The Ultimate Guide to Kink, BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge
Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press)
Reviewed By: Troy Michael
Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor,
filmmaker, and sex educator. She has been featured in more than
400 publications – You could find her writing in anywhere from
Yale Journal of Law to Feminism to Penthouse.
Though her seventh book – “The Ultimate Guide to Kink, BDSM,
Role Play and the Erotic Edge” – may sound like a sex manual, it
is far from it. Taormino didn’t go this alone, no not at all,
she brought in several tastemakers of the kink world to give
their thoughts on the subject, tell stories and give a little
advice along the way. Some of these guest writers include Laura
Califia, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Midori,
Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, and one of my personal
favorites - Madison Young, just to name a few
At just under 500 pages, the trade paperback book gives you
everything you need and more. Whether you are a novice or are a
longtime fan of kinky sex – It’s all covered here. Along with
the tutorials are beautifully written essay’s discussing
eroticism and the power of pleasure. The large print is a nice
touch but I with the accompanying images was erotic photographs
opposed to drawings.
Tristan Taormino, along with her peers have given you more than
just the nuts and bolts of kinky sex, they have given you the
whole damn tool box with “The Ultimate Guide to Kink.” No matter
if you are a beginning looking to spice up your sex life with a
little experimentation or you have been playing in the world of
kink for years, this book is a must read. In fact, the book
should remain on your nightstand in your bedroom. “The Ultimate
Guide to Kink” will become your bible when it comes to sex. Amen
Fifty Shades of Grey
E. L. James (Vintage)
Reviewed By: Lauren Smith
First of all let me say that the subject matter of the book that
has become the horny suburban housewife sensation, “Fifty Shades
of Grey” by E. L. James is not the issue…it’s the terrible
writing. Seriously. I was really excited by the idea of reading
something erotic and hot, on a subject–bondage, that has only
recently piqued my interest. The idea of reading a novel devoted
to nothing but a kinky young woman’s coming of age story seemed
brilliant, and much welcome…something to break through our
modern-Victorian sensibility regarding anything other than
“vanilla” sex. Bravo. We need that…shake things up a bit. For
the mere fact that this piece of crap has risen to the surface
gives me hope that the United States might be ready for the
Progressive Sexual movement that has crawled up the ass of
Conservatism without their permission. They are hating it (who
enjoys getting covered with “Santorum,” right?)…and loving it
because it’s so damned *taboo* Nothing makes a Conservative
happier than feeling like they are getting away with something
sordid and illicit….as long as the neighbors and their fellow
parishioners never find out. Certainly sexual enjoyment without
shame is absolutely out of the question. Let’s spank some ass
and get down to brass tacks here.
The main character, young college graduate Anastasia is poorly
built. I could never get to what her true motivation was. She’s
a driven, somewhat beautiful on-her-way young lady. Sure, she
was a virgin when she met the insanely rich, entitled fuck,
stalker-ish, unbelievably handsome Christian Grey. Thrown into
circumstances by her best friend to interview him, she never
would have met him otherwise–he’s an elusive billionaire. She
intrigues him with her smart, funny and independent personality.
So far out her league that he’s in another social zip code,
completely unobtainable to her. Ever. You see, we all want to
break into the upper-echelon of wealth and moral depravity.
Apparently any woman of intelligence will drop her panties at
the prospect of being the possession of a filthy-rich fuckhead.
Unfortunately this isn’t news to me. That’s my biggest problem
with this book, it doesn’t give anything but lip-service to
embracing the idea of the truly sexually free woman. She does
what she does because HE wants her to do it, not because she has
a deep desire to explore the idea of bondage. She has no concept
what the hell his kink even involves…she goes along with it
because she falls under his handsome, rich and entitled spell,
and will do whatever she feels is necessary to please him. The
way I understand it if it doesn’t work for both parties, it’s
not gonna fly…but…Christian is so beguiled by her, the fact that
she doesn’t instantly cave in to his ideas, that he can’t stay
away from her….so he doesn’t. He barely knows her and he is
constantly spying on her (hey, wealth has it’s privileges,
right?)–knows who she is with, where she goes, what she does.
“Never leave me, Ana, I couldn’t bear it.” Ummmm…ok….Mr. Grey
sounds like a fantastic future of homicidal possessiveness.
Let’s just ignore that and keep going with this
“romance”–nothing to see here, move along. He starts to try and
control every aspect of her life. He buys her an awesome Mac
computer (so she can Google “Bondage”), and Blackberry (so she
is NEVER out of touch. Support your local stalker), and a new
car…because she drives a piece of shit Volkswagen Beetle…someone
ought to tell Ms. James that those things are collectable.
That’s right, I’d rather have an old VW than a shiny new Audi.
Fucking sue me. Personally I’m not into trading access to my
vagina for monetary gain. Am I that much of an anomaly? I think
not….I believe it’s what women in this vastly fucked-up society
are told to aspire to. Cash in on your sexuality–the most
important thing is to make a profit. Winning. That’s the biggest
problem I have with Fifty Shades of Grey. It reinforces all that
shit. Women need to read Fifty Shades like they need a hole in
the head. This book is like “McDonalds”—get a quick, thoughtless
bite to eat, written so that you don’t have to to exert too much
energy working through important issues–oppression of women,
patriarchy and sexual freedom and the bigger purpose of the
empowerment of women.
The other problem I have with this book is how absolutely
un-erotic it is. I’ll be honest, I was willing to forgive Fifty
Shades in exchange for some orgasmic fodder. You know, get to
“the dirty parts” kind of book…waiting to slog through the
boring cover story, the excuse for the well-written naughty
bits. I didn’t even get that satisfaction. The sex scenes made
me *yawn* with boredom. So much potential there, lost. I LOVE
books that exercise the erotic potential. You know that feeling,
something so hot that it effects you. Hits you deeply and with
purpose. For me, I love the written word more than any “dirty”
photograph…give me a hot classic novel like “Lady Chatterley’s
Lover” or a personal dirty musing from someone I fancy.
I’ll make a confession…my appreciation for erotic novels is
almost as old as I am. When I was about 5 years old I found a
copy of “Fanny Hill” in my father’s bedside nightstand. Every
time my parents would leave the house I was all over that shit.
