagers into the bathtub or shower with yourself or a significant other for some fun.

The hypoallergenic multi-speed massagers do pack a pretty good punch, especially if you are tense in the neck and shoulders, but another red flag is they are awkwardly shaped and a bit difficult to get a handle on. 

A bonus to these massagers is each one is different in its functions. The white half offers five graduating speeds, while the black half offers five unique pulsation modes.

Joya’s Sphere does the job it is intended for with the main selling point being the cool yin-yang design and the fancy storage case it is presented in. Overall, this isn’t the first massager I’d go for (hello Hitachi Magic Wans), but it is still pretty cool to have.

 

 

Hustler Devious Devil Anal Beads

By Strawberry Blonde Bombshell

“Devious Devil” could have easily been my nickname in high school, but rather it is the moniker of Hustler’s clever little invention – the Hustler Devious Devil Anal Beads.

These little beads are made for beginners and are different from my collection. For one, they are smaller, but mostly the beads are oval shaped, which made for easy insertion, not to mention pulling them out felt wonderful. If you are an ass novice, these devilish beads are what you are looking for.

In addition, the stretchy rubber was a nice touch, however if you use too much lube, good luck getting a grip on those little bastards. But still, as I always say, lube if your friend.

If you are curious about anal beads or anal sex in general, give Hustler Devious Devil Anal Beads a try. You can put them in you and walk around the house, sitting at the computer, or with your lover as you prepare for some an anal good times.

Good luck, have fun, and be safe.

 

Hustler Devilish Darling

By Sheila

Call me crazy, and don't get me wrong, I love a big cock, but this 8" vibe was too big for me. Yes, I said it. While the high-grade silicon makes for a smooth insertion and comfortable glide, I could have enjoyed it more if it had been 2 inches smaller. I'm also a fan of internal vibrators being curved to fit right up against my g-spot, or to be tapered in shape. However, being that I'm one for giving anything a second chance, I decided to use lube to see if it was a more pleasurable experience. Since I'm a girl who likes a strong, hard vibration, I was irritated that the settings on the "darling" were hard to get right. The box claims that it has 5 settings and functions, however I was only able to work out two of them. The biggest bummer is that one of the two speeds is is an "on/off" rhythm... making it slightly frustrating when you want a steady vibe to make you cum. Both times I had to pull out the Hustler Racy Rebel to finish the job.

 

 

 

Hustler’s Mini Mistress Massager

By Sterling

For years, the Hitachi Magic Wand has dominated the vibrator disguised as massager market. Hustler decided to follow their lead and has introduced the Mini Mistress Massager, a smaller, more colorful version of a Hitachi Magic Wand. First, I must tell you that I have never tried the Hitachi Magic Wand so I cannot compare the two. Second, I am not one who feels like she needs to have sex toys that masquerade as something else. 

The Hustler Mini Mistress Massager has one big, giant drawback for me. It has to be plugged in. And my bed just isn’t all that close to an outlet so I have to find an extension cord or I have to masturbate at an angle, with my legs dangling off the bed so the cord will reach. Why, with all the wonderful vibrators out there that take batteries, would you want something that plugs in? Okay, so I suppose you then don’t have to worry about it dying in the middle of a session, but the mess of dealing with a cord and with it being plugged in was not worth the hassle. I’d rather just have extra batteries lying around.

You can also plug this into your computer via USB. This is kind of cool if you like to sit around watching porn and masturbating but for me, the cord still gets in the way. Maybe I move around more than the testers from Hustler, but even when I’m watching porn there comes a time when I’m ramped up and the laptop falls off my lap. Then the cord goes with it and I’m stuck with a Magic Wand but no magic.

It worked okay as a vibrator. Nothing amazing. The head is flexible which can be frustrating when you’re trying to get some hardcore clit pressure and the flexible head keeps flexing. The way it’s set up it’s really not an internal toy and for me, toys are just not as fun if they can’t go inside. 

I will say that I used this on my shoulders one night and it felt pretty good, but I have a feeling a Hitachi Magic Wand actually gives a decent massage. Hustlers Mini Massager fell short on both vibrator and massage and because of the purple color and the word Hustler printed on it, this is not a sex toy in disguise, this is just a lame sex toy. Skip the Mini Mistress Massager and just buy yourself a good vibrator. Hustler makes plenty of those.

 

Hustler The Rebel

By Sheila

The Rebel is a great, inexpensive pocket vibe that packs a mean punch. I like using two vibes at once, and this one is great for working the outside while using a larger, internal vibe at the same time. It has four textured caps, so you can get off on a smooth or rougher touch, depending on your sensitivity level. It only requires one AA battery, it's light, easy to hold, and as I said before, really revs with a steady, high speed. Highly recommended as a gift (generally around $10!).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girlfirends Films’ Lesbian Sex Position

By Troy Michael

 

Established in 2002, Girlfriends Films has grown to be the leading lesbian adult film company in the world of porn. With an impressive catalog of movies and an arm load of awards, Girlfriends Films has blazed the trail for other all-girl companies to follow.

 

Now, the company has set out to do a little something different. GGG has published their first-ever book “Lesbian Sex Positions.”

 

The company has compiled some of their hottest stills from their back catalog of films and put them together in a beautiful, not to mention colorful, 224-page book. In all there are 287 photos with each select chapter dealing with a certain sexual position for the girls. There is also minimal text in each chapter describing the sexual situations depicted in the photos.

 

Informative and fun, at 10" x 8.5" “Lesbian Sex Positions” is a good quick read with more photos to tickle, not only your fancy but hers.

 

Hustler’s Devilish Darling

By Sterling

 

Do you need a Valentine’s Day present for your sweetie?  That’s a rhetorical question.  The answer is yes.  Single? Then you are your own sweetie and you also deserve a present. I have the perfect Valentine’s Day present, Hustler’s Devilish Darling. It’s a gorgeous, white vibrator with hearts and devil horns adoring the outside. What could be more perfect for Valentine’s Day than hearts and devil horns? Right. Nothing could be more perfect. You need this vibrator.

 

The Devilish Darling does a good job doing what vibrators do…vibrate. With five different speeds you are sure to find one that hits your sweet spot. Plus it’s waterproof for bathtub, shower action!

 

You do need to ignore the picture on the back that makes it look like the vibrator is waggling back and forth.  I was unreasonably excited to see this feature and just as disappointed to find out that it just vibrates, it doesn’t waggle. How cool would it be if the damn thing waggled back and forth while it was all up in you? Yeah, that would be awesome. Also, the one I tested had some problem with the battery connection initially. If you want to see a frustrated face, you should have seen mine when I was all ready for some good vibrations and having to shake the vibrator every few minutes to get it going again.  It was not the good kind of frustration either. However, I took the batteries out and put them back in and haven’t had any problems since so hopefully that was just a fluke.

 

This vibrator is rated intermediate, though I’m not sure why a beginner couldn’t handle it. Maybe the five speeds are just too much for someone who’s never used a vibrator before. It’s not the most exciting vibrator I’ve ever tried out, but it’s so damn pretty I can totally forgive it. Sort of like some girlfriends, right? Maybe not the best girlfriend, but when they’re that pretty it’s easy to look past that. This vibrator needs to be a present, wrapped in a red bow and presented with some chocolate, some lube and a bubble bath.

 

Hustler Yin Wang Anal Beads

By Sheila

Something new to my world of sex toys are anal beads. My friend sent me the Hustler Yin Wang Anal Beads and I was a bit hesitant at first. However, after an evening of wine drinking with my guy pal, we decided it would be fun to see what they were all about. Having little experience with all things anal, lube was most definitely a requirement, as was clitoral stimulation with my Rebel. I have to say, if you like a little anal play, beads are a pleasant experience. These beads are flexible and smooth, and the graduating size make them easy to insert. I'm now happy to have welcomed a new addition to my toy drawer.

 

 

 

 

 

Hustler's Twice the Love Vibrating Jelly Cocking

Remember the Whacky Wall Walkers of the 1970s? Yeah, that’s what the Twice the Love Vibrating Jelly Cocking feels like, well until you use it and get it messy.

There lies one of its problems. When the jelly cock ring gets wet, be it sweat, lube or hopefully wetness from your lover, it is nearly impossible to keep on. The jelly material is very stretchy for all dig gerent sized cocks, but it doesn’t hold its shape or strength once the material is wet.

The cock ring also features dual vibrators, one at the top under the heart and one at the bottom near the French tickler nubs. This brings us to another issue. A lot of dudes are not cool with posting a heart-shaped cock ring on their cocks no matter how good it feels. Not to mention it comes in purple.

Nonetheless, Hustler's Twice the Love Vibrating Jelly Cocking does the trick for hitting the cult when fucking your girl. If you keep it on long enough it might make your balls numb though, which could be a positive in holding off your orgasm.

Overall this isn’t the best cock ring for guys, but it does seem to do the job for both sexes.

 

 

Pipedream’s Japanese Silk Rope

By Sterling

 

I don’t own very much silk, but I have a few things.  Silk tends to be soft and smooth.  Unless it’s raw silk, but there is still a delicate quality to even raw silk.  So I was interested to see what a Japanese Silk Rope looked like. 

 

Made by Pipedream, the box features a spray tanned lady with her hands bound to her legs, flashing us the crotch of her red panties.  The rope is red, 35 feet long and says it’s long and durable enough to engage in Shibari style rope bondage.  I didn’t know anything about Shibari, so I looked it up.  It sounds lovely and quite complicated, dealing with not just restraining someone but the aesthetics of it.  I would highly encourage you to do your own research into this if you’re interested. 

 

I can’t say the same about the ‘Japanese Silk Rope’ we tried.  It didn’t look so much like a rope as it did a really long shoelace;  a 35 foot shoelace to be exact.  I did like the length because it allowed for multiple wrappings and then a length that could be used to control the arms.  I also liked that the length allowed you to incorporate legs into the tying if you wished.

 

The rope doesn’t look like silk at all, but it says it’s silk so it must be a cotton-y looking silk.  The box says it’s ‘Perfect for Beginners’.  I’m not sure what the difference would be between a beginner’s rope and an intermediate rope.  Maybe the intermediate rope would look less like a shoelace.  This kit also came with a free mask, but we missed that part until it was too late.  It was just a standard black mask, so nothing special there, though it is nice of them to include so you can be powerless to move and blindfolded too. 

 

I would give this toy a C.  It’s a solid, average, middle of the road student.  I wouldn’t recommend it, but I wouldn’t recommend against it if you asked me “Hey, where I can buy a Japanese Silk Rope to tie up my girlfriend who’s never done bondage before?”   The rope is handy, too soft to leave marks (boo), long enough to do fun stuff with and innocuous enough to leave lying around.  I mean, who’s going to think the giant shoelace is really a bondage tool? 

 

The Secrets of Great G Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation by Tristan Taormino

By Sterling

I love things like lists.  Lists, self-help books and how to manuals rank pretty high for me on things that are wonderful.  So of course I jumped at the chance to review a book about secrets of G spot orgasms and female ejaculation. 

My first impression was not a great one, however.  On the first page is a picture of a couple, half naked.  The man’s hands are down her perfect porn star panties, the woman has a belly button piercing, a fake tan, fake nails, fake boobs and the kind of fake porn star lusty look that you only ever see in the really bad pornos. The one’s that give 14-year-olds the idea that all that happens with girls when they are about to orgasm is that they whimper like tiny little kittens and open their mouth delicately like a flower.  If that’s what your orgasm looks like you have either had too much botox or you haven’t actually had an orgasm, especially a g-spot orgasm.   A good g-spot orgasm makes you emit sounds you didn’t think you could make while your face contorts in the agony and ecstasy of it all.  It’s not pretty.

Tristan Taormino’s “The Secrets of Great G Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation” is filled with these pictures of fake couples, having fake sex and posing in god awful standard porn pictures.  I applaud that they have a presumably married lesbian couple, but the way the pictures are shot it feels like it’s just pandering to boys dreams of seeing two hot chicks get it on.  And though I did make my boy read this book, this book is written more for women.  So now, let’s get to the meat of it.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE how well laid out this book is - about how to find your g-spot, stimulate your g-spot and have an orgasm that way. It has helpful tips on positioning, timing and even what toys make good g-spot toys. Taormino clearly knows her shit when it comes to sex.  The book was well written and informative.  I also enjoyed the layout.  There were sidebars with tips and tricks for different things.

The book also included information on anal sex, which was very insightful. Anal sex can be such a scary place for people and Taormino had a lovely way of being very matter-of-fact about it.  She also included ways to make it work for both men and women.

My other favorite thing about this book is it includes one of my VERY favorite short stories EVER.  I won’t spoil it for you, but it’s the last story in the book and it’s about Peter Pan and it’s AMAZING.  I know, Peter Pan doesn’t make you think smut but wait until this story blows your mind and has your hands down your pants halfway through.  You will change your mind right quick.

I want to make it clear that I recommend “The Secrets of Great G Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation” by Tristan Taormino whole heartedly.  Just ignore the stupid porn pictures and READ it.  Study it.   I used it to find my g-spot in a different way and to try some more adventurous things than I had previously.  My partner was thrilled.  Plus, having a “how to” manual has made it so there’s an easy excuse for sex every day.  We have to practice the techniques, right?  Because practice makes perfect and we’re all looking for that perfect O.

 

A Gangbang of Hustler Toys

By Lisa Lavigne

In the mail I received, from a very generous benefactor, a box of toys.  Nice new toys that I had never experienced before. 

I thought, well, I could use each of these new toys each separately at different times.

Then I remembered I was me and decided to use them all NOW NOW NOW....now.

I started with my new DISCO STICK 5 SILVER from Hustler Toys.  Nice powerful little vibe.  Great for giving me a little charge...disco stick on clit action. Nice for a little G-spot action as well, but ...it's a hard plastic studded vibe.   Not overly forgiving. Ok, back out to my clit...yes, this is nice.

I moved up to DISCO STICK 7 PINK from Hustler.   Same power, same lovely vibe action for my clit. Nearly the same as Disco Stick 5 Silver...only...um, bigger...and pink.   And honestly, though it's not THAT big, the fact that it's a hard studded vibe made it not as nice for clamping my pussy down onto...little ouchy.  That's ok, though, it gets a pass for having a nice strong vibration - can get me from 0 to "holy fucking god I'm coming already" pretty quick.   Maybe I'll toss it in my purse.

Ok...after a few minutes of vibe on clit action and an active imagination:  I'm wound up and ready to try more.

I decide I want to try the PLUGGED IN LARGE, also from Hustler, a nice velvety feeling butt plug that feels not unlike their PERFECT BOYFRIEND 8 that I have sitting next to it, which I have already given my two thumbs up approval for. My goal here is to have a little going on 'everywhere'.

I lubed up and tried to insert Plugged In Large into my ass.   And tried again.  And tried again.

So let me just say, my ass is built a little tight.  I mean with enough perseverance (and lube), larger toys (and cocks) will eventually fit in there. But as delightful as this little plug felt, it was just too...soft?  Pliable?  Something.  I could not get it in there. And believe you me, I did try.  I'm sure if I had company, it could be jammed into my ass...but on my own?  No bueno.  *sigh*   Moving on.

Alright, next on the list was something that had really caught my eye.

I grabbed Hustler’s DEFLOWER KIT.  Yup, you read that right.   DeFlower Kit.   Ok yes, it's been a very long time since I was deflowered, but still...this just LOOKED cool.

It has the main control unit, and from it, two cords - one cord had a little egg-shaped vibe and at the end of the other was  a pliable "tickler", split down the middle, that I could only assume was to grip onto my clit. Intriguing.

I was already wet from starting out with my disco sticks, so I slipped the egg shaped vibe up into my pussy and lodged it just behind my G-spot, and placed the tickler right on my clit.   I turned it on to a middle of the road setting and tried out the first function, which was just a steady vibration.  

OH yes, this would do just fine.  

So I turned it up to a higher, stronger vibrating setting.   Even nicer.   And while that was wonderful in and of itself, I decided it was my duty to try the other settings.   There was a setting that had short pulses, some that had longer pulses, one that had it a soft vibration that would increase to a harder one and then start over.  But my favorite was setting nine...which was a quick STRONG jolt of vibration that would taper to nothing....then BAM, a nice hard vibration. The combination of this on both my clit and my g-spot was just...so nice.   Yes, I do believe I like this toy.   Keeper. I can imagine it will be fun to have someone else running the controls, too.   We shall see about that soon.  Yes, very soon.

I was ready for more, though, so I grabbed the other piece of 'electronics' in my new toy box:  The PROVOCATIVE PLEASURE PLUG PINK.