I’d sneak off to their room, shut the door, open the forbidden
book and try to understand the contents. The original novel was
written by John Cleland while he was in debtor’s prison in 1748.
Must have done him good to have time to himself to write…it
became one of the most prosecuted and banned books in history.
Of course I was going to read it. I spent the next few years
exploring it (yes, years…when my parents divorced when I was 7 I
couldn’t bear to lose the book, so I hid it in my mother’s
things so my dad wouldn’t take it. I wanted to keep reading it.)
Fanny was written in extremely hard to understand Old English
language, but the more I read it, the more I was able to
discern. I won’t go into the sexuality of children because the
subject is so incredibly taboo, but I will say that I started
exploring very early by myself all of those feelings. Although I
didn’t understand the motivation behind many of the scenarios in
Fanny, I did understand the pleasure those feelings brought to
the surface. I am convinced that my early self-explorations
helped me develop a healthy, shame-free approach to sexuality,
despite my father’s attempt to shame me at an early age (I got
caught “touching myself” when I was 3 or 4….a lot. A Smack of
the hand and “keep your hand out of the sugar bowl”–seriously,
that’s what he said.). And surprise, even with my sexuality so
close to the surface I was never molested or had any terrible
experiences. The pleasure I found as a child belonged to me…it
was a secret…it was all mine. And I enjoyed it.
So, in conclusion…good, well-written erotica is worth seeking
out and exploring…so is your sexuality. Good sex is something
you don’t just get, and nobody can give it to you, either. It
comes from learning, exploring and experiencing–without shame or
fear. It comes from your own curiosity and intellect, not your
genitals. Fifty Shades of Grey misses that mark by a million
miles….why eat a Big Mac when you can devour an Anthony Bourdain
world of cuisine? You don’t need to…and you shouldn’t. There are
two more installments of Fifty Shades. I won’t be wasting my
Joya Sphere Massager
By Troy Michael
and light; Up and down; ice and fire; man and woman. Two halves
that give much more than one. Harmony in opposition, when the
parts are greater than the whole.”
That is the description on the front of
the box of the Joya Sphere Massager. If that doesn’t scream
spiritual healing and finding your inner self, then I don’t know
what does. Before you roll your eyes and cast this off as a
hippie sex toy – think again.
The new Sphere Intimate massager features
two separate yin-yang shaped massagers, which takes a pair of
AAA batteries for each massager. Those are not included so stock
up before you need to use these things.
The first red flag on the Sphere is each
massager measures in at 4.85 inches height x 2.5 inches width x
1.4 inches circumference and they are made of hard plastic.
However, they are waterproof so you can take the massagers into
the bathtub or shower with yourself or a significant other for
The hypoallergenic multi-speed massagers
do pack a pretty good punch, especially if you are tense in the
neck and shoulders, but another red flag is they are awkwardly
shaped and a bit difficult to get a handle on.
A bonus to these massagers is each one is
different in its functions. The white half offers five
graduating speeds, while the black half offers five unique
Joya’s Sphere does the job it is intended
for with the main selling point being the cool yin-yang design
and the fancy storage case it is presented in. Overall, this
isn’t the first massager I’d go for (hello Hitachi Magic Wans),
but it is still pretty cool to have.
Hustler Devious Devil Anal Beads
By Strawberry Blonde Bombshell
Devil” could have easily been my nickname in high school, but
rather it is the moniker of Hustler’s clever little invention –
the Hustler Devious Devil Anal Beads.
These little beads are made for beginners
and are different from my collection. For one, they are smaller,
but mostly the beads are oval shaped, which made for easy
insertion, not to mention pulling them out felt wonderful. If
you are an ass novice, these devilish beads are what you are
In addition, the stretchy rubber was a
nice touch, however if you use too much lube, good luck getting
a grip on those little bastards. But still, as I always say,
lube if your friend.
If you are curious about anal beads or
anal sex in general, give Hustler Devious Devil Anal Beads a
try. You can put them in you and walk around the house, sitting
at the computer, or with your lover as you prepare for some an
anal good times.
Good luck, have fun, and be safe.
Hustler Devilish Darling
me crazy, and don't get me wrong, I love a big cock, but this 8"
vibe was too big for me. Yes, I said it. While the high-grade
silicon makes for a smooth insertion and comfortable glide, I
could have enjoyed it more if it had been 2 inches smaller. I'm
also a fan of internal vibrators being curved to fit right up
against my g-spot, or to be tapered in shape. However, being
that I'm one for giving anything a second chance, I decided to
use lube to see if it was a more pleasurable experience. Since
I'm a girl who likes a strong, hard vibration, I was irritated
that the settings on the "darling" were hard to get right. The
box claims that it has 5 settings and functions, however I was
only able to work out two of them. The biggest bummer is that
one of the two speeds is is an "on/off" rhythm... making it
slightly frustrating when you want a steady vibe to make you
cum. Both times I had to pull out the Hustler Racy Rebel to
finish the job.
Hustler’s Mini Mistress Massager
years, the Hitachi Magic Wand has dominated the vibrator
disguised as massager market. Hustler decided to follow their
lead and has introduced the Mini Mistress Massager, a smaller,
more colorful version of a Hitachi Magic Wand. First, I must
tell you that I have never tried the Hitachi Magic Wand so I
cannot compare the two. Second, I am not one who feels like she
needs to have sex toys that masquerade as something else.
The Hustler Mini Mistress Massager has one big, giant drawback
for me. It has to be plugged in. And my bed just isn’t all that
close to an outlet so I have to find an extension cord or I have
to masturbate at an angle, with my legs dangling off the bed so
the cord will reach. Why, with all the wonderful vibrators out
there that take batteries, would you want something that plugs
in? Okay, so I suppose you then don’t have to worry about it
dying in the middle of a session, but the mess of dealing with a
cord and with it being plugged in was not worth the hassle. I’d
rather just have extra batteries lying around.
You can also plug this into your computer via USB. This is kind
of cool if you like to sit around watching porn and masturbating
but for me, the cord still gets in the way. Maybe I move around
more than the testers from Hustler, but even when I’m watching
porn there comes a time when I’m ramped up and the laptop falls
off my lap. Then the cord goes with it and I’m stuck with a
Magic Wand but no magic.