This was similar to the DeFlower Kit as it was a vibe at the end of a cord attached to a controller, only this one was a nice 'plug shaped vibe, very obviously meant for my ass.

Again, built the way I am, I covered this in lube and started the process of pushing it into me. With a little effort, I finally got it lodged into my ass the way it was meant to be.   Perfect size if I do say so myself.  

It has four speeds on the vibe, so I tried them all out.  You know, in the name of science. 

Damn.  This is also a keeper.  I'm actually not much for a vibe in the ass to be honest, but again, this is the perfect size for that nice 'full feeling' and the added perk of vibration?   Bonus.

At this point, I decide that, while the DeFlower Kit is divine, it really truly is, I want MORE to take me over the edge and complete the full feeling that the Provocative Pleasure Plug Pink (say that 5 times fast...while using it on the fastest setting..ready go!) had started to achieve.  

I set my sexy little 'kit' aside, grab my Hustler Perfect Boyfriend 8, lube it up and straddle it.   Sitting on that lovely, silky realistic 8" cock -  with the pressure of me rocking back and forth front to back pushing it further into me, and at the same time pushing the Provocative Pleasure Plug Pink firmly into my ass - yes, this was exactly what I had been looking for.  

And for the cherry on top, I again reached for the very first toy I tried tonight - the Disco Stick 5 Silver.   I pressed that against my clit while I was riding the other 2 toys.....and GAME OVER, FOLKS...I had one of the nicer toy-induced earth shattering orgasms I could recall.  I am now a happy, content, pile of quiver.

I love when my toys can play well together.

 

Big Teaze Toys I Rub My Duckie Pirate Travel Size

By Sterling

This toy had the most amazing package ever.  It came in a sleek black box with a Jolly Roger skull and crossbones flag on it.  You opened that and behold!  Another box!  This time, the box was a sturdy replica of a treasure chest.  Inside the satin lined (yes, satin lined!  Amazing!) box lay a rubber duckie decked out in pirate gear, including a little removable hat.  Big Teaze obviously put a lot of thought and effort into making just opening one of their toys enjoyable and it pays off.

Just looking at the eye patch and the skull and crossbones adoring the packages made me want to dress up in my wench outfit and engage in some pillaging and plundering.  I first tried this duckie in what I would consider his most natural environment, the bathtub.  Let down number one came when the duck’s front end sank into the water.  This may look like a rubber duckie, but it sure doesn’t float like one.  That’s okay though, because this duck isn’t that kind of toy and has other, much more fun uses.  Before I could get to that though, I had to go through let down number two, the on/off switch.  It’s a tiny thing on the bottom of the duck that you turn.  It’s easy enough to do if you have small, dry hands but in the water or when dealing with other slippery stuff it becomes quite the challenge.  And that’s a challenge you don’t want before you even get started.

Once under way, the pirate duck performs admirably.  His motor is more in his butt than his head, which seems counterintuitive.  I’m not exactly sure where I got the idea that sticking a duck’s head into my clit  would be the right way it would go, but for some reason I was sure it would be his head, not his ass, that vibrated.  The vibrations were quiet enough that you could use this toy with other people in the house and not have a problem.  It vibrated strongly enough to be pleasing, but maybe not strong enough for a YOWZA kind of orgasm. 

Overall, I would give this toy average marks for performance and way, way above average for packaging and originality.  I would absolutely give these toys out, especially to someone who’s uncomfortable with the idea of a vibrator shaped like a rocket  Of course, I would also give them the handy tip that the duckie is pretty awesome if you put him in your underwear while your laying on your back, squeezing him with your thighs and reading good erotic fiction.  Now THAT makes me say argh!

 

Big Teaze Toys - Onye

By Sterling

The package is grey with silver trim.  No picture on the front, just a simple message at the bottom in lower case purple letters: “onye” and beneath that “vibromassuer”.  Tres French no?

Inside is a black satin box lined with plush lavender.  Nestled in this lavender is a sleek, black vibrator about the size of a short, fat cigar.  It’s shiny and black, with a band of latex grip to keep slippery fingers from slipping off.  Like most women, I am a sucker for good packaging.  Onye knows that when marketing high end vibrators, a classy lady doesn’t want a dildo shape or a teddy bear.  Onye is for a high class call girl not a corner hooker.

First, Big Teaze Toys needs to know that nobody wants to buy goddamn triple AAA batteries so please, please start using double AA.  Also, what the fuck is splash proof?  It’s not waterproof so no shower or tub play, but splash proof?  I suppose that means if you’re a squirter, it won’t ruin this toy.   Okay, now that I’ve got that out of the way…those are pretty much my only complaints.  I know!  I’m usually full of skepticism and my vagina isn’t much more optimistic.  We’ve tested out too many pocket rockets to be blown away by much, but ooh la la Onye!

Onye has eight different vibrations.  There is a vibration for every pussy out there.  Or there are eight different vibrations for my jaded goods. Here’s a breakdown of the vibrations. 

•           Vibration 1 – simple and straightforward.

•           Vibration 2 – faster. Harder.

•           Vibration 3 – FASTER! HARDER!

•           Vibration 4- the revving engine vibration.  Have a fantasy about getting fucked on the hood of a classic car while someone revs the engine?  Vibration 4 is the one for you.

•           Vibration 5 – pulsating vibration.  Great for fantasies about fucking to pulsing music.  Use in conjuction with your favorite techno or dance music on your iPod.

•           Vibration 6 – galloping vibration for girls with pony riding fantasies.

•           Vibration 7 – Heavy Metal vibration.  For some reason the combo on this vibration reminds me of the bass line of Heavy Metal music.  Dudududu DUUUUUHHH.  Pair this up with a rocker dude fantasy and you’re good to go. 

•           Vibration 8 –the jackhammer.  Pulsing, fast, hard vibrating.  For when you’re done screwing around and ready to finish this shit up.

Onye is not a cheap, hot pink dildo, it’s a perfection of vibrating sex toy in a package you can take anywhere.  It’s visually appealing and most importantly, me and my pussy like it.  Hands down, the best pocket rocket/vibrator  we’ve ever tested.

 P.S. now that I’ve said “we” about me and my vagina does that mean I need to name the kitty?

 

Hustler’s Spank Me Silly

By Sterling

Everyone should have at least one paddle in their arsenal of sex toys.  Hustler’s Spank Me Silly would be a nice addition.  It’s not designed for people who REALLY like spanking and I’ll explain why later, but it’s a great paddle for a couple who likes the sound of leather hitting skin. 

The flames coming out of the heart provide a pleasing tickle slap, while the heart itself allows for a good full contact slap.  This paddle left my ass pleasingly red and hot to the touch, but never crossed the line into serious pain.  The short handle means even if you have an overenthusiastic partner, there’s only so hard it will hit, which brings me to why this paddle is recommended for beginners or as a warm up before the real fun.

The short handle is flat and not particularly comfortable.  It’s good for about ten or fifteen minutes of paddling, but if you want to dish  out serious punishment it may be YOUR hand that ends up taking a beating.  The short handle also limits how hard you can deal the blow.  Even at a considerable amount of force, I never found this paddle to actually hurt much.  It had a lovely sensual sting that rarely crossed the line into pain.  Sometimes it felt like my partner was working harder than I was.  Though my ass was red, the pain went away quickly and it left no marks.  I’m not going to tell you if that’s good or bad, but it’s information you need to know.

 

Hustler’s The Perfect Girlfriend

By Sterling

When I was in college I was able to balance a full beer on my head.  We used to joke that if I was three feet tall and had no teeth, I would be the perfect girlfriend.  Well, wish no more people!  No, I didn’t shrink and lose my teeth but Hustler did come out with a new pocket pussy named The Perfect Girlfriend.  Except they don’t call it a pocket pussy, which I think is a shame because the name pocket pussy is exceptional.  They call it a “stroker.” 

The Perfect Girlfriend is six inches long and made of translucent material.  I think Hustler was thinking that it would be sexy to be able to see your dick through the material.  Well, Hustler, we’ve had this discussion before.  You need to actually TRY these things before you put them out there.  Do you want to know what it looks like when a man’s dick is inside this toy?  It looks like the worms from the movie “Dune” coming up from the sand.  There’s a hole in the bottom of the toy, presumably to relieve any suction, and it’s stretchy enough that if you get going, the head of the penis sticks right out.  Again, go watch a clip of the sand worms from “Dune.”  Not sexy for watching.  So, I let the man do his thing since it’s obviously meant to be a solo toy.

He says The Perfect Girlfriend is nicer than jacking off with just your hand, since it has that nice ridged feeling inside and you can fantasize easier when it’s not your hand.  He also came a lot faster since it gave a tighter grip than his hand ever could.

However, the downsides ultimately outweighed those two lovely things.  This “stroker” made so much noise it was obscene.  You had to use a lot of lube to even get into it comfortably and then the squishing sounds were almost comical.  It is not a toy that you can use comfortably while your family is in the other room, unless you want them banging on the door asking what the hell that squishing noise is.  The Perfect Girlfriend is also hard to clean, though I think this is true with most pocket pussies.   He also pointed out that because of the generous size of this toy, he wouldn’t feel comfortable traveling with it.

Overall, The Perfect Girlfriend was more like The Average Girlfriend.  She performed just fine, but you wouldn’t be excited to take her home.  She just wasn’t that interesting.  There was a brief moment where we debated seeing what happened if you put the The Perfect Girlfriend inside a real girlfriend.  Now THAT may be interesting.

 

Hustler's The Perfect Boyfriend 8

By Lisa Lavigne

Ok folks. This is officially my first "toy" review.

Let me start by saying that it's always been assumed, among my circle of friends, that I must own a truckload of toys. This is due to the fact that I am hypersexual and am not shy at all about it. It's a misconception, though. As I've stated a million times, I don't like appliances: I like my toys with a pulse. And feelings I can crush.

And I do still prefer those toys. But even I have to take a step outside juggling real life play things and I've come to appreciate a few 'manufactured' toys. My hand held shower head being one of them.

A new toy has recently come into my position: Hustler's "The Perfect Boyfriend". The 8" variety.

After laughing at the name, I unleashed it from it's plastic packaging.

Immediately I knew this was different than some of the "random dildos" I have held in my hot little hands in the past (I said I didn't really like toys, I never said I didn't occasionally have them used on me). It felt....real? Maybe not real, I mean it isn't hot like a fully erect human cock...but holy mother of god, it feels a LOT different than the numerous (shut up) jelly dongs I've come into contact with before.

It's soft. Velvety soft. Soft and smooth yet firm. Much like, dare I say, a real dick. Not exactly, but very similar.

And it - and I know this is going to sound weird - but it smells good. It doesn't smell like latex. It smells almost sweet. What the hell is this made of? I just checked the packaging and I don't see any "ingredients"...but I guess I really don't care. The packaging says it's "Phthalate Free" (whatever the fuck that is) and body safe. Good enough for me.

So now the real test. How does it feel? It feels fanfuckingtastic.

For a cock that's not attached to someone else doing the steering, I was fully impressed. And by fully, I mean fully. The texture and bizarrely lifelike structure was surprisingly pleasant going in, and when clamped down upon, felt the closest to the 'real thing' as anything outside the real thing has ever felt - not that normal 'unforgiving' consistency of fake cocks I've had inside me in the past. And as a special bonus, it's decent sized base, a faux set o' balls with a flat backside, was good for sitting upright on a stable surface and sliding down upon. And back off of. And back onto.

Honestly, I'm actually very surprised that I'm as impressed with a dildo - and one that doesn't have bells and whistles that animate it in some fashion. If the texture and feel of this bad boy gets integrated with some sort of motorized 'rabbit-esque' type of movement and clit vibe....I seriously may never leave the house again. Ok that's not true, but it would take a lot more to coax me out if I'm armed with that and a bottle of wine. That's a goddamned DATE.

And now I'm off to give it another spin. Because I'm thorough like that. All in the name of science of course...

 

Adam & Eve Curved Beaded Glass Dildo

By Strawberry Blonde Bombshell

One of my favorite styles of toys is the kind which has varying widths, for example when they start small and get bigger. Now it’s not beast of a toy, but Adam & Eve’s Curved Beaded Glass Dildo has that style and much more. The glass is a lovely shade of purple and it goes from small to big, but it is beaded all the way down, so how could a girl not fall in love with this…at least I hope to.

The Adam & Eve website describes the Curved Beaded Glass Dildo on their website as “has so many delightfully wicked twists and turns, it’s like getting three sex toys in one!” I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it certainly has many variations for such a handy toy.

Made from non-porous glass, the dildo has a slight curve to it which not only makes it easy to hold while sliding it in and out of your pussy, but also curves just enough to hit all the good spots against your pussy walls. Like I said, Its easy to handle and I could can feel each glass bead as it slid in and out of me. At six inches long and 1.25 inches wide, the curved beaded glass dildo isn’t too heavy and would work well for anyone who loves sex toys.

If you wan to really get creative you can turn it around and put the big beaded end in your pussy first, but be careful not to lose it. Either way, the sensations of the glass beads getting bigger or smaller feels really good and will most likely bring any girl to orgasm.

I’d be remised if I didn’t mention the small end of the toy and its “tantalizing twists” because that seems to be on of the selling points Adam & Eve are pushing. The small tip does have a twisty tip, which you can rub on your slit or feel inside you, but if you are an experienced sex toy player, I don’t know if this will do much good due to the small size.

All that being said, I’d say Adam & Eve’s Curved Beaded Glass Dildo is a keeper and will have a nice spt saved next to my bed in my night stand. The diversity of this toy is the appeal and the fact that it does the job is even better.

 

Adam & Eve Male Cyberglass Anal Balls

By Strawberry Blonde Bombshell

This pretty toy from Adam & Eve is labeled for a man and even has a man on the packaging, but I still couldn’t resist trying Male Cyber glass Anal Balls myself. I mean come on, women like anal too you know.

At first touch I was surprised how heavy and big these were, not to mention a little bit apprehensive if I could slide them in my ass an intended. Plus the description on the Adam & Eve site states they can double as keel exercisers. which makes me wonder why they put “male” in the title, this toy is both sexes. In fact these cyber glass balls has many uses, including warming them up for a nice massage or freeze them for some teasing.

The balls themselves are 1.85 inches across and 4.25 inches long with a silicone retrievable chord. They are firmly wrapped in this stretchy material so there shall be no fear in getting these balls lost inside you.

As I warmed the balls up and rubbed them over my body, clit and pussy lips, I couldn’t help myself but to slide the two balls inside my and wiggle around a little bit to see what they felt like. Not only did they feel fantastic, but when you get up and walk around it this feels divine. I actually had to sit down and get myself off because they felt so good. In addition, once you get used to them they do in fact strengthen your vagina muscles the longer you leave them in.

On a separate occasion, after some anal play with one of my favorite glass toys, I decided to go all out and try to fit these bad boys in my ass. After adding plenty of lube, one ball went in easier then I expected and number two went in easy as well. I sat up in bed, wiggled around a little and I felt full, I felt the balls knocking together. This is what put me over the edge when they were in my pussy and I think they were going to do the same for me in my ass. I didn’t get up and walk around this time, rather I took one of my vibrator’s and fucked my pussy and within minutes I was having one of the most intense orgasms I’ve had with toy play. It was toe curling, tense your body type of cum and it felt fabulous.

Needless to day I’ve used these one more than one occasion and left them in my while working around the house. The Male Cyberglass Anal Balls from Adam & Eve do everything they promise and more.

 

Adam & Eve Silicone Taffy Tickler Glass Dildo

By Strawberry Blonde Bombshell

I love glass toys and I've tried my fair share of "ticklers" so when i saw Adam & Eve’s Silicone Taffy Tickler Glass Dildo i thought why not combine them. This could be like putting peanut butter and chocolate together

Out of the plastic packaging it came and off came my pants. At a little over five inches long and an inch around the glass toy was sturdy to say the least. The version of Taffy Tickler I got had orange ticklers around it and needless to say, it’s not the sexiest color on a toy. The silicone ticklers wrapped around the shaft from top to nearly the bottom so there were a lot of numbs on the toy.

After a little pussy fingering warm up, in goes the toy, ouch. Bad move on my part. Lesson learned here, if you want to play with this toy correctly use lube and lots of it for you beginners. Once properly lubed up I slowly inserted the toy again and it went in easier without any discomfort. I’ll be honest...it felt weird as I pushed the toy in and out of my pussy it felt like a small cactus fucking me. I like it rough, but this was a little too prickly for my liking.

It’s not the glass part at all. It was the orange ticklers that turned me off. I am thinking if there wasn’t so many it would be a lot more fun, so take note Adam & Eve – less is more for this girl.