It worked okay as a vibrator. Nothing amazing. The head is
flexible which can be frustrating when you’re trying to get some
hardcore clit pressure and the flexible head keeps flexing. The
way it’s set up it’s really not an internal toy and for me, toys
are just not as fun if they can’t go inside.
I will say that I used this on my shoulders one night and it
felt pretty good, but I have a feeling a Hitachi Magic Wand
actually gives a decent massage. Hustlers Mini Massager fell
short on both vibrator and massage and because of the purple
color and the word Hustler printed on it, this is not a sex toy
in disguise, this is just a lame sex toy. Skip the Mini Mistress
Massager and just buy yourself a good vibrator. Hustler makes
plenty of those.
Hustler The Rebel
Rebel is a great, inexpensive pocket vibe that packs a mean
punch. I like using two vibes at once, and this one is great for
working the outside while using a larger, internal vibe at the
same time. It has four textured caps, so you can get off on a
smooth or rougher touch, depending on your sensitivity level. It
only requires one AA battery, it's light, easy to hold, and as I
said before, really revs with a steady, high speed. Highly
recommended as a gift (generally around $10!).
Girlfirends Films’ Lesbian Sex
By Troy Michael
in 2002, Girlfriends Films has grown to be the leading lesbian
adult film company in the world of porn. With an impressive
catalog of movies and an arm load of awards, Girlfriends Films
has blazed the trail for other all-girl companies to follow.
Now, the company has set out to do a
little something different. GGG has published their first-ever
book “Lesbian Sex Positions.”
The company has compiled some of their
hottest stills from their back catalog of films and put them
together in a beautiful, not to mention colorful, 224-page book.
In all there are 287 photos with each select chapter dealing
with a certain sexual position for the girls. There is also
minimal text in each chapter describing the sexual situations
depicted in the photos.
Informative and fun, at 10" x 8.5"
“Lesbian Sex Positions” is a good quick read with more photos to
tickle, not only your fancy but hers.
Hustler’s Devilish Darling
you need a Valentine’s Day present for your sweetie?
That’s a rhetorical question.
The answer is yes.
Single? Then you are your own sweetie and you also
deserve a present. I have the perfect Valentine’s Day present,
Hustler’s Devilish Darling. It’s a gorgeous, white vibrator with
hearts and devil horns adoring the outside. What could be more
perfect for Valentine’s Day than hearts and devil horns? Right.
Nothing could be more perfect. You need this vibrator.
The Devilish Darling does a good job
doing what vibrators do…vibrate. With five different speeds you
are sure to find one that hits your sweet spot. Plus it’s
waterproof for bathtub, shower action!
You do need to ignore the picture on the
back that makes it look like the vibrator is waggling back and
forth. I was
unreasonably excited to see this feature and just as
disappointed to find out that it just vibrates, it doesn’t
waggle. How cool would it be if the damn thing waggled back and
forth while it was all up in you? Yeah, that would be awesome.
Also, the one I tested had some problem with the battery
connection initially. If you want to see a frustrated face, you
should have seen mine when I was all ready for some good
vibrations and having to shake the vibrator every few minutes to
get it going again.
It was not the good kind of frustration either. However, I took
the batteries out and put them back in and haven’t had any
problems since so hopefully that was just a fluke.
This vibrator is rated intermediate,
though I’m not sure why a beginner couldn’t handle it. Maybe the
five speeds are just too much for someone who’s never used a
vibrator before. It’s not the most exciting vibrator I’ve ever
tried out, but it’s so damn pretty I can totally forgive it.
Sort of like some girlfriends, right? Maybe not the best
girlfriend, but when they’re that pretty it’s easy to look past
that. This vibrator needs to be a present, wrapped in a red bow
and presented with some chocolate, some lube and a bubble bath.
Yin Wang Anal Beads
new to my world of sex toys are anal beads. My friend sent me
the Hustler Yin Wang
Anal Beads and I was a bit hesitant at first. However,
after an evening of wine drinking with my guy pal, we decided it
would be fun to see what they were all about. Having little
experience with all things anal, lube was most definitely a
requirement, as was clitoral stimulation with my Rebel. I have
to say, if you like a little anal play, beads are a pleasant
experience. These beads are flexible and smooth, and the
graduating size make them easy to insert. I'm now happy to have
welcomed a new addition to my toy drawer.
Hustler's Twice the Love Vibrating
the Whacky Wall Walkers of the 1970s? Yeah, that’s what the
Twice the Love Vibrating Jelly Cocking feels like, well until
you use it and get it messy.
There lies one of its problems. When the
jelly cock ring gets wet, be it sweat, lube or hopefully wetness
from your lover, it is nearly impossible to keep on. The jelly
material is very stretchy for all dig gerent sized cocks, but it
doesn’t hold its shape or strength once the material is wet.
The cock ring also features dual
vibrators, one at the top under the heart and one at the bottom
near the French tickler nubs. This brings us to another issue. A
lot of dudes are not cool with posting a heart-shaped cock ring
on their cocks no matter how good it feels. Not to mention it
comes in purple.
Nonetheless, Hustler's Twice the Love
Vibrating Jelly Cocking does the trick for hitting the cult when
fucking your girl. If you keep it on long enough it might make
your balls numb though, which could be a positive in holding off
Overall this isn’t the best cock ring for
guys, but it does seem to do the job for both sexes.
Pipedream’s Japanese Silk Rope
don’t own very much silk, but I have a few things.
Silk tends to be soft and smooth.
Unless it’s raw silk, but there is still a delicate
quality to even raw silk.
So I was interested to see what a Japanese Silk Rope
Made by Pipedream, the box features a spray tanned lady with her
hands bound to her legs, flashing us the crotch of her red
panties. The rope is
red, 35 feet long and says it’s long and durable enough to
engage in Shibari style rope bondage.
I didn’t know anything about Shibari, so I looked it up.
It sounds lovely and quite complicated, dealing with not
just restraining someone but the aesthetics of it.
I would highly encourage you to do your own research into
this if you’re interested.
I can’t say the same about the ‘Japanese Silk Rope’ we tried.
It didn’t look so much like a rope as it did a really
long shoelace; a 35
foot shoelace to be exact.