 

Hustler’s Disco Stick

By Sterling

When I first opened the package for these rock and roll vibrators, I thought they were laughable. So laughable that I actually trotted them out at a party, put batteries in them and made them do 'vibrator races' across the floor. While laughing hysterically, I noticed something interesting. The little one was leaping like a goddamn frog. Leaping. Off the floor. Oh, hey little vibrator, what have you got going on in there?

Turns out the studded exterior of these vibrators hides a gem inside. Much like the punk rock boys of my youth who were all swagger, spit and tough talk, but once you got them home they just wanted to make you happy and cuddle afterwards. This vibrator has a tough exterior but a heart of gold. So take a deep breath and look past the harsh plastic, the studs, the bright disco colors and turn that motherfucker on. You will not regret it.

Don't tell my partners, but holy crap! Best. Orgasm. In a long time. This little vibrator packed a punch. It's like when you get into a Mini Cooper and you're expecting to toodle about and instead you realize someone has replaced the engine with a giant V-8, dual exhaust and even racing suspension. You are in for a ride! This little vibrator comes out of the gate buzzing like a jet plane. I was blissed out from the get go. Then, just as I was getting close, I realized I didn't even have it turned up all the way. So I cranked it up…and was a goner. Instantly. Did you hear that? Instantly.

Okay, this is not a renaissance vibrator. I don't think I'd want this sucker inside me (but don't quote me on that.....) and it's not anything fancy. But what this vibrator does is knock it out of the park with the one thing it does - vibrate. Thank you, Hustler for putting such a powerful motor in such a tiny package. When I need to come, and I need to come right now, I know what I'm reaching for.

 

Screaming O’s Triple Pleasure Ring

By Sterling

Just the packaging alone on this cock ring sets it apart from the others. The Big Glow touts that you can turn your bedroom into a disco. So we dimmed the lights, turned on a little Bee Gee’s Saturday Night Fever and got down with our bad selves.

The stretchy material of this cock ring made for a good fit and my honey reported it was the perfect amount of sexy discomfort. Once on, you are ready to boogie oogie oogie all night long. Get it wet for getting this baby on and off or you will pull delicate skin that shouldn’t be pulled but once you have it in place, you are ready to jive. This cock ring can go the distance, advertising 80-plus minutes of intense vibration. We didn’t make it 80 minutes. Why? Because we’re not porn stars AND because the Screaming O’s Big Glow cock ring produced screaming O results. This cock ring is also reported to be waterproof but by the time I realized that I had exhausted myself in the bedroom. This would be super fun in a dark bathroom though!

Disco is pushing it a bit, since the stimulator on top flashes red. It’s more of a police siren vibe if you ask me, but that can be kinky too. Bust out the handcuffs baby! The light was a big hit with the man, since he liked seeing the action bathed in a red glow. If your girl is shy about turning on the lights, just use this instead so you can watch.

The varying vibrations were awesome and allowed for a little break in between good feelings, or if you want to go for the gold you can turn the vibrations on to constant. The size and shape (thank you, thank you, thank you for NOT making it a goddamn butterfly or teddy bear) are perfect for pushing into the love button and delivering a consistent good pressure. I know the toy can last 80 minutes but once that disco ball got near my clit I was done almost immediately. I’m thinking of putting this on a dildo. Wait, seriously. I’m a genius. I would put this on a dildo and never get out of bed!

The Big Glow gets a big thumbs up from me and my honey. I would highly recommend this toy and I can’t wait to try the next one which has a stimulator for me AND for him. Get down, get funky!

 

Adam & Eve Crystal Crescent Dildo

By Strawberry Blonde Bombshell

Welcome to my first toy review for IWAdult.com. I am excited to be here and hope you enjoy my candid and honest reviews. As a girl who has plenty of experience with adult toys, I welcome this opportunity, so let’s get started.

The nice little glass toy comes from Adam & Eve and is called the Crystal Crescent Dildo, The curved design works well in your hand and at first glance I really was exited to try boy ends, one being bigger than the other. And at seven inches long and an inch wide, I knew I wouldn’t have trouble taking it.

As I warmed myself up and got my pussy nice and wet I took the Crystal Crescent Dildo and slide the smaller end up in me and started pushing it in and out it was nice to feel it warm up. In the future you might want to warm it up before inserting the toy because it won’t be such a shock. As I picked up the pace the toy got wetter and here came the problem, it was tricky to hold on to. However, if you maintain a good grip you can swirl the toy around inside you and it feels really good hitting all the right spots.

The small end didn’t get me off so I turned the toy around and went with the rounder bulbous end and it felt much better. It’s probably best to start with the smaller end first by the way. When I plunged the rounded in deep in me almost taking every inch that is when I really got off. I could feel the large bulb rub against my pussy walls and make me wetter and wetter until I couldn’t hold off anymore and have an intense orgasm.

To make sure I liked the Adam & Eve Crystal Crescent Dildo I used it a few more times before writing this review and it worked very well each time. It got me off more times than not. As long as you can keep a handle on it, this toy will bring you many nice orgasms.

 

Hustler’s Bang Bang Bullet

By Erika Icon

Wireless toys are awesome. You never have a hanging cord and can play some pretty kinky games with them, like letting your lover control the switches and how long you’ll get off (it could go one for hours). It might leave you hollering “bang, bang.” So, this is obviously a correctly named toy and you’ll definitely get more bang for your buck and a bang out of it (I couldn’t resist).

More pluses…it has seven, yes seven,  different vibrations and can be used in the shower or bath (just make sure the controller doesn’t get wet). It also comes with its own batteries (it’s a top secret, special kind). Just take it out of the box and get busy—that’s a huge plus in my book. It also cleans up easy. Plus it comes in an attractive box that can be re-used for storage.

Only drawback is the suggested retail price is almost $100. Some places do have it for a little more than 50 bones (just shop around). I have to go now and get to my wild adventures with this toy.

 

Hustler’s Frisky Rabbit

By Erika Icon

This rabbit is way better than Hustler’s Non-Conformist Rabbit — it’s a few inches smaller, lighter and easier to hold and use. I don’t miss the loud rotating pearls of the other Godzilla vibe. I also like that it’s pink, which is one of my fave colors. It also makes it very easy to find in the bed and is super girly. The 3 vibrations and five functions are pretty powerful and can take your breath away. The box says “intermediate” on it, but I think it’s referring to the orgasms and not operator skills.

The only downfall to this toy is that it uses three AAA batteries and I only had two left — this meant a trip to the store and that’s not a good thing. AAA batteries are always a minus in one of my reviews. Outside of that one little gripe, I can’t fault this cute little toy that looks like it would be owned by Hello Kitty and friends.

A $50 price point is extremely reasonable. So you can buy one for a friend and yourself, hint, hint. This is definitely one of the better rabbits on the market and worth owning.

 

Hustler’s Non-Conformist Rabbit

By Erika Icon

The first thing I thought when I saw this was “oh my God”! Who is this rabbit for, Godzilla? It’s huge (about 7”) and kind of heavy — must be those rotating pearls. And the price tag is a monster, as well—almost $70 dollars. Now, I don’t mind spending some money on a toy if it’s the shit, but this one didn’t quite deliver. It’s just awkward. Not only is it clunky and heavy, but also it doesn’t really do the job. If it were a few inches smaller (when have you ever heard a woman ask for smaller?), it would be awesome! It’s hard to get off when you’re sidetracked by its awkwardness. Seriously, really.

There are a few good things about the Godzilla-sized rabbit. It’s made of Phthalate Free Body Safe Material and is waterproof. Another plus is that it takes “AA” batteries, which is always a minus in this reviewers book—that means, this time I was prepared and had them on deck (although it’s fun to go to CVS and buy a shit-ton of batteries and have them wonder what I’m doing—then again they MUST know). Outside of that, I’d pick another toy of the shelf to go home with.

 

Pipedreams’ Icicles Glass Massager

By Ericka Icon

First off, I LOVE the packaging! There’s a peep window so you can actually see what you’re buying and the graphics, box, etc. are aesthetically pleasing. The toy itself is a beautiful, sleek object and thankfully not as heavy as other glass toys. Some glass toys make you feel like you’re getting a workout at the gym, since they are so heavy! This is meant to be an anal dildo, but can be used vaginally and I kind of prefer that. The graduated sized beads are a nice pleasurable touch and also make it a great way to train your ass. Just make sure to lube up a lot and with the correct kind of lube (anal, if it’s for your ass, or water-based for the vajayjay).

I’m not a huge fan of glass dildos in general, but you can’t help but love this toy — you can also chill it in the freezer or run it under hot water for an amazing extra sensation (and we’ll leave it at that). Another plus to glass toys is obviously the clean-up which is really easy—either put it in the dishwasher or wash it with warm soapy water or toy cleaner in the sink (just make sure not to drop it). The toy runs about $25 and makes a wonderful addition to your growing toy collection or could even be a wedding shower gift.

 

Adam & Eve: A Real Man’s Cock Ring

By Sterling

Adam & Eve packaged two cock rings together in their Real Man’s Cock Ring.  It’s marketed as “Two Sizes for the Perfect Fit.”  Genius, pure genius.  The small ring is obviously too small for the average man’s penis but not too small for the average man’s ego.  You can imagine the strutting around crowing “I had to use the BIG size cock ring for this bad boy.”  Of course, if your man is on the smaller side this may not have quite the desired effect.  But he will at least have a cock ring that fits and that should make you both happy!

We didn’t want to waste the extra cock ring, so we used both.  Oh yes, we used that tiny little purple cock ring too!  We put the hot orange larger cock ring on as a normal cock ring and used the purple on one the tip.  Yowza!  Both rings were effective and kept my man’s cock nice and hard.  He did say the little one on the tip was a weency bit painful at the end since it cut off circulation quite effectively.  I enjoyed the feeling of the one on the tip, since it was ridged.

These were a bit stiffer than the average cock ring we’ve tried out before, but still flexible enough to get on and off without too much trouble.   The little one on the tip took a little more effort, so please be careful.  They are made of latex so if you have sensitivities to latex you’ll want to watch out for that.  Overall though, these cock rings were enjoyable and did the job admirably.  Yes, yes a cock ring can do an admirable job.  We will be putting these toys into regular rotation, which is about as good a compliment as you can get from me.

 

Adam & Eve: Handmaiden The Original

By Sterling

I love the picture they show on their website of this dildo cradled in your hand.  Seriously, look at the picture.  Finally, somebody figured out that if you are using a dildo for more than few minutes, your fingers start to hurt from gripping it.  Plus, when you are in the throws of passion, it’s hard to keep that grip up and sometimes your fingers cramp up at just the wrong moment, Instead of “Oh yes”, you’re screaming “Oh, no!”

The Handmaiden is a good size, coming in at five insertable inches and is made of silicone.  Silicone is great because it lasts forever.  You must make extra sure that you do NOT use a silicone lubricant with a silicone toy since it can degrade the toy.  And by degrade, I don’t mean calling it names and making it feel bad, I mean it will RUIN it.  So please, buy some water based lube to use with this toy.

This toy is good with a partner or without.  It has ridges on it designed to stimulate your G spot.  It’s a nice size and the curve helps it stay put, which is fabulous during solo play.  I like that the handle, which is super comfy, puts some pressure up near your clit depending on the angle.  I also liked that you can actually flip over onto your stomach and it stays in!  This is huge for those of us who enjoy grinding on our stomachs or if you’re restrained on your stomach.  No more slipping out, this dildo stays put.

It says on the box that the Handmaiden can be boiled or run through the dishwasher for cleanliness.  Just make sure you’re the one emptying the dishwasher so you don’t have to explain to friends, roommates or children what the pink thing on the top shelf is.  The Handmaiden can also be frozen or microwaved if you want some extra sensation.  Please be careful if you’re microwaving it, especially if it’s not your pussy you’re putting it into.  Internal burns are not sexy, not sexy at all.  Same thing goes with icing.  Some people (okay, me) have ice sensitivities and break out in hives from ice.  Hives = not sexy.  So check with your partner before putting hot or cold things in their bits.

 

Hustler Rocker Vibe

By Sterling

These basic beginner vibes come in two sizes and a plethora of colors to match your mood.  Hustler recommends you collect them all.  I’m not sure why, maybe so you can have a vibe of the week collection? Monday is pink, Tuesday is blue, Wednesday is purple and so on.  I always liked days of the week underwear where your underwear has what day it is on it.  It’s a good way to keep track of your week.  Though you get strange looks when someone asks you what day it is and you look down your pants.

Rocker Vibes are a beginner toy according to Hustler and I can see why.  This is the kind of vibe you might give to someone who’s never owned a toy before.  The vibrations are not very strong and the style is very basic rocket style.  Thumbs up for making it use double AA batteries though.

I don’t have a huge amount to say about the Rocket Vibes, except that they are exactly what you’d expect for a beginner rocket vibe.  They are totally inexpensive, which is awesome.  I like that Hustler is making sex toys affordable for everyone and the Rocket Vibe is no exception.  It also is a nice toy for travel since it’s very non-offensive looking.  You can’t pretend it’s just a massager, but it doesn’t look like a giant penis.  On the other hand, then you don’t get to watch the people at airport security blush and stutter when they see a giant penis dildo in your bag. 

So, for all the virgins out there reading these reviews, or all the moms wondering what first vibrator they could get their daughters (kidding, I’m totally kidding.  I would be mortified if my mother gave me a vibrator.  Though maybe you’re that kind of cool mom…) this vibrator is a great, very first toy to play with, non-intimidating and straightforward.  It should hold you off for at least a month until you’re ready to move up into more serious business.

 

Hustler Scandalous Skull

By Sterling

Finally, Hustler hits one out of the park.  Hustler and I have had our disagreements in the past, but this toy rocked.  Plus it uses two double AA batteries rather than the dreaded AAA batteries.  And I have finally gotten smart enough to buy rechargeable batteries. 

The Scandalous Skull vibe is red with etchings of a Day of the Dead style skull on it.  Very cool, Hustler scores for style.  It’s a 7” vibe so it’s a satisfying size as well.  It has multiple speeds ranging from a sweet little buzz to an almost massage style vibration.  Versatility in vibrations is important and this toy delivers.

The shape is my favorite thing though.  Oh, the shape!  It’s got a wider head, then it tapers down and then evens out and widens again at the base, which means that when you’re using this, you get to feel dirty but you don’t have to actually stretch out the pleasure palace too much.  My partner enjoyed watching while he used this vibe.  It’s strong enough to be used on the outside and the wider head covers lots of ground….er body.

Hustler’s Scandalous Skull is a toy I would recommend for friends who are ready to move past the Rocket Vibes and head into the world of more interesting sex toys.  It’s just kinky enough to rev up your imagination but not so scary that you wouldn’t use it.  Plus the skull keeps it from being too girly and the shape makes it interesting.  Something besides a pretend penis, this vibe is like a penis and a massager all in one.  The best of all worlds.  Bravo, Hustler.  Bravo.

 

Hustler Spice & Vice

By Sterling

Hustler, Hustler, Hustler.  We need to have a talk.  Your packaging is still the bomb and the names you come up with are adorable.  Obviously when everyone is sitting around eating muffins and drinking coffee in your meeting room, somebody is coming up with good branding ideas.  Maybe you even have a team of people working on it.  They deserve an A+ for the packaging. 

For all their cute names and packaging ideas though, I have to wonder if these same marketing people actually have kinky sex, because the practicality of these toys is just not happening.  You get a D- for in bedroom trials.

The Hustler Spice & Vice is a cuff and blindfold set.  The set is silver, which is a nice change from black, hot pink and purple.  However, the blindfold, which looks like some sort of superhero mask without eye holes, doesn’t work.  It’s too stiff and too small.  I could totally see out of it.  Hustler, this defeats the whole purpose of a blindfold.  Don’t you have people test these products?  I didn’t even attempt to actually use it when playing with my partner, it was that bad.

So let’s move on to the ‘cuffs’.  The cuffs are not handcuffs but a tether designed to be used for wrists or ankles.  Kudos for attempting versatility, Hustler, but again you need to TEST these products!  And by test, I mean test them on a person having sex, not just hanging out in an office giggling about how you are ‘restrained.’  We tried the tether cuffs on both my wrists and ankles.  Here’s the problem, it’s useless.  So your hands are cuffed together, but there is enough room between them so you can easily get out of them.  Lame.  How are you supposed to get your submissive kink on when you know you can get out?  My imagination just isn’t that good these days, I want to actually be restrained.

So we tried it on the ankles.  It was a little shorter that way, but not short enough.  So I have no idea why you would put it on your ankles.  You couldn’t restrain the legs closed (kinky!) and you couldn’t spread them apart (very kinky!).  So, why would you put these around your ankles?  It was about as sexy as when your pants are around your ankles and you can’t get them off.  It is okay for a quickie I guess but if I’m pulling out restraints I want more than that.  I want something that works.