I did like the length because it allowed for multiple
wrappings and then a length that could be used to control the
arms. I also liked that
the length allowed you to incorporate legs into the tying if you
The rope doesn’t look like silk at all, but it says it’s silk so
it must be a cotton-y looking silk.
The box says it’s ‘Perfect for Beginners’.
I’m not sure what the difference would be between a
beginner’s rope and an intermediate rope.
Maybe the intermediate rope would look less like a
shoelace. This kit
also came with a free mask, but we missed that part until it was
too late. It was
just a standard black mask, so nothing special there, though it
is nice of them to include so you can be powerless to move and
I would give this toy a C.
It’s a solid, average, middle of the road student.
I wouldn’t recommend it, but I wouldn’t recommend against
it if you asked me “Hey, where I can buy a Japanese Silk Rope to
tie up my girlfriend who’s never done bondage before?”
The rope is handy, too soft to leave marks (boo), long
enough to do fun stuff with and innocuous enough to leave lying
around. I mean,
who’s going to think the giant shoelace is really a bondage
Secrets of Great G Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation by Tristan Taormino
love things like lists. Lists, self-help books and how to manuals rank pretty
high for me on things that are wonderful. So of course I jumped at the chance
to review a book about secrets of G spot orgasms and female ejaculation.
impression was not a great one, however. On the first page is a picture of a
couple, half naked. The man’s hands are down her perfect porn star panties, the
woman has a belly button piercing, a fake tan, fake nails, fake boobs and the
kind of fake porn star lusty look that you only ever see in the really bad
pornos. The one’s that give 14-year-olds the idea that all that happens with
girls when they are about to orgasm is that they whimper like tiny little
kittens and open their mouth delicately like a flower. If that’s what your
orgasm looks like you have either had too much botox or you haven’t actually had
an orgasm, especially a g-spot orgasm. A good g-spot orgasm makes you emit
sounds you didn’t think you could make while your face contorts in the agony and
ecstasy of it all. It’s not pretty.
Taormino’s “The Secrets of Great G Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation” is
filled with these pictures of fake couples, having fake sex and posing in god
awful standard porn pictures. I applaud that they have a presumably married
lesbian couple, but the way the pictures are shot it feels like it’s just
pandering to boys dreams of seeing two hot chicks get it on. And though I did
make my boy read this book, this book is written more for women. So now, let’s
get to the meat of it.
LOVE LOVE LOVE how well laid out this book is - about how to find your g-spot,
stimulate your g-spot and have an orgasm that way. It has helpful tips on
positioning, timing and even what toys make good g-spot toys. Taormino clearly
knows her shit when it comes to sex. The book was well written and
informative. I also enjoyed the layout. There were sidebars with tips and
tricks for different things.
also included information on anal sex, which was very insightful. Anal sex can
be such a scary place for people and Taormino had a lovely way of being very
matter-of-fact about it. She also included ways to make it work for both men
favorite thing about this book is it includes one of my VERY favorite short
stories EVER. I won’t spoil it for you, but it’s the last story in the book and
it’s about Peter Pan and it’s AMAZING. I know, Peter Pan doesn’t make you think
smut but wait until this story blows your mind and has your hands down your
pants halfway through. You will change your mind right quick.
I want to
make it clear that I recommend “The Secrets of Great G Spot Orgasms and Female
Ejaculation” by Tristan Taormino whole heartedly. Just ignore the stupid porn
pictures and READ it. Study it. I used it to find my g-spot in a different
way and to try some more adventurous things than I had previously. My partner
was thrilled. Plus, having a “how to” manual has made it so there’s an easy
excuse for sex every day. We have to practice the techniques, right? Because
practice makes perfect and we’re all looking for that perfect O.
A Gangbang of Hustler
the mail I received, from a very generous benefactor, a box of toys. Nice new
toys that I had never experienced before.
well, I could use each of these new toys each separately at different times.
remembered I was me and decided to use them all NOW NOW NOW....now.
with my new DISCO STICK 5 SILVER from Hustler Toys. Nice powerful little
vibe. Great for giving me a little charge...disco stick on clit action. Nice
for a little G-spot action as well, but ...it's a hard plastic studded vibe.
Not overly forgiving. Ok, back out to my clit...yes, this is nice.
I moved up
to DISCO STICK 7 PINK from Hustler. Same power, same lovely vibe action
for my clit. Nearly the same as Disco Stick 5 Silver...only...um, bigger...and
pink. And honestly, though it's not THAT big, the fact that it's a hard
studded vibe made it not as nice for clamping my pussy down onto...little ouchy.
That's ok, though, it gets a pass for having a nice strong vibration - can get
me from 0 to "holy fucking god I'm coming already" pretty quick. Maybe I'll
toss it in my purse.
a few minutes of vibe on clit action and an active imagination: I'm wound up
and ready to try more.
decide I want to try the PLUGGED IN LARGE, also from Hustler, a nice
velvety feeling butt plug that feels not unlike their PERFECT BOYFRIEND 8 that I
have sitting next to it, which I have already given my two thumbs up approval
for. My goal here is to have a little going on 'everywhere'.
I lubed up
and tried to insert Plugged In Large into my ass. And tried again. And tried
So let me
just say, my ass is built a little tight. I mean with enough perseverance (and
lube), larger toys (and cocks) will eventually fit in there. But as delightful
as this little plug felt, it was just too...soft? Pliable? Something. I could
not get it in there. And believe you me, I did try. I'm sure if I had company,
it could be jammed into my ass...but on my own? No bueno. *sigh* Moving on.
next on the list was something that had really caught my eye.
Hustler’s DEFLOWER KIT. Yup, you read that right. DeFlower Kit. Ok
yes, it's been a very long time since I was deflowered, but still...this just
It has the
main control unit, and from it, two cords - one cord had a little egg-shaped
vibe and at the end of the other was a pliable "tickler", split down the
middle, that I could only assume was to grip onto my clit. Intriguing.
was already wet from starting out with my disco sticks, so I slipped the egg
shaped vibe up into my pussy and lodged it just behind my G-spot, and placed the
tickler right on my clit. I turned it on to a middle of the road setting and
tried out the first function, which was just a steady vibration.
this would do just fine.