I want to like Spice & Vice but I wouldn’t even recommend it for a novice friend because they wouldn’t be getting the right experience.  Hustler, re-do the product but keep the cute packaging and name and then we’ll talk.  Or I’ll let you do the talking while I’m tied up properly and blindfolded.

 

Hustler Bad Girl Vibe

A Review by Sterling

Like brass knuckles, only in pink plastic!  And with a built in pocket rocket vibrator!  Hustler’s Bad Girl Vibe  is probably my most visually favorite.  This is the vibe you want to pull out to show your friends because it's so cute and funny.  It's also completely workable and I like that you can just slip your hand in for a good grip. Sometimes you need that extra pressure and it's frustrating when you're in the middle of some solo action and you drop the vibe.

Rocket shapes are nice and all, but when you're looking for some old fashioned clit pounding, you need something that isn't going to fly out of your hands.  Bad Girl Vibe is your best friend for that.  I was surprised at how small the opening for your hand is though.  I have pretty small hands and couldn't get my hand through very comfortably without wriggling to make it fit.  It wasn't the biggest deal in the world, but it certainly means my partner with his giant man hands is not going to be able to help much.  So this is definitely a solo toy, besides, the whole brass knuckles things just screams "I don't need your motherfucking cock anyway!", but in a totally adorable "I'm still a girl" kind of way.  

 

Hustlers Ben Wha???  Balls

A Review by Sterling

I recently received another care package with Hustler toys in it.  I was especially intrigued because Hustler included a package of Ben Wa balls.  I have always wanted to try Ben Wa balls and now I was going to get the chance.

 I did a little research on Ben Wa balls to try and figure out exactly how to use them.  There was a warning on the packaging that you should not use them for longer than 15 minutes, but there was no explanation as to why...intriguing.  It seems that Ben Wa balls have been around for quite some time, but their origins are vague.  The general idea is that you insert the balls into your vagina and you use your kegel muscles to hold them into place. The act of using your muscles supposedly leaves you turned on, teased and also increases muscle tone.  Presumably this is so you can have the pussy of an 18- year-old virgin.

 Hustler’s Ben Wa balls were made of  gold plastic and about the size and weight of ping pong balls.  They didn’t offer any suggestions on what to do with them, so I again turned to the internet for some advice.

 I decided to do some Ben Wa exercise and follow it up with some Ben Wa pleasure.  I love that they suggested sitting on a coin-operated massage chair.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a coin-operated massage chair.  Maybe next time I get a pedicure I’ll make it R rated and turn on the massage chair while I have Ben Wa balls in.

 First I lay down to insert the Ben Wa balls. The balls were a little cold but I used a little lube to ensure easy sliding and they went right in. I stood up….so far, so good.  I walked around.  I couldn’t feel anything.  I jumped around.  Nothing.  I didn’t even have to consciously flex to keep the balls in.  So much for Ben Wa exercise.  This must mean good things for my kegel muscles, right?  Since the walking around didn’t seem to be doing much of anything I decided to turn to the pleasure part.

 My partner wasn’t around so I pulled out a vibrator and lay down.  Masturbating was no problem, though I admit I didn’t try and put the vibrator inside like they suggested.  The Ben Wa balls didn’t do anything one way or the other.  I didn’t even feel them at all.  Disappointing.  After coming, I went into the bathroom to take them out.  It had been fifteen minutes and I didn’t want to explode or whatever it is that happens when you leave them in longer than fifteen minutes.

I reached inside and hooked a finger around the first ball.  Since I had a pretty decent orgasm, the ball was coated with girly juice, which seems sexy until you’re trying to pull it out of your vagina and it keeps slipping.  I did retrieve it finally and got ready to go back for the second ball, which was when I realized that my vagina must have the power of a vacuum cleaner.

Teen virgins have NOTHING on my incredibly powerful kegel muscles.  Muscles that seemed to have locked down on the Ben Wa ball and weren’t letting go.  I have small hands and my fingers couldn’t even get up far enough to do much more than tickle the end of it.  I squatted on the bathroom floor and tried again.  I could touch more of the ball but it was so slippery that it would just slide out of my fingertips’ reach.  I was having nightmarish visions of having to go the emergency room to get the Ben Wa ball retrieved by some hot young doctor. Wait, did I say nightmarish?  Let me rethink this vision….

 Finally I squatted and pushed down and managed to yank the ball out.  It wasn’t pretty or sexy or satisfying.  My muscles are certainly strong enough to suck those suckers in and keep them in, but apparently I could use work on pushing things out. So if I use these again I will definitely plan on working on the pushing out aspect. That way in a few months I can open my own side-show where I shoot ping pong balls out of my pussy. Sweet!

 All in all, I would not recommend the Hustler Ben Wa balls unless you have some seriously weak muscles or extra long fingers to get them out.  They are too light to accomplish anything (a heavier ball might be more challenging or some of those musical ones might be sexy) and they don’t have a string attached to help you pull them out.  Which leads me to my final point about these Ben Wa balls. Whatever you do with them do NOT put these in your butt. With no string, your butt will suck them up and YOU will end up in the ER getting them removed.  Of course then you might meet that hot young doctor I was fantasizing about……but really, is it worth it?  I don’t think so.

 

Hustler's Rebel Rocket

By Sterling

This 4" pocket vibe is shaped like a little flashlight but with nubbies on the ends.  I thought I was gonna love this toy.  I took it with me into the shower one morning to try it out.  In theory, I want to love it.  The lovely eggplant color, the name Rebel Rocket, the nubbies....but alas, it wasn't meant to be.  It's not that the vibe didn't pack enough power or that the nubs didn't help out.  It's that the on/off mechanism on the bottom is incredibly hard to do and almost impossible to do with wet hands.  Call me lazy but I need a one handed approach when it comes to my vibrators.  I have better things to do with my other hand than wrestle with getting my vibe on and off.

Once it was on though, it did the job admirably enough.  I love that it's waterproof.  I also should mention that again, Hustler hits it out of the park in terms of packaging, user friendly toys, and affordability.  I really admire their whole campaign of wanting everyone to have some sex toys.  I agree with that.  This toy works for solo missions and also for partner play.  I didn't get a chance to try this, but I'm betting the awesome vibrations with the nubbies would go over well with men as well.  You know, on those dark, sensitive areas that nobody ever wants to talk about.  This toy also gets high marks for using a AA battery, which I have five hundred of sitting around the house, instead of a AAA battery.  Go Hustler!

 

Hustler’s Inky & Kinky Turquoise Vibe

A Review by Erika Icon

Though it might sound a like a segment from Kat Von D’s “L.A. Ink,” it’s really the latest and potentially greatest toy from Hustler’s toy division.

Not only is the Inky & Kinky Vibe aesthetically pleasing with its beautifully painted purple flowers, but it’s also light and easy to grip. The 5-inch vibe only takes a “AA” battery and has three speeds that are very close in power, but gives a good jolt, which is very important in a vibrator. This toy can be used internally or externally — you can use it as a g-spotter or a vibrating dildo. The vibe is phthalate free, which is good for people with allergies, who want to save the environment or just don’t want nasty plastic chemicals near their most important bits.

Hustler puts a lot of thought not only into the design of their toys, but also the packaging which is simple, sleek and chic — and can be reused to store the toy. I think it also makes people who are apprehensive of toys want to pick up and buy it. Another thing that I like is how they list the calories burned using each toy — this one says 62 calories, but I doubt I could use it non-stop that long.

The Inky & Kinky also comes in black and purple. Vibrators can be like shoes and you can get every color of one style. The retail is $35, but you can find it on sale for a tad under $25. Makes a great gift, but you might be tempted to keep it for yourself so you might want to get 2 or more.

 

Hustler’s Heartbreaker Vibe

A Review by Erika Icon

Although the packaging is awesome, you will want to pull this toy right out of the package — well, as soon as you can stop singing Pat Benetar’s “Heartbreaker” song. “You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love-taker…” But, I digress. OK, maybe not the best name for a toy, but it could potentially break your man’s heart when you find you like it better than him — men always seem to have this fear and I have yet to find a toy that will replace a man.

I actually did like this toy, and not just because it was g-spotter. It’s velvety soft and easy to hold onto and it’s very light. I will admit, g-spotter toys are my favorite because you get the job done, and quickly. And the three speeds are pretty powerful, although not too much different from one another.

This toy can be purchased at your local Hustler shop, Spencers (yes, the whacky retail and online shop) or your local smut shop. It runs a tad under $25, which is reasonable for a toy like this. Plus, it might become your favorite toy so you can get rid of all the rest, and not have to buy anymore. And it can double as a microphone when you sing “Heartbreaker” at karaoke. Kidding.

 

Hustler’s Yin Wang Dual Vibrating Cock Rings

A Review by Erika Icon

Do opposites attract? Apparently, if they are cock rings. The Yin Wang Cock Ring Set comes in a re-sealable Ziplock bag, which is great for storage. I like to keep it in the bag under my partner’s pillow so I can just whip it out and put it on his dick. It’s cool — you get a soft one and hard one. I preferred the soft one. Since they are ying and yang symbols, they have a weird shape (and that tail is pretty useless), but the vibration isn’t bad. It might take you a few tries to figure out how to flip on the switch — it’s not indented very well or labeled. And it comes with the batteries, which is a good thing since they are those calculator-like ones.

Although I’m not a gay man (well, last time I looked, I was neither), I think this toy would appeal to gay dudes. It aesthetically pleasing, works well, is easily stored and isn’t too girly. Plus, the fit is awesome. And it can probably be used solo while jerking off to prolong the fun — I’ll have to test that out later and get back with you. Well, someone else will. Not sure if you can burn the 42 calories in an hour that it states on the package if you aren’t actually fucking.

It’s a cool little toy with a price tag of under $20. So, you really can’t go wrong if you pick one up for yourself or give it as a gift. Tell Santa to put one under your tree…or on your boyfriend’s dick.

 

Hustler’s Provocative Pleasure Plug

A Review by Erika Icon 

Let’s face it…anal sex can be scary. It’s always good to start small and work your way up…with toys, that is. Well, this is definitely NOT a beginner’s toy and probably why it’s labeled “professional” on the box. Only a porn chick or a girl who’s an anal fiend can get this Godzilla-sized vibrating butt plug in her ass with ease. Maybe, they should change the name to the Jenna Haze Pleasue Plug or leave out the tagline of “Relax, It’s Just Sex”. The vibrations are awesome (all three speeds) and the 3.5 inch size is great, but alas, it is too wide for us mere mortals. It’s definitely something to work your way up to. Another cool thing about this is that you can use it alone and don’t need your partner there to help you out. Well, he (or she) can go get you the lube.

Hustler’s Provocative Pleasure Plug does come in two colors — pink and blue and, it’s under $23, so you can’t beat that for a well-made toy that comes in such great packaging. Another plus is you can use the butt plug (not the controller) in the bath. If you’re not a “professional”, you might not want to try this at home since the water will lessen the amount of lube in your ass, even if you use the proper lube (anal lube), which is thicker. I’m also curious as to how using this can allow you to burn 52 calories an hour — that’s what the package says.

 

 

Hustler’s Mini Mistress Massager

A Review by Erika Icon

First off, this toy is my two favorite colors — pink and black. It also comes in purple and black. The next thing that occurred to me is how much the Mini Mistress Massager looks like a mini Hitachi Magic Wand, which is one of my all-time favorite toys. It even has a plug/adapter, like the Magic Wand — yes, no batteries and it probably won’t run up your electric bill (you just have to remember to pay it so you can play with your new toy.) And apparently, you can plug it into the USB ports of your computer. That’s awesome if you like to masturbate in front of your computer, which I doubt most girls do. But, if you have a laptop, you can go into the bedroom, too.

The massager is labeled “beginner”, but I think the five crazy speeds would be too much for the beginner. And whether you’re a beginner or a pro, it’s always a good idea to use a dab (or more) of lube. This toy isn’t as powerful as the Magic Wand, but it’s pretty damn good. And a Magic Wand goes for $50 when this toy is almost $60. If it were cheaper, I would say go for it. But, since it’s more, I’d say go with the original. I’m sure you could burn more than the 88 calories an hour listed on the Hustler box. By the way, even thought the packaging is awesome, it’s flimsy and will fall apart shortly after the toy is removed from the box. Guess you’ll just have to hide it under your pillow. Or leave it out and pretend that you’re having back problems and need to remove the kinks.

 

Pipedream Toys Britney Bitch Love Doll

A Review by Erika Icon 

I loved the box so much with the Britney Spears lookalike pictured (only this girl has way bigger boobs) and the “Oops! She did it again!” tagline. The paparazzi on the back of the box are really ingenious and one of them looks a lot like their Marketing Manager. For some reason, I get all excited when I see love doll boxes and one that looked like Britney Spears made my day. It would have been funnier if it came out in her heyday. But, it’s probably a good idea they waited since there has been an uproar over their Jessica Love Doll, J-Ho Fantasy Doll, Paris Love Doll and Kinky Kim Filthy Love Doll — I guess Jessica Simpson, J-Lo, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian didn’t see the humor of being made into a blow up doll.

Most dolls don’t look at all like the box — Pipedream did a decent job. It’s got the typical 2-inch holes (or as the box says “3 Toxic Love Holes”) that you could never get your dick all the way into. And like the real Britney, she’s not wearing underwear on the photos on the box, nor does the doll come with underwear. Just blow her up and crank up the karaoke machine. Well, if you’re into that.

The average price runs about $25. The Superstar Series Britney Bitch Love Doll makes a great bachelor gift or gag gift to terrorize the office perv.

 

Bear Hug Vibe

A Review by Sterling 

This toy is adorable, which makes me slightly uncomfortable.  I'm not so much into “cute” sex and cute sex toys make me feel a little funny.  Like maybe I should be wearing knee socks and a plaid skirt while I use them.  The Bear Hug Vibe comes in hot pink or purple and they've really paid attention to detail.  The vibe itself (medium sized, not too long and not too big) has bamboo trees, butterflies, bees and flowers on it.  Pretty, no?  The clitoral stimulator is a little bear with his hands held out in front of him.  Awwwww, he wants to hug me!

This vibe is waterproof so the first thing I did is jump in the tub to test it out.  After turning it on and watching it 'swim' around the tub for a few minutes (and wondering why I'm not taking a video of my vibrator swimming around the tub) I put it to use.  It had the right amount of power and was a nice size.  Definitely waterproof (though I admit I'm really not getting the whole masturbating in the bath tub thing.  Maybe I'm missing something??) and wasn't so big that I felt like I had to pull out the big fantasies to get into it.  The little clit bear did his job wonderfully.  I'm wondering if you turned the vibe around if maybe the little clit bear could become a little butt bear.  That could be really good!  This toy was marked intermediate which kind of made me giggle.  Maybe it's that if it goes inside it qualifies as intermediate.

 

 

Cat & Mouse

A Review by Sterling 

Cat & Mouse was the most awesome in terms of packaging.  A hot pink computer mouse that when you turn on lights up and changes colors!  It's attached by about a two and a half foot cord to a small vibrator that looks like a very tiny thick penis.  The vibe turns on where you would turn a computer mouse on to scroll down the pages.  It's a cool concept and a great gag gift for someone who's into computers, but beyond the conceptual part it didn't work as well for me.  It's awkward to play with. It feels like the 'mouse' should be on a flat surface and how often do you masturbate right near the table or your desk?  Again, if it was wireless it would be freaking awesome! Then you could take it to work and leave the mouse on your desk and pretend to work when actually you're totally masturbating.  Kinky!! I would buy this toy as a gift for someone but not as an addition to my toy box.  I will say that what it does do well is vibrate.  It packs a better punch than the Wing Fling and I like the thickness of the little vibe.  If I had to pick between the two I'd pick Cat & Mouse.  But really, I'd rather have a Bear Hug.  Wouldn't you?

 

Twice The Love

A Review by Sterling

Twice the Love is a double vibration cock ring, only available in purple. Why is that?  Maybe guys object to pink?  Though I'm not sure my guy cared at all about the color.  It could have had flowers and rainbows on it and he would have liked it.  It came with its batteries (button cell batteries) which was nice.  The top looked like a little tiny ball sac.  It went on easily enough (love that stretchy material) but the ring could have been a little wider for a little more comfort.  The man says "there's always something good about having something tight around your cock that vibrates".  Enough said.  From a couples point of view, the vibrating was nice though could be kind of distracting.  I really appreciated that they made the top larger though as it made it easier for him to press it into me.  He reported a longer than normal orgasm which sounds promising.  The switches were kind of hard to find and the way they were set up was a bit of a challenge for anyone with big fingers but they were discreet and you couldn't accidently bump them off.  This is a toy that will probably get used again and again since it gives us both something a little extra.  This toy is also intermediate.

 

Wing Fling

A Review by Sterling 

Wing Fling is a Beginner toy.  It's a hands free, strap on, butterfly vibe.  It's a gorgeous dark purple.  The butterfly is kind of large and actually looks a bit more like a moth than a butterfly.  Not that this is relevant to if it will get you off or not, but if you're squeamish about moths maybe you would want to know that.  It has thin straps that hook around your waist and then around each leg.  The butterflies tail presses on your clit (at least that's how I had it set up....that could be wrong.  These things never come with instructions on ways to use them.  Or at least I haven't seen one yet...) and attaches to a short cord with a remote…except it's not really a remote since it has a cord.  Here's where I'm going to admit something very non 'sex' like of me.  I don't get the whole hands free thing.  I mean, what's the point?  The butterfly is too large to fit underneath your clothing.  I put it on and put underwear over it and it looked like I had a little penis. Not hot.  Unless that's your thing, in which case this is the toy for you.   Since the cord to the remote was only about three feet long, it really wasn't long enough to give to someone else unless they were sitting right next to you.  And if they're sitting right next to you holding a remote, they can damn well get busy with their hands on you too.  Right?

Okay, so maybe it's not a couple’s toy.  Maybe it's a solo expedition.  So I sat on the couch and turned that sucker up high.  And though it felt good, it felt good like when someone gives you a shoulder rub.  It's lovely, you want it to go on and on but it's not necessarily getting you to an orgasm.  For me, that's what happened with Wing Fling.  Maybe it's because I'm already at Intermediate toys?  I'm just too experienced for beginners!  I could see this kind of toy being awesome if it was a cordless remote or was discreet enough to wear out.  Now that would be kinky.  Then it would probably be more of an intermediate toy.  I wonder where does that fall on the ranking scale?  Expert? Intermediate? Extra Specially Kinky?

Overall I really liked the whole Hustler line and their concept.  I think the packaging is incredibly user friendly and updated.  Black and white is always in style.  The toys are high quality and user friendly and definitely something I would purchase for myself or for others.

 

TCB (Taking Care of Business) by California Exotic Novelties

A Review by Sterling

This little blue pocket rocket was small, waterproof and got the job done. It takes one AAA battery which is a little bit of a pain because who has those around the house?  I have at least 30 AA batteries but not even one AAA. Luckily, it came with it's own battery so until I wear the first one out, I'm covered.  I haven't tried the waterproof portion of this little cutie, but I'm sure it will work just fine in the tub. The size is nice for traveling and the sound was fairly discreet. The TCB has three speeds though there isn't a huge difference between the three.  Still, it was nice to be able to switch between them depending on what you were using it for.  It's mostly good for outside stimulation (and in fact, it's not recommended for internal stimulation or medical use...wha?  Medical use???  WTF?!) and does a nice job of spicing up some good ole intercourse with just the right amount of technology.  It's also a good couples toy since it is guaranteed not to make your man feel "less than".  I would recommend this little vibrator for couples play, single play and even a little butt buzzing. Again, not on the inside, just a little extra zing for the outside bits.

 

The Easy Ona-Cap Egg

A Review by Sterling

First off, this egg came with no English instructions, which led to googling, which led to hilarious product statements from the manufacturer such as “For women who are uncomfortable with performing oral sex to completion, when near the end, simply silde on a well-lubricated masturbator, and he will not even notice the difference. I don't know about your man, but mine could tell the difference, not that he didn't enjoy it, but The Easy Ona-Cap Egg does not equal mouth.  

That being said, the egg provided some nice stimulation and some interesting fun to start the night off. It looks like a white clown nose and comes in a cute little egg package (oh you Japanese!  Now where's the Hello Kitty Ona Egg?).  When asked to rate the performance of the egg right out of the gate, I was told it was an eight out of ten and better than a plain old hand job.  Overall though it was not even close to sex.  But let's face it, anyone who could be having sex is probably not going to be using the Ona Egg. Unless they're with me and I'm forcing them to test out Japanese Sex Toys.  It's a rough job, but somebody has to do it.  Sigh.  Back to work.  So I lubed up the old egg and put it on for him. It made squishy noises and kind of resembled a giant condom when stretched.  Sexy?  No, not really.  A good couples toy?  No, definitely not.  But a decent toy for a drunken solo hotel encounter?  Yeah, that would probably work.  However, my honey is like most guys in that respect and said that in the end he'd rather have sex with his girl or just lube up the hand and turn on some good old fashioned porn.  He did say that more testing is in order though (I'm thinking he liked it more than he let on) and that he would get back to me with a follow up report on how well the The Easy Ona-Cap Egg held up.

 

Adam & Eve Toys: Bum Buddies: Tease My Tush

A Review by Erika Icon

It’s orange and has the word “tush” in the title — definitely NOT two selling points. Apparently, it’s also available in bright red. Bum Buddies from Adam & Eve is supposed to be for beginners — in my opinion, it’s still a little large for virgin ass. Not exceedingly large, but a tad too big.

The width of 1.2 inches is perfect — it’s just the length of 3.5 inches that seems about ahalf-inch too big. You can use it as a sex toy to be fucked up the ass or walk around with it in your ass to “train” your ass (meaning you’re working your way up to bigger toys and/or bigger dick up your ass).

The fact that it’s “T” shaped does allow for it to easily fit in and stay in your ass. Well, if you want it to. The gradual tapering makes it easy to get in an out and this feature is missing on a lot of anal toys. Not only is it waterproof, but you can freeze it for a chill up there or microwave it for a little hot fun. But you can’t use silicone lube on it, even though it’s an anal toy — you need to use a water-based lube so it doesn’t destroy the toy.

With a name like Tease My tush, this is also a great gag gift or wedding shower gift. It’s bound to get a laugh. But if they actually use it, they will see it’s a great toy. And it’s under $20, so it’s definitely affordable. Go it one—you know you want one.

 

Adam & Eve Toys: Clit Dancer Waterproof Mini Massager

A Review by Erika Icon

First off, the Clint Dancer is pink, my favorite color. The Pocket Rocket has been done over so many times that it’s hard to reinvent it — but, leave it to Adam & Eve to find something. The massager comes with 4 attachments and a round tip, which is great for a little pussy play. The small nubbed one is great for some g-spot action. And the attachments are actually different enough that you can feel a whole new kind of Big “O” with each one.

Despite the fact that it says “Adam & Eve” on it in red, it’s actually very discreet. It can fit right in the make-up bag of your purse or in an evening bag. Well, that’s for the ladies. Men who like a small vibrator up the ass or in the taint area for some prostate pleasure will even like this one.

The toy uses only one AA battery, which is very cool. The only issue is that it only has one speed — most Pocket Rockets have multiple speeds that you can achieve by twisting the top. But the upside is that you won’t have to monkey with that. It’s also great for the bath — just be sure to not submerge it too long and water and let it dry out after cleaning it. It’s under $20 and a no-brainer to add to your collection.

 

Adam & Eve Toys: Head Gear BJ Strap

A Review by Erika Icon

Ladies, remember all those times that a guy pushed your head down when you gave him a blow job? Yeah, well Adam & eve’s Head Gear BJ Strap is the same idea, but gives him even more control, only this is way more comfortable on your neck. Basically, the guy holds it firmly behind the girl’s head — it is held in place with metal grips and it allows the guy to control the depth and pace and will keeps the girls face right where he wants it until the pop shot/money-maker moment.

The toy can also be shared with two gay men or two men using a strap-on. The faux leather is soft against the skin. This is the type of toy that is great for amateurs or beginners dabbling in domination. This is the type of toy a couple will definitely find ways to get creative with, like using a mouth full of Altoids with it (no, it’s not an urban legend).

For a girl like me who is the Queen of BJs (yes, I have a crown), this toy is kind of too amateur. The aesthetic is also a bit strange and it’s kind of like buying something off an infomercial that you don’t really need. Novelty yes — necessity no. It is under $20, so you’re not out a gang of cash if you do decide to go and pick one up. And like all toys, you will need to wash it with soap and water.

 

Adam & Eve Toys: Sinners’ Naughty Playtime Kit

A Review by Erika Icon

If you are a real dominatrix or have dabbled in domination, you will find Adam & Eve’s Sinners’ Naughty Playtime Kit rather outrageous. But, if you live in the Midwest having vanilla sex and want to “spice things up a bit,” then this is the fetish kit for you.

The kit comes with a blindfold, whip and feather tickler. The best part is that it’s my favorite colors — pink and black. The whip is tame and won’t really have you feeling pain even if the person using it on you has no skills. The feather tickler is cheesy and not nearly big enough. And, the blindfold is lined with faux silk, so it’s definitely comfortable on the eyes whether they are opened or closed.

This is a perfect bachelorette, 21^st birthday or friends who like in Podunk gift — will even work as a gag gift. Seriously, It’s under $15, so it’s no a huge investment. Anybody who knows anything about BDSM and/or fetish will laugh at this kit. I had a good laugh when it showed up in my mailbox. I’m a much bigger fan of the Sportsheets Beginner Dominatrix Kit that only comes with a mask, fishnet stockings and mini crop, but add in the wristbands and the collar and you become way beyond beginning fetishist. For a few more dollars, you’ll be much happier and so will the person who receives it as a gift. Crack the whip and find out.

 

Doc Johnson Toys: Twisted Hearts Lust

A Review by Erika Icon

This toy says it’s “designed by women for women” — although this may be a key selling point, it had me completely skeptical. Well, some of these women must be my girlfriends, because this toy actually rocked and rolled. It’s small and fits well in your hand — the rubber material that’s firm and soft and unusual heart-shape were great for getting a good grip and getting off. It was a nice orgasm that was slow yet fast.

The only downside was the dreaded AAA batteries — foiled again! Of course, there was a fieldtrip to Target. I guess that I will have to keep a stockpile since AAs are being used less in the adult toys. Sadly. The packaging is very girl-friendly — pink, black and white to match the lavender and white toy. And the rubber is phthalate-free, so you can feel safe with it in our outside of your pussy. Plus, it’s under $30, so it’s an affordable way to add to your own personal arsenal of toys. You might love it so much that it could be the top toy in your collection. Makes a great gift, as well.

 

Hustler Toys: Gossip Ring

A Review by Erika Icon

It might look like a cute little ring you by at Macy’s but this little rubber ring is a vibrator in disguise — well, to most people who aren’t porn aficionados. A woman can wear the Gossip Ring on her hand and pleasure herself or have her man go down on her and use the ring. Plus, it can double as a cock ring (well, if you can convince your man to put a purple rubber flower on his dick). You can also use it in the car when stuck in traffic, if you’re wearing a skirt ad preferably no underwear.

All these options were explored when I used this toy. The actual vibrations of the toy were quite small, considering that the ring was a decent size. Positive selling points about the toy are that it can be used in the bath, bends really well for good traction and orgasm abilities, and does come with the 1.4 volt size batteries it requires (I mean who has those laying around — certainly not me).

Overall, I was not impressed — this item is along the lines of the purple, rubber vibrating shower ducky. The toy is more of a novelty and would make an excellent bridesmaid gift or topper on top of another gift (especially for one of your uptight lady friends. The packaging is smart and chic, so it could be a gift in itself, as well. With a price tag of just under $25, you could definitely give it solo.

 

 

 

Hustler Toys: Naughty Pom Pom Vibrator Toy

 A Review by Erika Icon

Ok, I have to laugh. The Naughty Pom Pom Vibrator is red and really resembles a rocket ship. It’s supposed to be a vibe with pom pom material on the end for little rah, rah, rah in the bedroom. Use it on the outside as a g-spotter or insert it like a dildo. The pom poms make it easy to pull it out when the time comes. Outside of the fact of the pom poms, it’s just like any other vibe, except it is exceptionally long at just at 7.5 inches. It’s also really hard. It’s labeled as a “beginner” toy and I would agree with that if you don’t use it as a dildo, or even an anal toy (well, for the pros).

As a dildo, it might even be bigger than your man and will be a secret pleasure for you, for sure. Although it uses a pair of batteries, which isn’t something you would have laying around the house, it comes with them. The batteries that come with it don’t last for long, so you’ll want to stock up and have a back up if you really like this toy

Like all Hustler Toys it comes in the handy re-sealable package, which is great if you don’t have a toy box or yours is jam packed like mine. It’s under $25 which I reasonable for a vibe that can double as a dildo. If you can get past the hokey pom pom strings and red rhinestones, you’ll probably like this one for more reasons than one. Go, team, go.

 

 

 

Hustler Toys: Sinful Screw

 A Review by Erika Icon

Yet another anal toy to add to the reviews! I like these new Hustler toys a lot. First off, the name fits it perfectly and it very kitsch. The actual aesthetic of the toy along with the packaging is quite keen. It’s pretty ingenious that these toys come in a re-sealable pouch. You have somewhere that’s airtight and germ-free to store it (well, as long as you remember to clean it carefully and not put it back in the package until it’s 100% dry).

The Sinful Screw is nearly six inches, but you don’t have to put it all the way in — unless you can and you want to. The twists help it glide in easily and give you extra added pleasure sensitivity.  The bottom shaft is made so that’s easy to hold onto and insert whether you or your partner are doing the insertion. This toy is perfect for the beginner or advanced anal connoisseur, so it’s not a toy you will feel you need to replace anytime soon — that’s always the problem with beginning anal toys, unless they are sold as a graduated set. Also, it’s not too hard or soft — it’s just perfect. And for under $15, it’s a steal. I’m not a fan of most anal toys, but this one has won me own.

 

 

Pipedreams Toys: Lil’ Flutter Vibe

A Review by Erika Icon

One of the cool things about Pipedreams’ toys is the amazing packaging. I know that if I saw this in the store, I would have run right up to it with its Goth/angel packaging. It’s swirly and girly, too. It might only be a few inches high, but this little vibe is power-packed and will give you some amazing orgasms. And the actual toy is pink with a pink butterfly on top, but it also available in light blue. Drop it in your purse and be able to deal with rush hour better. Be brave and whip it out at work and be clandestine. The motor is so quiet and will definitely go undetected.

Seriously, you won’t believe how quiet it is. Which might not be the case with the noises you’ll make while orgasming with it. It’s waterproof, so you can take it in the spa or the shower. It’s under $15 so you can get one for yourself and one for your friend, or even get two for yourself so you have a back up. And make sure to have the AAA batteries on hand—yes, this is another toy that requires them. But fortunately, it only needs on battery that seems to last and last.

 

 

Delay Spray for Men by Adam & Eve

A Review by Erika Icon

This Adam & Eve product that’s exclusive to their website claims to have “more staying power than cock rings!” I would like to say that I think not. First off, it smells (it’s not odorless like the label claims)—it would be way better if it had a cologne scent that pretty much screamed “hot sexy man”. Secondly, it a desensitizing formula, which means once you spray it on your dick you feel nothing. That’s right, nothing. Using it reminded me of the time that my old boyfriend used Seika’s Anal Ease for a little butt play—the guy couldn’t feel his dick for hours. And, I didn’t really feel him in there—this product is pretty much the same idea. But, you can use it anally or vaginally. It is “flavorless” and “greaseless” like the packaging claims—I will agree with that. And even though it has a price tag of under $8, I would suggest you take that cash and invest in some rubber or other stretchy material type of cock ring that will be more effective and be able to be used over and over. Plus, you can’t have sex for 10 minutes after you spray it on your dick—looks like the only delay will be in actually having sex and you just might lose that woody.

 

Le Réve by Pipedream

A Review by Erika Icon

Le Réve means the dream in French. The packaging is quite amazing like all Pipedream toys, but when I actually opened the box I was a bit disappointed seeing this non-aesthetically pleasing vibe. It’s a curved g-spotter toy that I got in red, but it comes in black and white, as well. This toy looks so 80s and could misconstrued as a telephone from that time period.

Despite my initial concerns, this toy really surprised me. It has many speeds and you just push the plus or minus buttons to get there. Strangely, there is no on and off switches so you have to just keep turning the vibration down to turn it off. Additionally, it is far from being quiet. It is quite hard (the actual toy), but I was surprised that it did the trick and could be used inside or outside, plus on your tits or your male partner’s taint or the inside of his legs. There’s just so many ways you can use it. I will say that you need to use plenty of lube if you’re using it as a vibe on inside your pussy or outside on your clit. You should always use lube with toys, but with harder toys like this, it is definitely a must.