So I turned
it up to a higher, stronger vibrating setting. Even nicer. And while that
was wonderful in and of itself, I decided it was my duty to try the other
settings. There was a setting that had short pulses, some that had longer
pulses, one that had it a soft vibration that would increase to a harder one and
then start over. But my favorite was setting nine...which was a quick STRONG
jolt of vibration that would taper to nothing....then BAM, a nice hard
vibration. The combination of this on both my clit and my g-spot was just...so
nice. Yes, I do believe I like this toy. Keeper. I can imagine it will be
fun to have someone else running the controls, too. We shall see about that
soon. Yes, very soon.
I was ready
for more, though, so I grabbed the other piece of 'electronics' in my new toy
box: The PROVOCATIVE PLEASURE PLUG PINK.
was similar to the DeFlower Kit as it was a vibe at the end of a cord attached
to a controller, only this one was a nice 'plug shaped vibe, very obviously
meant for my ass.
built the way I am, I covered this in lube and started the process of pushing it
into me. With a little effort, I finally got it lodged into my ass the way it
was meant to be. Perfect size if I do say so myself.
It has four
speeds on the vibe, so I tried them all out. You know, in the name of science.
is also a keeper. I'm actually not much for a vibe in the ass to be honest, but
again, this is the perfect size for that nice 'full feeling' and the added perk
of vibration? Bonus.
this point, I decide that, while the DeFlower Kit is divine, it really truly is,
I want MORE to take me over the edge and complete the full feeling that the
Provocative Pleasure Plug Pink (say that 5 times fast...while using it on the
fastest setting..ready go!) had started to achieve.
I set my
sexy little 'kit' aside, grab my Hustler Perfect Boyfriend 8, lube it up and
straddle it. Sitting on that lovely, silky realistic 8" cock - with the
pressure of me rocking back and forth front to back pushing it further into me,
and at the same time pushing the Provocative Pleasure Plug Pink firmly into my
ass - yes, this was exactly what I had been looking for.
And for the
cherry on top, I again reached for the very first toy I tried tonight - the
Disco Stick 5 Silver. I pressed that against my clit while I was riding the
other 2 toys.....and GAME OVER, FOLKS...I had one of the nicer toy-induced earth
shattering orgasms I could recall. I am now a happy, content, pile of quiver.
I love when
my toys can play well together.
Big Teaze Toys I Rub My
Duckie Pirate Travel Size
toy had the most amazing package ever. It came in a sleek black box with a
Jolly Roger skull and crossbones flag on it. You opened that and behold!
Another box! This time, the box was a sturdy replica of a treasure chest.
Inside the satin lined (yes, satin lined! Amazing!) box lay a rubber duckie
decked out in pirate gear, including a little removable hat. Big Teaze
obviously put a lot of thought and effort into making just opening one of their
toys enjoyable and it pays off.
looking at the eye patch and the skull and crossbones adoring the packages made
me want to dress up in my wench outfit and engage in some pillaging and
plundering. I first tried this duckie in what I would consider his most natural
environment, the bathtub. Let down number one came when the duck’s front end
sank into the water. This may look like a rubber duckie, but it sure doesn’t
float like one. That’s okay though, because this duck isn’t that kind of toy
and has other, much more fun uses. Before I could get to that though, I had to
go through let down number two, the on/off switch. It’s a tiny thing on the
bottom of the duck that you turn. It’s easy enough to do if you have small, dry
hands but in the water or when dealing with other slippery stuff it becomes
quite the challenge. And that’s a challenge you don’t want before you even get
way, the pirate duck performs admirably. His motor is more in his butt than his
head, which seems counterintuitive. I’m not exactly sure where I got the idea
that sticking a duck’s head into my clit would be the right way it would go,
but for some reason I was sure it would be his head, not his ass, that
vibrated. The vibrations were quiet enough that you could use this toy with
other people in the house and not have a problem. It vibrated strongly enough
to be pleasing, but maybe not strong enough for a YOWZA kind of orgasm.
would give this toy average marks for performance and way, way above average for
packaging and originality. I would absolutely give these toys out, especially
to someone who’s uncomfortable with the idea of a vibrator shaped like a rocket
Of course, I would also give them the handy tip that the duckie is pretty
awesome if you put him in your underwear while your laying on your back,
squeezing him with your thighs and reading good erotic fiction. Now THAT makes
me say argh!
Big Teaze Toys - Onye
package is grey with silver trim. No picture on the front, just a simple
message at the bottom in lower case purple letters: “onye” and beneath that “vibromassuer”.
Tres French no?
Inside is a
black satin box lined with plush lavender. Nestled in this lavender is a sleek,
black vibrator about the size of a short, fat cigar. It’s shiny and black, with
a band of latex grip to keep slippery fingers from slipping off. Like most
women, I am a sucker for good packaging. Onye knows that when marketing high
end vibrators, a classy lady doesn’t want a dildo shape or a teddy bear. Onye
is for a high class call girl not a corner hooker.
Teaze Toys needs to know that nobody wants to buy goddamn triple AAA batteries
so please, please start using double AA. Also, what the fuck is splash proof?
It’s not waterproof so no shower or tub play, but splash proof? I suppose that
means if you’re a squirter, it won’t ruin this toy. Okay, now that I’ve got
that out of the way…those are pretty much my only complaints. I know! I’m
usually full of skepticism and my vagina isn’t much more optimistic. We’ve
tested out too many pocket rockets to be blown away by much, but ooh la la Onye!
eight different vibrations. There is a vibration for every pussy out there. Or
there are eight different vibrations for my jaded goods. Here’s a breakdown of
Vibration 1 – simple and straightforward.
Vibration 2 – faster. Harder.
Vibration 3 – FASTER! HARDER!
Vibration 4- the revving engine vibration. Have a fantasy about getting fucked
on the hood of a classic car while someone revs the engine? Vibration 4 is the
one for you.
Vibration 5 – pulsating vibration. Great for fantasies about fucking to pulsing
music. Use in conjuction with your favorite techno or dance music on your iPod.
Vibration 6 – galloping vibration for girls with pony riding fantasies.