The under $30 price tag and sophisticated packaging will make it a great gift for yourself or your girlfriend. The sophisticated packaging makes it look like you spent twice as much. Sadly, this deluxe toy takes AAA batteries, which is one of my pet peeves. Fortunately, I had 2 left from the last time I had to purchase them. It is easy to install them and there’s no guesswork like with some toys, where you spend 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get the batteries in.

 

Lil’ Flutter Vibe by Pipedream

A Review by Erika Icon

Oh my God, it’s so cute and little and there’s a little butterfly on top of this pink mini vibe. And like all Pipedream packaging, it’s fantastic and this one seems raver-inspired with a touch of My Little Pony thrown in there. Really.

The size makes the vibe very convenient—you can toss it into your purse, hide it in your drawer at work (won’t it be fun when someone riffles through you desk and finds that), or even leave it by the bed and it will go undetected as a sex toy. And with the pink color, you’d think it would come with a Barbie doll or something.

Despite the small size, this tiny toy delivers the orgasms and in a big way. Also, it’s virtually silent, which makes it easier to use it anywhere and discreetly. You can sneak into the ladies room and give it a whirl—a great way to get rid of some midday stress in the corporate world, ladies.

With a $10-12 price range, it’s a steal for this little toy. If you give it as a gift, it looks really decadent and someone will think you spent a lot more than you really did. You might just want to buy a bunch and carry them around in your purse and give them to your girlfriends—it’s a great anxiety buster and bound to put a smile on your face. And it comes it purple and light blue/aqua.

 

Neon Jr. G-Spot Softees by Pipedream

A Review by Erika Icon

Many toys claim to be g-spotters, but fail to deliver. Pipedreams is completely honest about the name and the claim this toy makes. This toy comes in 6 colors, but I got it in yellow. It’s extremely bright (thus the “neon” in the name of the toy). Despite the fact it’s a “softee” toy, it’s rubbery on the outside but pretty hard on the inside. It would be nice it if were a bit more rubbery. But this miniature toy really gets the job done. I decided to be adventurous and took it in the shower—let’s just say that I left it in there and I really don’t care who sees it. I mean that purple vibrating duck wasn’t clandestine, so why not just be the freak that I am. The box says that you can take it into the hot tub but that just sounds like a bad idea, since they seem to be breeding grounds for fungus, mold and other scary types of nasty shit. I think I will pass on that adventure—the tub might be a better venue. This toy is small enough to fit nicely in a small purse and could be used during rush hour traffic to make it oh so much more bearable.

The cool part is that you can find it online for $10 or less. Affordable toys—nice! It’s a great stocking-stuffer for Christmas or Channukah. Or it could be a good little gift on top of a bigger gift (like a Pez taped to the top of another gift, only not a Pez). This is the first Pipedream toy that I have owned and I have to say that I’m impressed.

 

Perfectly Hot Pink Vibrator by Adam & Eve

A Review by Erika Icon

When I opened up the box and saw this all I could say was “wow”. Seriously, this is one big dildo/vibrator. I guarantee if your man sees this one, he will get jealous. Just stand it up on the black twist part on your nightstand by the bed and watch the envy begin—seriously, your man or FB might think a bigger, more accommodating and potentially quieter model has replaced him. It’s 7” long and 1.5” wide, like the perfect-sized man (well, for us size queens). The cool part is it’s made out of cybersilicone, which mimics skin and genuinely feels like real skin.  And the head is very flexible, so you can hit your “spot” quite nicely, thank you very much. You can use it as just a dildo but its fun to use it as a vibrating dildo or vibrator (for use on the outside/clit area) as well. This hot piece of man meat is great for deep penetration.

It takes 2 AA batteries, which is convenient. And it’s cute that’s a girly hot pink color. And apparently the cybersilicone surface makes it harder for bacteria and little particles to get stuck to it—this is definitely a plus, but it does not replace cleaning it with each use. I didn’t try it in the tub, but apparently it’s waterproof. I think it would be awesome to use in a bubble bath, because it’s just decadent like that. It’s almost $30 but considering its multiple uses and ability to get the job done more than satisfactorily, you won’t mind the price tag all that much. OK, I’ll be honest—run, don’t walk and get one of these on the Adam & Eve site or local toy store. Or if you’re a porn chick, add it to that wish list.

 

Plumb Crazy Vibrating Orgasm Balls by Adam & Eve

A Review by Erika Icon

I have always wanted some Ben Wa balls and this is the closest toy I have ever possessed to that. Cute contract girl, Bree Olsen, is on the front wearing a purple bikini to match the color of the toy—kind of ingenious. I will say the purple color did bring Miss Piggy of the Muppets fame to mind—not what you want to be thinking about when you’re about to have or trying to have the Big “O”.

The best part of this toy is there are multiple ways to use it—you get two one-inch diameter balls that are connected to a 20-inch cord that connects to the controller. You can put one ball in your ass and the other in your pussy—or put both balls in your pussy or ass. Just make sure you clean them well, if you shift the location of either or both balls. You also get four speeds on the controller—from light to heavy, depending on how much you can stand. It’s good to start out light and work your way up, changing the speeds—it’s a great way to tease yourself. Unlike ben wa balls, this toy is strictly for the bedroom. I have heard many a story of ladies venturing out with ben wa balls up inside of them and the balls fall out when they are on the escalator at the mall—an urban legend, I think not.

The toy can also be used on a man, if you can convince him to put one or both balls in his ass. Good luck with that one. It can also be used in the bathtub, which is always a plus.

I also liked that this toy took “AA” batteries that I have handy around the house. The noise level isn’t too loud, so it’s OK to give it a whirl, even if you have houseguests camped on your couch in the living room (that was my dilemma this week). The under $25 price tag is very reasonable—it’s a great gift for you or a nice bridal shower gift that’s more original than some sleazy lingerie.

 

Adam & Eve’s Prostate Pro 5

A Review by Erika Icon

I love it when I get toys in the mail for guys. My guy friends get all geeked. Remember my one friend that I gave the blow-up Bree Olsen Love Doll to? Well my same friend, The Pirate, scored yet again. I just want to say it’s not easy to give a man a prostate toy. The first response is always “this shit is for gay guys.” And then I inform them that this is so not true—the toy market for straight men has grown something like 400% in the last few years. Must be all the single lonely guys that are just tired of chasing tail or maybe they just can’t get enough. Who knows?

So according to The Pirate, the Prostate Pro 5 is pretty magical. The multi-speed controller is something I’ve personally never seen on a “P-Toy” and he agreed that it was cool. But, he also thought it reminded him of a vibrator. The toy forced him to do some research (which entailed calling me, (the former sex advice columnist) to learn about what the p-spot is. He liked that he could use it alone or with Miss Pirate (or his saucy on-the-side wench) and was able to have a big “O” with little to no work. Turning up the speed controller helped and moving it around in different positions until he got to the spot is what worked. He gave it a 4 out of 5 thumbs up and wants me to let you know that it’s so not gay and to go get one. Really. And he might be tempted to take it in the shower or bath, but probably not.

 

Adam & Eve’s Taffy Tickler Glow To Go

A Review by Erika Icon

When I saw this toy, I’ll admit I got more than a little happy. My first thought was it’s so small and I can use it in my car—it has a thing that you can just connect it up to your keychain. But then I was thinking everyone would know what it was if they saw it. Then I remembered that everyone knows I’m a freak and strangers can bite my butt if they see it and have some judgment.

The exciting thing about the toy is the batteries are already in there. Yep, three calculator batteries. I like it when I can open the package and go ahead and use the toy. I did bring it in the car and tried to discreetly use it in rush hour traffic. I don’t carry around lube, so I had to get excited on my own. I will say this little toy did not disappoint. The nubs were awesome and I love the pink and green raver colors. It also glows in the dark, which is cool because even though it’s small, I can always find it. And it definitely makes sitting in traffic much more pleasurable.

The only problem I had with this toy is that it takes three calculator batteries. They are expensive and not easy to get in correctly. Fortunately, it hasn’t needed a battery change, yet. Also, the $16.95 price tag seems a bit high for something so small and innocuous. It makes a great gift for a bachelorette party or for an uptight friend.

 

Pipedream Extreme’s Cum Sponge Masturbator

A Review by Erika Icon

Another guy toy. Masturbators are much easier to get guys to use. The Pirate got this one too. He saw “Celeste” on the cover and the giant close up of a pussy and a rabbit/vibrator and he was totally down to give it a spin. I don’t believe “Celeste” is an actual porn chick, but she is quite a naked hottie sucking on her index finger and playing with her vibe toy with her legs spread wide open.

Essentially, it’s a masturbator that is made of a sponge and meant to be disposed of after one use. It comes with lube that you oil it up with. Then, you look at the pic of “Celeste” (or form a mental one of some hottie in your head) and go to town. The Pirate tells me he lasted less than 10 minutes and his orgasm was pretty sweet. He thought about using it a second time, but didn’t want to wash it out or put the Little Pirate in there again without washing it.

The price tag is under $4, which is a good thing, since it’s supposed to be used only once. It would be nice to get multiple uses and it’s not the most environmentally conscious toy. It’s great for a gag gift at a bachelor party or to anonymously leave on your uptight boss’ desk for a little afternoon delight—just don’t get caught, because you’ll have some serious explaining to do. I’m sure they could also market this as a gay male toy, if they put some steamy, chiseled Latin guy on the cover instead.

 

Secret Diary of a Call Girl

By Anonymous - (Grand Central Publishing)

A Review by Erika Icon

“Secret Diary of a Call Girl” was originally titled “Belle de Jour” (or in English “Beauty of the Day/”) Although the HBO series is a hit, the book falls flat - I’m not sure how it became a “celebrated and steamy international bestseller” as it is touted on the cover.

Maybe I’m just a little jaded, but this book seemed really tame. Even though it’s written anonymously, there’s not much to remain anonymous about, unless this woman didn’t want her family and/or friends to know - and if that were the case she could have used a nom de plume.

I will say the first couple of chapters were pretty riveting, but it’s all down hill from there. It’s interesting that she got into the business by going home with a couple and the man slipped her a wad of cash, as her cab pulled away. I also find it interesting that despite her college education, she was unable to hold down a job, even as a receptionist or assistant. So, being a hooker or kept woman made sense, in her case. I also think it’s cool she’s bisexual and writes about that.

But overall, it seems like she’s hiding something. The stories of her clients and sexual exploits leave much (OK, a lot) to the imagination. It was kind of like reading the Eartha Kitt bio - you expect this woman to let you know all the dirt, but it’s more like a nun’s tale. Also, the plot line about her boyfriend (who she refers to as “The Boy”) and how that went down really isn’t believable. And the fact that her male friends have numbers and letter combinations (A1, A2, A3 and A4) instead of using even made up names makes it confusing as to who is who.

I paid full price for the book, which was $13.99 and definitely not worth it. I would suggest watching it on HBO, it is much more sexy and not a waste of time

 

Adam & Eve’s Bubble Plug

A Review by Erika Icon

When the package of toys to review came, I pulled this out first and was a little scared. It was in a giant box that was far larger than the actual toy. You’d think the thing was Godzilla-sized from the size of the box. When I took it out, I got happy.

Adam & Eve’s Bubble Plug has a 7-inch shaft which is nice in a man and in a toy. You can use either end—the bulb or graduated beads. It can be used in your ass or snatch. I tried the snatch. The ass would be better with a partner, which I didn’t have on the day I went to town with this little guy.

When you first take it in your hands you’ll love how it feels. I got turned on before I even used it with how soft, flexible and good it felt. I liked the graduated end because the bulb was good for a double orgasm of the clit kind. Yes. And, it’s black, which is nice for a little fantasy action. Being black, it’s very classy and if someone found it, it wouldn’t scream trouble since it’s not hot pink, I’m just saying…

It’s also waterproof, but I wouldn’t recommend any lube toy to be used in water, since the water can make the lube disappear. Trust me, it won’t be a disappearance that inspires magic.

Another use I would recommend is for gay men or guys that like a little more than a tongue up their ass. It will really get them off. Not a lot of toys outside of giant dildos for the men. But this toy could double for a man or a woman. You’ll want to clean it off after each use and/or insertion into new body parts. Keep it clean and everything will be OK.

The Bubble Plug toy is a little pricey at almost $25, but it’s unusual and not like anything else you’re likely to find in your local toy or adult shop.

 

Adam & Eve’s Double Delicious Mini Dual Dong

A Review by Erika Icon

What girl wouldn’t like a double-ended dong?!

Usually these toys are too long and huge to use alone, but not this one. That’s what the Adam & Eve’s Double Delicious Mini Dual Dong was intended for. I also like that the two ends are diametrically different — one is ribbed and the other is nubbed or bubbly. It’s flexible and very easy to orgasm with, which is a rarity about any toy (including vibrators) on the market.

I really liked the tactile feel of the toys, as well. It’s translucent and jelly-like. Seriously, I wanted to put it in my mouth and suck on it. I’m sure any man would love to see that trick after it’s been in my snatch. Or maybe I could get him to suck on it. But, I digress. Another great thing is it requires no batteries.

It says it’s waterproof, but I haven’t had a chance to use it in the bath — maybe another adventure. Although using toys in water that require lube is risky business/ Another thing I didn’t try was using this anally, which you can do. It might be a little large to start, so you might have to train your ass to accept a toy this size. Tthe beginning of the ribbed end could work as a start (it’s graduated in size and so is the bubbled end).

The under $20 price tag is great, too. You can get one for yourself or give it as a gift to your woman or your best friend at her bachlorette party (or if she’s in need of toys to pleasure herself because she’s got no man or prospects).

 

Adam & Eve Kayden Frosted Ice Silicone Cock Rings

A Review by Erika Icon 

Many guys think cock rings are gay and won’t even consider using them. I believe this a huge mistake. The cock rings can make a man last longer, have harder erections and if they have nubs or other extras, they can give the woman more of an orgasm. I believe it is orgasmic magic. But this also depends on the materials used to make a cock ring. Metal ones can be cold, hard to fit (depending on a guy’s size) and scary to the straight men.  Silicone or other stretchy material are amazing, it will fit most guys’ penises (unless they are teeny tiny or Godzilla-sized).

The Adam & Eve Kayden Frosted Ice Silicone Cock Rings are amazing. Not only are they silicone and super stretchy but they glow in the dark (woo hoo!). They are reusable and definitely flipped my switch (AKA my clit or super joy button) in the orgasm department. So, everybody is happy and that’s the key to sexual gratification for everyone.

Here is an important tip. If you’re guy who are new to cock rings, start out at five or 10 minutes. Once you become a pro, you’ll want to give your dick a rest after 20 minutes of use. And if you start using one of these, your woman might need a break after 20 minutes are hardcore sex.

At a price tag of less than $10, these are a great bargain and highly recommended. Way better than ponying up a wad of cash for Viagra or Cialis—or worse yet, having your babe laugh at you for being a 2 or 5- minute man. Seriously.

 

Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn

By Tera Patrick with Carrie Borzilla (Gotham Books)

A Review by Erika Icon

I have to admit, before I read “Sinner Takes All” I wasn’t a fan of Tera Patrick—she is an exotic beauty who seemed aloof, fake and too thin for tits that big. Despite a lot of whining that goes on, I felt the book was genuine, self-reflective and actually interesting. The weird thing was there were things in Patrick’s life that paralleled mine (dating someone famous who doesn’t appreciate you, depression, anxiety, etc.)—I never thought I would have anything in common with this woman.

“Sinner Takes All” is a short book—just shy of 300 pages and has tips on sex, marriage, how to sign a contract with a porn studio and more. I also liked how Evan Seinfeld, her ex-husband, wrote sections of the book as well.

I have to say that after reading the book (which took me less than a day), I had much more respect for Tera Patrick. Tera took herself from nothing to a major player in the industry and battled depression, anxiety, drugs and alcohol. And regarding the break-up of her marriage, I felt she wrote about it with class, dignity and grace—she could have really slammed him (and changed the book), but she chose the truth, instead. Plus, she seemed to show all the sides of him—good, bad and kind of ugly.

Of course the book has the “Cinderall Factor” with her whirlwind romance with Seinfeld, how quickly they got married, all the wonderful things he said to her and their multiple wedding ceremonies—this will either make you want to gag or give you hope. I chose the latter.

“Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn” is a good, easy read and a book you’ll want to take to bed with you.

 

Adam & Eve’s Wireless Personal Pleasurizer

A Review by Erika Icon

OK, first off, this toy is pink—that is a very good thing in a toy, for me. I love pink. And, it’s easy to find the toy in the bed or on the floor.

I’m so ready to pop the batteries in and give it a whirl. But, it takes AAA batteries—who has those lying around the house?! Not me. Toys should be AA, only. I had to trek to the store and forage for batteries, before the fun could begin.

After running out to buy four batteries (and the lady at the counter was trying to get me to buy more since they had a two-for-one deal—if only she really knew what the batteries were for), I lay down on the bed and was ready for some action. The toy is an odd shape (it looks like a weird vice grip, Venus Flytrap plant or something), but it was soft and pliable and I was able to maneuver it for the kind of “O” that one needs at the end of the day.

The Wireless Personal Pleasurizer toy retails for under $25 and is worth even more. It has a button to push for intensity (high, medium and low), which is much better than twisting the bottom, like you have to do with most vibrators. Seriously, this toy is going to potentially replace my all-time favorite Doc Johnson Lucid Dreams Vibe—and I never thought I would ever say that in a million years! Go get one! This toy gets10-plus stars.

 

Adam & Eve Anal Pleaser

A Review by Erika Icon

Adam & Eve’s Anal Pleaser is an amazing anal toy—why, because you can have insane hands-free fun. I have to say this is my favorite anal toy on the market—I may have to stock up and get multiples. The suction cup on the bottom allows you to adhere it to a surface (like a table) and go to town. You don’t need a partner—just lube it up (well) and play. Another great feature is the fact that it’s graduated—the top is small (3/4 of an inch) and it gets bigger (for a maximum of 1 ½ inches) towards the bottom. The soft jelly-like plastic makes it flexible and extremely pleasurable—who invented those hard ass toys anyways? You can make a game of using it and training your ass to be able to take the whole thing. The whole toy measures about 4 inches, so that’s some nice deep anal play for the anal professionals out there. If you and your man have been talking about trying anal—this toy will take you from beginner to pro. It’s a great toy to use solo or have a shared experience. But if you’re feeling really adventurous, you can also hook it into a strap-on and use it on your guy (or your girl). And, it’s under $15, so it’s really affordable. Wait are you waiting for? Go get yours now!

 

Adam & Eve Wicked Ponytail (Anal Plug with Rubber Flogger)

A Review by Erika Icon

Anal toys are always fun and this one is no exception. First off, the aesthetics are great—a black butt plug with a black and red whip. The plug itself is super soft and just the right size for pleasure and great for the anal novice who wants to jump into the world of anal (without a whole lot of pain). It’s also fun to walk around with it and have the tail hanging out of your ass—plus, it’s also fun to keep in while having sex and have your man pull it out later for a little extra pleasure (and you might have even forgotten it was there if the sex is hot enough). I didn’t try it in the bath yet, but it says it’s waterproof—and I’m sure that could be exciting, too. However you choose to play with it, just don’t forget the lube—anal lube is always best. The only letdown was the flogger. The flogger is a good way to pull it out of your ass, but I don’t recommend using it as a whip—it’s really short. You can, however, use it to tease a bit before it gets used for anal action. For under $20, the Wicked Ponytail is a good buy. And, it’s cute enough and makes a great gift for a bachelorette party. Invite me and I might explain how to use it.

 

Adam & Eve’s Cherry Glitter Dream Dildo

A Review by Erika Icon

First off, I have to say that I love the red glittery color—it made me happy just looking at. I couldn’t wait to use it. When I actually went to use it, I took it out of the package (which had 2 hot girls in Catholic school dresses and one was licking a lollipop to further get me excited) and was impressed with the quality—the jelly dong material, flexibility, hole to hold it (firmly) and g-spotter feature.

The Cherry Glitter Dream Dildo doesn’t just look good—it is a great toy. It’s a really good size (not to big, just right). It feels really good, almost real. And the g-spotter really is a nice touch and gives you that “extra bang” you’re looking for.  I did this little trick where I had the dildo inside of me, the clitoral nub by my clit and then I turned the vibrator on—talk about a Big O!

But vibrators aside, this did get me off, it’s an amazing toy. It’s also aesthically pleasing, soft to the touch (and one it’s inside of you) and gets you the orgasm you crave. It’s also just the right size—unless you date a porn star, this dildo is probably a little bigger than your man, which is perfect. Too many dildos are Godzilla-sized, but not this one. Thankfully. Also, at a price tag under $20, it’s a great buy. Toys are really expensive and tend to not last. This dildo seems to be well made and I hope it will go the distance and last and last, despite the fact it’s going to get a lot of use.

 

Adam & Eve Clitoral Kisser

A Review by Erika Icon

When it arrived in the mail, I had high hopes for this toy. Sadly, it let me down. First of all, it was nearly impossible for me to put the batteries in correctly (there’s no diagram inside to show you which direction the batteries go)—I had to get one of my guy friends who is a McGyver protégé to get it going for me. I even let him watch me use it—thanks, Todd.  And it uses the dreaded AAA batteries—fortunately, I had exactly 2 left.

So getting down to business…at first the vibe felt good on my clit, but after 10-plus minutes of working it, I was unable to get a good orgasm or the even the Big O. With a clit toy, that should always be something that automatically happens. I tried it on my bed, even though it says it’s waterproof—I can’t imagine it being any better in the tub. And, I’m not willing to try it, since it did nothing for me on land. (Insert pirate arrrgh here.)

Anyways, I don’t recommend this toy—if I were to give it a rating it would be one or two stars out of a possible 10 (and that’s being generous). If you have hours to monkey with this vibe, you might get an amazing orgasm. But who wants to wait that long—it’s like being with a clueless virgin who can barely find your pussy And with a $29.95 price tag, it’s really not worth it. Adam & Eve has a great selection of g-spot and clit vibes on their site and with most of them you can’t go wrong. I would say look there for something better.

 

Don Wands Treeze Wood Butt Plug

A Review by Erika Icon

A wooden butt plug — who would have thought it could ever be a reality?! And without splinters in your ass — yes, it’s true! It was an amazing shape and not too big or small (even though it’s considered large), plus it’s quite shockingly comfortable.

The wood grain design is a treat to view and one of my friends asked me if she could put it in her garden (well, that was before I put it in my ass —not that she would ever know after a good wash). I truly haven’t seen anything like this anywhere and was very impressed. If you’re looking to train your ass for anal sex, this would be a good item to purchase. It’s not always and easy feat and it’s a whole lot pleasurable with something like this.

The price tag is a bit high, about $40. But the quality and workmanship will give you quite a long time of pleasure, if you take care of it, thoroughly clean it after each use, use silicone or water-based lubes and store it in the handy padded pouch that comes with it. Enjoy!

 

Don Wands Treeze Wood Vibrator

A Review by Erika Icon

The idea of phthalates-free, eco friendly toys hasn’t been toyed with all that much. So, it’s about time that a product like this came around. A wood vibrator is a bit on the scary side, but this toy is ultra smooth and splinter-free. And the design of it is amazing — beautiful stained wood in multiple colors will make you want to display it as art rather than use it. Then again, I felt the same way about my Hello Kitty vibe, initially. And best of all, when the motor in the vibe goes, you can replace it — that’s worth many stars in my book and less waste in our landfills (where many dead sex toys go to die).

And, if all these things weren’t enough, the Treeze wood vibe has got some awesome ridges in it, which will double your pleasure many times over. And the Wet Lube included was a nice touch. When I was done, I put it in the decadent padded pouch and neatly slipped it under my bed for further adventures. Rarely am I blown over by a sex toy, but this is definitely one of those times. The only downside to this toy is the price, almost $80. But, if you think of how long it will last and not need to be replaced, the price tag makes sense.

 

Adam & Eve’s Cyberskin Dual Slider

A Review by Erika Icon

Most cock rings are only for the shaft, but this one covers your dick and balls while giving your female a little rise of her own. The design of the Cyberskin Dual Slider is a bit confusing, so it’s a really good thing that there was a good-sized photo on the back of the package.

It claims to “please both partners equally” — I disagree with that completely. Why, because it really didn’t do much for me. And, it displeased my partner that he had to sit and connect the dots as to how to get this bad boy on. The top bullet was for me and the bottom one was for his balls — it’s a pretty lame vibration on both ends, not “toe curling” as the package claims. Whoever writes the copy for these toys is a genius.

It’s also really annoying when you go to replace the batteries — each of the vibes (there are two) require 3 watch batteries each. I will say the packaging is nice, the look of the toy and color are quite keen and it is easy to clean. Outside of that, it’s not really worth the almost $30 price tag.

 

Adam & Eve’s Bree Olson Kitten With A Whip

A Review by Erika Icon

I looked at the box and thought “aw, how cute,” but this little kit is serious, naughty business. The whip is pretty fierce and has a good, sharp snap when it’s used. I was thinking it was going to be quite whimpy. Plus, the strap makes it easier to hold and control. Of course, operator skill is important, too. The blindfold is very comfortable, satin-lined and has two straps which keep it on your face during the action (and also is good for sleeping). Plus, the aesthetic of both items is quite nice — purple brocade is pretty plush.

This would definitely be termed a “beginner’s BDSM set”. If this is you and you’d like to experiment with a little spanking and domination, this is a good starting place.. If you want to be involved in this lifestyle, you’ll want to add paddles, a real cat ‘o nine tails and other devices, at some point.

Bondage purists will laugh at this kit, but vanilla couples will be totally into it, especially with a price point of under $25. I’m sure this will fly off the physical and preverbal Internet shelves — just watch.

 

The Blowguard

A Review by Erika Icon

When this toy came in the mail, I was all what the fuck? Being the Queen on BJ (yes, I have a crown), my first thought was what was the need. If you’re not good at oral, it’s not going to help you. But if you are looking for something a little extra, this puppy could be just the ticket you’re looking for. It’s under $30, so you if you don’t like it, you won’t be blowing a mint to purchase it.

The blowguard can be used on a man or woman one on one or in a 69 position—I know this because I checked out their site with the very informative x-rated video.  I tried it with a pretty famous director and he wasn’t impressed — I thought it was OK. Maybe, we’re spoiled and are used to mind-blowing oral. It also feels awkward in your mouth, since it doesn’t exactly mold to your teeth/gums. It was invented by a dentist, so the retainer and mini bullet won’t crack your teeth (this was a huge concern with me). The clean-up is easy — wash it with soap and water like any other toy.

Despite all the hype, I wasn’t impressed and doubt it will be a permanent part of my sexual repertoire. It doesn’t live up to the tagline of “taking the job out of blowjobs”.

 

The Anal Sex Position Guide: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure

Author: Tristan Taormino

Publisher: Quiver

A Review by Troy Michael

Award winning author, columnist, editor, and sex educator, Tristan Taormino has recently released her fourth book “The Anal Sex Position Guide: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, and Mind-Blowing Pleasure.” The first thing you will notice about this book is how colorful and well laid out it is with its text and beautiful artistic images.

Once you delve into this book about anal sex, which was once a hush hush topic, and for some it still is, it is a fun and informative read. The book is broken down into several chapters/positions, including anal sex for men, and features a pro and con list for said positions. Not only does Taormino break everything down for you, she writes in the perfect style to make a person feel comfortable, which makes the book not only beneficial to people who are entertaining the anal sex idea, but to the ones who are active in anal sex already.

There is a plenty of educational information here but Taormino doesn’t make it intimidating or embarrassing, two topics which rise to the surface when people speak about anal sex.

With more celebrities coming out saying they like anal sex like Anne Hathaway and Denise Richards to name a few, the sex act is becoming more accepted, which makes “The Anal Sex Position Guide: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure” a perfect tutorial for all those ready to take the leap or want to learn about the sexual practice of safe anal sex.

 

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating & Sustaining Open Relationships

Author: Tristan Taormino

Company: Cleis Press

A Review by Erika Icon

When I received this book in the mail, I had to roll my eyes. Although I work in the industry and am very open-minded and highly sexually charged, I’m not into open relationships. Little did I know I had participated in that lifestyle in the past — dating and sleeping with multiple people and not wanting to be serious counts as an open relationship.

Wow, was that a slap in the face. Outside of that, this was definitely not my lifestyle, but I have a huge respect for Tristan Taormino, so I was willing to hear what she had to say on the topic. Taormino herself has been in an open relationship for the last seven years, so I guess that makes her a bit of an expert. That, and the fact that she interviewed a plethora of people and gave them surveys to complete.

The best part about “Opening Up” is Taormino looks at everything from all angles. She begins by telling you reasons not to be involved in this type of lifestyle with chapter three addressing if an open relationship is for you or not. She asks you why you want it and reasons you shouldn’t enter into one. She even spells out the hidden motives. Additionally she covers the different types of relationships including swinging (going with your partner to social events and having sex with other women and/or couples), polyamory (having a primary partner, but having relations with others), solo polyamory (the category I fell under), polyfidelity (multiple members living together) and having a relationship where one partner is monogamous and the other is non-monogamous. And if you decide you want to live this lifestyle, she discusses the pitfalls (jealousy, possessiveness, resentment), safe sex, when things change and designing your relationship (rules, contracts, frequency, geography, etc.).

By the time you finish “Opening Up,” you will know if this is something you want to try this lifestyle. It’s not for the weak at heart or those of us who have been conditioned to believe monogamous relationships are the norm. Personally, I had a long term relationship with a man and we had encounters with more than a few women—this led him to believe it was OK to cheat. Yes, we should have had more boundaries. But, trying to be with more than one person at a time when you’re in a serious relationship is asking for trouble. I think I’ll prefer to believe in Tinkerbelle and that monogamy with one man can be my future. It’s definitely worth the read — you will learn something about relationships and how to make them work.

 

Adam & Eve’s Sexy Shooter Dildo

A Review by Erika Icon

Are you a cum fanatic? If you are, you will love this toy. I had to laugh when it arrived in the mail. Most girls want nothing to do with a guy’s jizz, even the porn chicks. Adam & Eve’s Sexy Shooter is a great dildo—it’s the perfect size of 6 inches (as in not a Godzilla dong, like so many other dildos) and it’s jelly-like soft (but still hard enough) and stretchy. As a dildo, it’s the tops and lives up to “realistic penis head with a ribbed shaft for extra sensation.” I filled it up with water and I don’t think it “squirted at just the right moment” like the box says. Otherwise, it would have cum when I did.

You have to manually squeeze the bulb at the bottom—it doesn’t do this action on its own volition. And, when I’m orgasming big time, I don’t want to have to think about anything else. Know what I mean? You can fill it up with lube, like the informative box suggests, but that could be quite messy. The cleanup of this toy is also a hassle—you not only have to clean the outside, but the inside (shaft and all). Plus, it has to dry in separate pieces.

I think this toy would be a good gift for a bachelorette party—it’s more of a gag gift than anything else, maybe, because it has that “novelty” thing about it. And, it will definitely get a snicker or two from other party goers—well, the women who aren’t frigid and pent up, but the look of horror on their faces will be fun, too. Plus, it’s under $30, so it’s not expensive. I think this might be a hit with gay guys, too. But, I’ll have to do some research on that one…

 

The Flesh Light

A Review by Troy

You’ve seen it endorsed by “The Flesh Light Girls” aka porn performers, and the toy was even referenced in the major motion picture Zack and Miri Make a Porno. It’s no wonder that the Flesh Light is the top selling sex toy with over two million sold. I don’t know if I would call the male masturbator revolutionary, but it is cool and serves its purpose.  With the option to build your own, there are over 100 coronations to suit your tastes of getting off.

When we got the discreet box from the Flesh Light gang, it contained the Pearl Case with the original vagina sleeve. On the website, it is described “Our best selling masturbation sleeve and a must have for first-time buyers, the Original offers a smooth, slightly wider canal that won't send you over the edge too soon.” The 10” long, ¾” canal diameter is soft and durable, but I was really surprised how heavy and bulky it was, even out of the plastic case.  The first time I used it I was like “this is it?” I didn’t know what all the hype was about. However after a couple more times it got better each time.

The Flesh Light is a personal sex toy and the ability to change the sleeves is a really ingenious idea, but I don’t know if warrants all the hype it is getting. Don’t get me wrong, it feels good, it gets you off, but I couldn’t be like some of the guys on the Flesh Light website using it multiple times a day or week and professing their undying love for it.

 

Adam & Eve Pink Lips Pussy Stroker

A Review by Troy

We finally get a toy for the fella’s from Adam & Eve with their latest Cyberskin treat called Pink Lips Pussy Stroker.  When we first got the package it sparked my interest and at first glance I thought there was no way my cock would fit in the tiny little pin hole just past the initial pink pussy.

The Cyberskin is very soft and easy to handle unless you get lube on the outside and you are trying to grip it. Trust me. You will need the lube to fit your hard dick past the pussy lips. Once you do, it has a soft sensation tight enough to grip your cock with every pump. The hypoallergenic and latex-free Cyberskin measures in at seven inches, so if you are an average sized male you are good to go, but it seems smaller to me. There is also a small hole at the back end, which if you a big cummer, it will overflow or fly out the back. Obviously, if you are well hung, you will need a little more room (see Flesh Light review above), but for the most part the soft ribbed walls milk your cock nicely.