Vibration 7 – Heavy Metal vibration. For some reason the combo on this
vibration reminds me of the bass line of Heavy Metal music. Dudududu DUUUUUHHH.
Pair this up with a rocker dude fantasy and you’re good to go.
Vibration 8 –the jackhammer. Pulsing, fast, hard vibrating. For when you’re
done screwing around and ready to finish this shit up.
Onye is not
a cheap, hot pink dildo, it’s a perfection of vibrating sex toy in a package you
can take anywhere. It’s visually appealing and most importantly, me and my
pussy like it. Hands down, the best pocket rocket/vibrator we’ve ever tested.
that I’ve said “we” about me and my vagina does that mean I need to name the
Hustler’s Spank Me
should have at least one paddle in their arsenal of sex toys. Hustler’s Spank
Me Silly would be a nice addition. It’s not designed for people who REALLY like
spanking and I’ll explain why later, but it’s a great paddle for a couple who
likes the sound of leather hitting skin.
coming out of the heart provide a pleasing tickle slap, while the heart itself
allows for a good full contact slap. This paddle left my ass pleasingly red and
hot to the touch, but never crossed the line into serious pain. The short
handle means even if you have an overenthusiastic partner, there’s only so hard
it will hit, which brings me to why this paddle is recommended for beginners or
as a warm up before the real fun.
handle is flat and not particularly comfortable. It’s good for about ten or
fifteen minutes of paddling, but if you want to dish out serious punishment it
may be YOUR hand that ends up taking a beating. The short handle also limits
how hard you can deal the blow. Even at a considerable amount of force, I never
found this paddle to actually hurt much. It had a lovely sensual sting that
rarely crossed the line into pain. Sometimes it felt like my partner was
working harder than I was. Though my ass was red, the pain went away quickly
and it left no marks. I’m not going to tell you if that’s good or bad, but it’s
information you need to know.
Hustler’s The Perfect Girlfriend
I was in college I was able to balance a full beer on my head. We used to joke
that if I was three feet tall and had no teeth, I would be the perfect
girlfriend. Well, wish no more people! No, I didn’t shrink and lose my teeth
but Hustler did come out with a new pocket pussy named The Perfect Girlfriend.
Except they don’t call it a pocket pussy, which I think is a shame because the
name pocket pussy is exceptional. They call it a “stroker.”
The Perfect Girlfriend is six
inches long and made of translucent material. I think Hustler was thinking that
it would be sexy to be able to see your dick through the material. Well,
Hustler, we’ve had this discussion before. You need to actually TRY these
things before you put them out there. Do you want to know what it looks like
when a man’s dick is inside this toy? It looks like the worms from the movie
“Dune” coming up from the sand. There’s a hole in the bottom of the toy,
presumably to relieve any suction, and it’s stretchy enough that if you get
going, the head of the penis sticks right out. Again, go watch a clip of the
sand worms from “Dune.” Not sexy for watching. So, I let the man do his thing
since it’s obviously meant to be a solo toy.
He says The Perfect Girlfriend
is nicer than jacking off with just your hand, since it has that nice ridged
feeling inside and you can fantasize easier when it’s not your hand. He also
came a lot faster since it gave a tighter grip than his hand ever could.
However, the downsides
ultimately outweighed those two lovely things. This “stroker” made so much
noise it was obscene. You had to use a lot of lube to even get into it
comfortably and then the squishing sounds were almost comical. It is not a toy
that you can use comfortably while your family is in the other room, unless you
want them banging on the door asking what the hell that squishing noise is. The
Perfect Girlfriend is also hard to clean, though I think this is true with most
pocket pussies. He also pointed out that because of the generous size of this
toy, he wouldn’t feel comfortable traveling with it.
Overall, The Perfect Girlfriend
was more like The Average Girlfriend. She performed just fine, but you wouldn’t
be excited to take her home. She just wasn’t that interesting. There was a
brief moment where we debated seeing what happened if you put the The Perfect
Girlfriend inside a real girlfriend. Now THAT may be interesting.
Hustler's The Perfect Boyfriend 8
folks. This is officially my first "toy" review.
Let me start by saying that it's always been assumed, among my circle of
friends, that I must own a truckload of toys. This is due to the fact that I am
hypersexual and am not shy at all about it. It's a misconception, though. As
I've stated a million times, I don't like appliances: I like my toys with a
pulse. And feelings I can crush.
And I do still prefer those toys. But even I have to take a step outside
juggling real life play things and I've come to appreciate a few 'manufactured'
toys. My hand held shower head being one of them.
A new toy has recently come into my position: Hustler's "The Perfect Boyfriend".
The 8" variety.
After laughing at the name, I unleashed it from it's plastic packaging.
Immediately I knew this was different than some of the "random dildos" I have
held in my hot little hands in the past (I said I didn't really like toys, I
never said I didn't occasionally have them used on me). It felt....real? Maybe
not real, I mean it isn't hot like a fully erect human cock...but holy mother of
god, it feels a LOT different than the numerous (shut up) jelly dongs I've come
into contact with before.
It's soft. Velvety soft. Soft and smooth yet firm. Much like, dare I say, a real
dick. Not exactly, but very similar.
And it - and I know this is going to sound weird - but it smells good. It
doesn't smell like latex. It smells almost sweet. What the hell is this made of?
I just checked the packaging and I don't see any "ingredients"...but I guess I
really don't care. The packaging says it's "Phthalate Free" (whatever the fuck
that is) and body safe. Good enough for me.
So now the real test. How does it feel? It feels fanfuckingtastic.
For a cock that's not attached to someone else doing the steering, I was fully
impressed. And by fully, I mean fully. The texture and bizarrely lifelike
structure was surprisingly pleasant going in, and when clamped down upon, felt
the closest to the 'real thing' as anything outside the real thing has ever felt
- not that normal 'unforgiving' consistency of fake cocks I've had inside me in
the past. And as a special bonus, it's decent sized base, a faux set o' balls
with a flat backside, was good for sitting upright on a stable surface and
sliding down upon. And back off of. And back onto.
Honestly, I'm actually very surprised that I'm as impressed with a dildo - and
one that doesn't have bells and whistles that animate it in some fashion. If the
texture and feel of this bad boy gets integrated with some sort of motorized
'rabbit-esque' type of movement and clit vibe....I seriously may never leave the
house again. Ok that's not true, but it would take a lot more to coax me out if
I'm armed with that and a bottle of wine. That's a goddamned DATE.