The cleanup is simple and easy, thanks to both open ends and at just under 30 bucks it is a good deal to get you off.

 

Bree Olsen Glitter Glam Strap-On Harness & Dong

A Review by Erika Icon

OK, I’ll admit it—when I got this in the mail, I did a little dance. I have ALWAYS wanted to try a strap on and compare it to a “real” dick. This set is really nice—the dong is sparkly with glitter and it’s a jelly dong. It’s soft but firm and really gets the job done (but, more about that later). I was a little weirded out by the purple color of both the harness and dong, but I got over that pretty quickly (just had to get rid of the Miss Piggy visions, who was a big lover of purple). The harness goes from really small to big, which is great for the BBW crowd and the anorexic model types.

I’m sure you want to know how I tested it.  After placing an ad for a couple on a site owned by a man named Craig, this very hot couple showed up on my doorstep. Of course, there were drinks and then onto the bedroom. She rode me pretty hard with it and I was impressed with her beginner skills (it was the first time for both of us, using a strap-on). Her boyfriend watched and then got into the action. This is one of the best toys I have ever used and you should definitely run right out and get one. With a $39.95 price tag, it’s a steal. And if sex with a woman scares you, try using it on your boyfriend’s ass. According to Details magazine, a good percentage of men will admit to liking women play with their ass. Of course, they would never admit this to us women in person. Try experimenting either way—you will be glad you did! It might even replace having a man for you. Kidding.

 

Adam & Eve’s Essentials Toy Cleaner

A Review by Erika Icon

I’m very naughty and I will admit it—I’m talking about cleaning my toys. It’s a simple fact that you should be using something to clean you toys so you don’t get bacteria and/or an infection from using and/or sharing your toys with others. Like most of the population, I’m lazy and will use a toy sometimes 2 and 3 times before cleaning it. I know, ewwww. But, A&E’s Essentials Toy Cleaner is a no-brainer. Spray the toy and wipe it down with a towel. It’s almost too easy. And, you can use it on any kind of toy—rubber, glass, plastic, etc.

What I liked was it’s not oily and the smell is pretty non-existent (no florals or alcohol here). It’s a decent size and almost stealthy (like you could put it in your medicine cabinet or on your nightstand and no one would be any wiser). Also, using this is way better than putting your toys in the sink and washing them—not just for the lazy factor, but too much water can actually destroy your toys. Really.  For $6.95, there are many reasons (re-read above, because there will be a quiz) as to why you should buy this product.

 

Adam & Eve’s Prostate Massager

A Review by Erika Icon

Men are very resistant to toys, even if they’re going to get them off. I asked a few of my male friends to try this and report back—and, I’ve never seen a man bolt away from me so quickly. Luckily Mr. H (he wants to remain anonymous), took a gamble on this vibrating toy. As I handed it to him, we both marveled at how much it looked like a regular old vibrator. And, it could probably double as that, if you and your girl wanted to share this toy. Make sure you wash it off, first, before exchange it back and forth.

Mr. H reported back that it was an excellent vibe and ride—he enjoyed the varying speeds but wasn’t into the nylon cords that just kept getting in the way. He used it in the perineum area between the balls and ass, choosing not to put it in his ass—either use will work, but getting a man to put anything up his ass is as effective as asking him to take out the trash. Well, it’s true. Mr. H said he would use it again in the future, but it would never replace women in his life. Yes, sex is his only vice. 

The Prostate Massager usually sells for $14.95, but Adam & Eve has a deal for $9.95 right now. If you want to get one for your man, I would suggest the element of surprise. Tell him to close his eyes, whip it out and use it in the perineum area. Once he gets a load of the mind-blowing orgasm, maybe you can negotiate ass use. Good luck!

 

Adam & Eve’s Inflatable Position Master

A Review by Erika Icon

You can get pretty creative with this toy. One of my fuck buddies and I used the Inflatable Position Master and he bound my hands when we used it. He used the handles on the edges to attach the restraints to. I also put on the free black mask that came with it. It’s very soft and you’d never know it was inflatable to start with (not like those cheesy beds that hurt your back). When we switched and I got on top, he put it behind his back. Although we were on the bed, it has a whole other comfort level.

 There a like a million positions you can do with this toy and several of them are actually pictured on the box. It would be nice if the guy and girl on the box came with it—but, I digress…this toy is worth the $29.95 price tag, but Adam & Eve are selling it for $24.95 these days. You can deflate it and take it with you on trips (and it’s discreet) or keep it lying around the house or under the bed. Go figure, a practical and useful toy! Go get one. Now!

 

Adam & Eve’s Bree Olson Rawhide Hottie Doll

A Review by Erika Icon

Blow-up dolls can be one man’s fantasy while at the same time being the butt of a comedian’s jokes. I have always wanted one, but of course, they’re for men. Imagine my surprise when the Bree Olson Rawhide Hottie Doll appeared in my mailbox.

I want to let you know this is one of the best representations of a porn star in doll form—she has a face that looks just like Miss Olson (it’s some keen graphics here). It’s not exact, but if you squint or slightly close your eyes, you will really believe you are fucking Bree. She also has what is labeled on the box as “extra hard life-like hard nipples—I’d have to agree with this one, as I got a handful of one of her breasts and became a little excited. And the accessories…this doll comes with a removable halter top, skirt and cowgirl hat—you can actually undress your hottie and have your way with her.

For the actual fuckability of the doll, I gave her to my friend, Pirate Pete. After a little 3-hole action, he informed me that her holes are indeed tight, but are catered for a penis no larger than 2 inches (not being able to get your dick all the way in is a common problem in love dolls). He can now tell his friends that he has straddled Bree Olson’s pussy with a straight face. And, he’s fallen madly in love with her and drives around in his classic Mercedes with her in the passenger seat and brought her to a party as his date (all the guys were jealous).

With a $39.95 price tag, you’ll want to pick the Bree Olson Rawhide Hottie Doll for yourself or bring it to the next bachelor party you attend. It’s the must-have toy for men. But, don’t forget the lube—you’ll need it! Doll also comes with a patch repair kit (include you spring a leak) and detailed instructions on its use and cleaning. Get yours today.

 

Adam & Eve’s Temptations Couples’ Thong

A Review by Erika Icon

Over the last 10 years, the thong has come to symbolize smoldering sexuality for women. Adam & Eve have taken the thing to new heights with their unique faux leather/pleather Temptations Couples’ Thong.

The thong is adjustable but it only will fit a woman who is about a size large. Sadly, I’m a smallish BBW, so it wasn’t very comfortable for me to wear. But, the pleasure of the double set of beads on my labia and rubbing against my man’s shaft made me forget all about the physical comfort level. The double beads are amazing and replace the crotch area with a new level of fun. It’s well constructed and should give you both many hours of pleasure, so you can cum and cum again. It was an easy clean-up and ready for reuse, which is always a plus in any sex accessory.

If you are a guy, this is a toy you should pick up not only for your girl, but for you, too. Yes, there are toys that can provide pleasure for you both—not to mention it will look pretty hot on your woman. And at a $14.95 price, it won’t break the bank. Right now Adam & Eve are featuring it on their website for $9.95—saving you $5 you can use towards lube (which you will need for this item).

 

Adam & Eve’s Do Me Ducky

Review by Erika Icon

Sometimes waterproof toys are a waste of time—they’re toys you would only use in the bedroom and never in the tub. But with Do Me Ducky, this is definitely not the case. I have always wanted one of these ducks and wasn’t disappointed.

I liked the varying speeds and the flexibility/rubbery quality of the duck itself. There weren’t any instructions (not that I needed them), so I assumed it was a case of sticking the duck’s head in me (or the whole duck)—I went for the head. It took me awhile to get off, but I got there. I always go for the quick “O” but I think this is supposed to be a toy that you relax with while chilling in the tub. So, no fowl there.

Of course, there were a few issues with the duck. First off, it uses 3 AAA batteries, which is odd—most toys use AA’s. So, I had to go out and buy some batteries before using my new little friend. Secondly, it says it’s “adorably discreet” on the package—that might have been the case if it was yellow (not purple) and didn’t have the battery cover coming out it’s duck ass. If I saw the thing in someone else’s tub, I would know the deal—the cover lets you know it’s turbo charged. And lastly, the little guy smells rubbery and it takes awhile to get rid of the scent, because even after you air it out, it lingers.

The toy is cute, a great gift and a stellar deal at a retail price of $19.95. If you choose to give to the girls you love this holiday season, it will give stuffing a stocking a whole new meaning. Get yours today at adameve.com and happy ducking!

 

Adam & Eve’s My Clitoral Hummer

A Review by Erika Icon

I loved this toy! I popped the 2 double “A” batteries in and was really to rock and roll. Not only is it red and velvety-soft, but it’s lightweight and really hit the spot (literally). I was able to quickly hit my spot and have an amazing orgasm (and I even squirted). And, you can’t say that about too many toys on the market. The range of speeds was nice, as well—it’s very powerful, so you won’t need to turn it up all the way. I tried it in the bed and in the tub and liked it in bed best (like most things). This is the type of toy that I would use on a daily basis and with a price point under $30, it’s worth every penny. I highly recommend this if you like G-Spot toys and the rise they can give you.

 

 

 

Adam & Eve’s White Rabbit

A Review by Erika Icon

My big complaint about rabbits is that they are too big. Are toy manufacturers making toys for Godzilla?! I mean really. This toy is just the right size and it wasn’t too hard. When I used it, it felt like a guy’s dick was in me and he was using his fingers to play with my clit. Imagine a toy that actually simulates sex and successfully?! I got a very nice orgasm, as well. It wasn’t instantaneous, but working your way up to the “Big O” is a nice treat and half the fun is getting there. The speeds were also nice—I liked moving up and down the dial to tease myself. This toy is made really well and should definitely last. I really hope it will—it’s going to the top of my toy box. Really. Oh, one last thing…the aesthetic of the toy is also very pleasing—the iridescent white color and style of the toy definitely stands out.

 

Helping Hand Vibe G Spot Vibrator

A Review by Erika Icon

When I first saw the Helping Hand Vibe G Spot Vibrator it kind of freaked me out. It reminds me of the old metal hook hand prosthetics or some sort of torture device out the Saw movies. All of that aside, this blue jelly vibe does have a sense of sexual purpose with its two fingers on this unique vibe. The two jelly fingers are designed to slide inside the pussy to hit the G-spot. And with the multi-speed vibrator it brings a little extra added stimulation to the fold. While two-fingers deep on the G-spot the jelly toy has a “nubbed thumb” to use on the clit to add even more pleasure. The six-inch fingered toy requires two double0A batteries for the vibe and is very easy to maintain and keep clean. For $19.95, this very unique toy has a wide variety of uses if you put your imagination to use and it also does the trick for its intent.

 

 

Cyberskin 3-Way Thriller

A Review by Erika Icon

This bendable three-way dildo comes to us from Adam & Eve. The colorful green multipurpose toy has a curved shape for the ladies and their beloved G-spot, which hit the spot just right. There is also a knobby “clit brusher” to stimulate the clit while working the toy vaginally. Finally the handle can be turned around and used as a ribbed anal teaser for those who like a little more to their pleasure in the bedroom. If you are really inventive and turned on I am sure you can find many more uses for this toy to get you off.

For $29.95, Adam & Eve deliver with this little green monster to give the user plenty of anal and pussy pleasure. The cyberskin material covers a bendable spine which locks the toy into play for just about any position you want to use it in. You might be surprised by the weight of this 10-inch long and nearly two-inch around toy that is hypo-allergenic and latex-free.

 

 

Fingertip Massager

At first glance at this fingertip massager from Adam & Eve it looks like one of those heart rate monitors they put on your finger at the hospital. And in all actuality, maybe that’s where they got this idea for this little power packed device. The Adam & Eve Fingertip Massager is originally $19.95, but with their summer sale it is now $17.95 and well worth the purchase. The powerful vibrating finger device has an adjustable strap to fit any type of finger and has five different attachments for several different sensations.

The toy takes two watch batteries and has the power of a pocket rocket if not better. My only complaint about the finger tip massager is it isn’t flexible. It is more like a finger splint when you have it on. That aside, the possibilities are endless and if you have five of these Adam & Eve Fingertip Massager (one on each finger), that would make for some serious overload pleasure for you and your partner.

 

Twin Mini Bullets

These Twin Mini Bullets run $24.95 and are an Adam & Eve exclusive. The small waterproof packs quite the power for just two inches long. They work really well for extra added internal and external stimulation for her with a handy controller for solo or couple play. The nice thing about this vibrating pocket pleasure device is that the bullets and controller are covered in soft, velvety waterproof skin with a 30-inch cord. At first the Twin Mini Bullets come off great, but over prolonged use they seem to lose their luster in pleasure and power.

 

 

 

Temptations Passion Lily

A Review by Erika Icon

With the tagline “Flowers Are a Clit’s Best Friend,” Adam & Eve offers up this very unique adult toy they have dubbed Temptations Passion Lilly. The tip of the red jelly toy is made to resemble a water lily complete with petals and a center pistolette. The seven-inch vibe is designed to tickle and tease while you select from three speeds on the one-touch button. I was really surprised by how squishy the jelly material was for this toy when I took it out of the box. I don’t see this being a toy to get the girls off with its unique and somewhat weird shape, but to tease the clit might work better for the users. If you are curious, this might be a new toy for your collection but if you are looking for something to do the job quick and easy, look elsewhere. The 7-inch long and 1 ½-inch wide waterproof toy takes two AA batteries and is priced at $29.95. You can find the toy at the Adam & Eve online store.
 

Adam & Eve's Ultimate Anal Lube

Adam & Eve says on their website that they have sold over 20,000 bottles of their Ultimate Anal Lube and that is pretty impressive if you think of that in gallons of lube. The anal lover’s favorite product is thick to add long lasting anal sex and it is also safe to use with most condoms and other sex toys. If you are thinking about doing anal sex or are an anal novice Adam & Eve's Ultimate Anal Lube is perfect to ease your worries when you ease cocks and toys in your ass. The lube is slippery and thin based so when you use it, you will not have to apply very much, so be careful if you are a first time user. A little goes along way, that’s how well it works. Everyone’s body, including their ass is different. This might not be for you, but for the majority Adam & Eve’s Ultimate Anal Lube does the trick. And at $12.95 for four ounces that goes the extra mile, you really can’t help but give it a try. You can find the toy at the Adam & Eve online store.

 

 

Adam & Eve's Slim Pink Pleaser

The small time vibe from Adam & Eve is called the Eve’s Slim Pink Pleasure. It is perfect for those who are buying their first vibrating sex toy or for those looking for a little extra pleasure in the tight spots. The slim 7-inch pink vibrator is 1-inch in diameter and is waterproof for those who enjoy doing more than getting clean in the shower or bathtub. With its small size, soft feel and nice vibrating speed, the Slim Pink Pleasure is good for at home action or for those who are on the go, or should I say, stuck in rush hour traffic. The vibe had a little trouble of breaking easily when it first came out but Adam & Eve has seemed to rectify that problem. Eve's Slim Pink Pleaser is made of jelly material, takes two AA batteries and costs cost $19.95. You can find the toy at the Adam & Eve online store.

 

 

 

Heart’s Delight Glass Dildo

This glass sex toy is one of the most unique you will find at Adam & Eve. With its characteristic Heart-Shaped Handle it gives the user nice control when you are looking to hit that special spot. The rounded tip is great to get that G-Spot or prostate of your lover. The glass toy is very slick when adding lube and also can be heated up or frozen, depending on your pleasures. The toy is hand made from blown glass, and sizes up at 7-inches from tip to the heart tip and is 1-inch around. With its hard and smooth exterior, customers have raved about hitting the perfect spot to make them gush and squirt their fluids. The handle can also be used for clitoral stimulation. The Heart’s Delight Glass Dildo costs $34.95 and you can find the toy at the Adam & Eve online store.

 

 

Sword Of Love Anal Dildo

With the popularity of the Pirates of the Caribbean series and the adult film Pirates and soon to be the sequel, Adam & Eve has marked the occasion with an anal dildo sword for all the land lovers. Cutely titled, the Sword of Love, this flesh-colored adult toy is made from of soft but firm SensaFirm material that gets super-slick when lubricated. The toy, which measures in at 7-inches long has a couple of different uses with its cock inspired shaft for anal use to hit the prostrate or G-spot to make your timbers shiver. The handle can also be put in to action with its ribbed grip handle to give you extra pleasure. The Sword Of Love Anal Dildo costs $34.95 and you can find the toy at the Adam & Eve online store.