And now I'm off to give it another spin. Because I'm thorough like that. All in
the name of science of course...
Adam & Eve Curved
Beaded Glass Dildo
Strawberry Blonde Bombshell
of my favorite styles of toys is the kind which has varying widths, for example
when they start small and get bigger. Now it’s not beast of a toy, but Adam &
Eve’s Curved Beaded Glass Dildo has that style and much more. The glass is a
lovely shade of purple and it goes from small to big, but it is beaded all the
way down, so how could a girl not fall in love with this…at least I hope to.
The Adam &
Eve website describes the Curved Beaded Glass Dildo on their website as “has so
many delightfully wicked twists and turns, it’s like getting three sex toys in
one!” I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it certainly has many variations for
such a handy toy.
non-porous glass, the dildo has a slight curve to it which not only makes it
easy to hold while sliding it in and out of your pussy, but also curves just
enough to hit all the good spots against your pussy walls. Like I said, Its easy
to handle and I could can feel each glass bead as it slid in and out of me. At
six inches long and 1.25 inches wide, the curved beaded glass dildo isn’t too
heavy and would work well for anyone who loves sex toys.
If you wan
to really get creative you can turn it around and put the big beaded end in your
pussy first, but be careful not to lose it. Either way, the sensations of the
glass beads getting bigger or smaller feels really good and will most likely
bring any girl to orgasm.
remised if I didn’t mention the small end of the toy and its “tantalizing
twists” because that seems to be on of the selling points Adam & Eve are
pushing. The small tip does have a twisty tip, which you can rub on your slit or
feel inside you, but if you are an experienced sex toy player, I don’t know if
this will do much good due to the small size.
All that being said, I’d say
Adam & Eve’s Curved Beaded Glass Dildo is a keeper and will have a nice spt
saved next to my bed in my night stand. The diversity of this toy is the appeal
and the fact that it does the job is even better.
Adam & Eve Male Cyberglass Anal
Strawberry Blonde Bombshell
pretty toy from Adam & Eve is labeled for a man and even has a man on the
packaging, but I still couldn’t resist trying Male Cyber glass Anal Balls
myself. I mean come on, women like anal too you know.
At first touch I was
surprised how heavy and big these were, not to mention a little bit apprehensive
if I could slide them in my ass an intended. Plus the description on the Adam &
Eve site states they can double as keel exercisers. which makes me wonder why
they put “male” in the title, this toy is both sexes. In fact these cyber glass
balls has many uses, including warming them up for a nice massage or freeze them
for some teasing.
The balls themselves are
1.85 inches across and 4.25 inches long with a silicone retrievable chord. They
are firmly wrapped in this stretchy material so there shall be no fear in
getting these balls lost inside you.
As I warmed the balls up
and rubbed them over my body, clit and pussy lips, I couldn’t help myself but to
slide the two balls inside my and wiggle around a little bit to see what they
felt like. Not only did they feel fantastic, but when you get up and walk around
it this feels divine. I actually had to sit down and get myself off because they
felt so good. In addition, once you get used to them they do in fact strengthen
your vagina muscles the longer you leave them in.
On a separate occasion,
after some anal play with one of my favorite glass toys, I decided to go all out
and try to fit these bad boys in my ass. After adding plenty of lube, one ball
went in easier then I expected and number two went in easy as well. I sat up in
bed, wiggled around a little and I felt full, I felt the balls knocking
together. This is what put me over the edge when they were in my pussy and I
think they were going to do the same for me in my ass. I didn’t get up and walk
around this time, rather I took one of my vibrator’s and fucked my pussy and
within minutes I was having one of the most intense orgasms I’ve had with toy
play. It was toe curling, tense your body type of cum and it felt fabulous.
Needless to day I’ve
used these one more than one occasion and left them in my while working around
the house. The Male Cyberglass Anal Balls from Adam & Eve do everything they
promise and more.
Adam & Eve Silicone Taffy Tickler
By Strawberry Blonde
love glass toys and I've tried my fair share of "ticklers" so when i saw Adam &
Eve’s Silicone Taffy Tickler Glass Dildo i thought why not combine them. This
could be like putting peanut butter and chocolate together
Out of the plastic
packaging it came and off came my pants. At a little over five inches long and
an inch around the glass toy was sturdy to say the least. The version of Taffy
Tickler I got had orange ticklers around it and needless to say, it’s not the
sexiest color on a toy. The silicone ticklers wrapped around the shaft from top
to nearly the bottom so there were a lot of numbs on the toy.
After a little pussy
fingering warm up, in goes the toy, ouch. Bad move on my part. Lesson learned
here, if you want to play with this toy correctly use lube and lots of it for
you beginners. Once properly lubed up I slowly inserted the toy again and it
went in easier without any discomfort. I’ll be honest...it felt weird as I
pushed the toy in and out of my pussy it felt like a small cactus fucking me. I
like it rough, but this was a little too prickly for my liking.
It’s not the glass part
at all. It was the orange ticklers that turned me off. I am thinking if there
wasn’t so many it would be a lot more fun, so take note Adam & Eve – less is
more for this girl.
Hustler’s Disco Stick
I first opened the package for these rock and roll vibrators, I thought they
were laughable. So laughable that I actually trotted them out at a party, put
batteries in them and made them do 'vibrator races' across the floor. While
laughing hysterically, I noticed something interesting. The little one was
leaping like a goddamn frog. Leaping. Off the floor. Oh, hey little vibrator,
what have you got going on in there?
Turns out the studded
exterior of these vibrators hides a gem inside. Much like the punk rock boys of
my youth who were all swagger, spit and tough talk, but once you got them home
they just wanted to make you happy and cuddle afterwards. This vibrator has a
tough exterior but a heart of gold. So take a deep breath and look past the
harsh plastic, the studs, the bright disco colors and turn that motherfucker on.
You will not regret it.
Don't tell my partners,
but holy crap! Best. Orgasm. In a long time. This little vibrator packed a
punch. It's like when you get into a Mini Cooper and you're expecting to toodle
about and instead you realize someone has replaced the engine with a giant V-8,
dual exhaust and even racing suspension. You are in for a ride! This little
vibrator comes out of the gate buzzing like a jet plane. I was blissed out from
the get go. Then, just as I was getting close, I realized I didn't even have it
turned up all the way. So I cranked it up…and was a goner. Instantly. Did you
hear that? Instantly.
Okay, this is not a
renaissance vibrator. I don't think I'd want this sucker inside me (but don't
quote me on that.....) and it's not anything fancy. But what this vibrator does
is knock it out of the park with the one thing it does - vibrate. Thank you,
Hustler for putting such a powerful motor in such a tiny package. When I need to
come, and I need to come right now, I know what I'm reaching for.
Screaming O’s Triple Pleasure Ring
the packaging alone on this cock ring sets it apart from the others. The Big
Glow touts that you can turn your bedroom into a disco. So we dimmed the lights,
turned on a little Bee Gee’s Saturday Night Fever and got down with our
The stretchy material of
this cock ring made for a good fit and my honey reported it was the perfect
amount of sexy discomfort. Once on, you are ready to boogie oogie oogie all
night long. Get it wet for getting this baby on and off or you will pull
delicate skin that shouldn’t be pulled but once you have it in place, you are
ready to jive. This cock ring can go the distance, advertising 80-plus minutes
of intense vibration. We didn’t make it 80 minutes. Why? Because we’re not porn
stars AND because the Screaming O’s Big Glow cock ring produced screaming O
results. This cock ring is also reported to be waterproof but by the time I
realized that I had exhausted myself in the bedroom. This would be super fun in
a dark bathroom though!
Disco is pushing it a
bit, since the stimulator on top flashes red. It’s more of a police siren vibe
if you ask me, but that can be kinky too. Bust out the handcuffs baby! The light
was a big hit with the man, since he liked seeing the action bathed in a red
glow. If your girl is shy about turning on the lights, just use this instead so
you can watch.
The varying vibrations
were awesome and allowed for a little break in between good feelings, or if you
want to go for the gold you can turn the vibrations on to constant. The size and
shape (thank you, thank you, thank you for NOT making it a goddamn butterfly or
teddy bear) are perfect for pushing into the love button and delivering a
consistent good pressure. I know the toy can last 80 minutes but once that disco
ball got near my clit I was done almost immediately. I’m thinking of putting
this on a dildo. Wait, seriously. I’m a genius. I would put this on a dildo and
never get out of bed!
The Big Glow gets a big
thumbs up from me and my honey. I would highly recommend this toy and I can’t
wait to try the next one which has a stimulator for me AND for him. Get down,
Adam & Eve Crystal
Strawberry Blonde Bombshell
to my first toy review for IWAdult.com. I am excited to be here and hope you
enjoy my candid and honest reviews. As a girl who has plenty of experience with
adult toys, I welcome this opportunity, so let’s get started.
little glass toy comes from Adam & Eve and is called the Crystal Crescent Dildo,
The curved design works well in your hand and at first glance I really was
exited to try boy ends, one being bigger than the other. And at seven inches
long and an inch wide, I knew I wouldn’t have trouble taking it.
As I warmed
myself up and got my pussy nice and wet I took the Crystal Crescent Dildo and
slide the smaller end up in me and started pushing it in and out it was nice to
feel it warm up. In the future you might want to warm it up before inserting the
toy because it won’t be such a shock. As I picked up the pace the toy got wetter
and here came the problem, it was tricky to hold on to. However, if you maintain
a good grip you can swirl the toy around inside you and it feels really good
hitting all the right spots.
end didn’t get me off so I turned the toy around and went with the rounder
bulbous end and it felt much better. It’s probably best to start with the
smaller end first by the way. When I plunged the rounded in deep in me almost
taking every inch that is when I really got off. I could feel the large bulb rub
against my pussy walls and make me wetter and wetter until I couldn’t hold off
anymore and have an intense orgasm.
sure I liked the Adam & Eve Crystal Crescent Dildo I used it a few more times
before writing this review and it worked very well each time. It got me off more
times than not. As long as you can keep a handle on it, this toy will bring you
many nice orgasms.
Hustler’s Bang Bang
toys are awesome. You never have a hanging cord and can play some pretty kinky
games with them, like letting your lover control the switches and how long
you’ll get off (it could go one for hours). It might leave you hollering “bang,
bang.” So, this is obviously a correctly named toy and you’ll definitely get
more bang for your buck and a bang out of it (I couldn’t resist).
pluses…it has seven, yes seven, different vibrations and can be used in the
shower or bath (just make sure the controller doesn’t get wet). It also comes
with its own batteries (it’s a top secret, special kind). Just take it out of
the box and get busy—that’s a huge plus in my book. It also cleans up easy. Plus
it comes in an attractive box that can be re-used for storage.
drawback is the suggested retail price is almost $100. Some places do have it
for a little more than 50 bones (just shop around). I have to go now and get to
my wild adventures with this toy.
Hustler’s Frisky Rabbit
rabbit is way better than Hustler’s Non-Conformist Rabbit — it’s a few inches
smaller, lighter and easier to hold and use. I don’t miss the loud rotating
pearls of the other Godzilla vibe. I also like that it’s pink, which is one of
my fave colors. It also makes it very easy to find in the bed and is super
girly. The 3 vibrations and five functions are pretty powerful and can take your
breath away. The box says “intermediate” on it, but I think it’s referring to
the orgasms and not operator skills.
downfall to this toy is that it uses three AAA batteries and I only had two left
— this meant a trip to the store and that’s not a good thing. AAA batteries are
always a minus in one of my reviews. Outside of that one little gripe, I can’t
fault this cute little toy that looks like it would be owned by Hello Kitty and
A $50 price
point is extremely reasonable. So you can buy one for a friend and yourself,
hint, hint. This is definitely one of the better rabbits on the market and worth
first thing I thought when I saw this was “oh my God”! Who is this rabbit for,
Godzilla? It’s huge (about 7”) and kind of heavy — must be those rotating
pearls. And the price tag is a monster, as well—almost $70 dollars. Now, I don’t
mind spending some money on a toy if it’s the shit, but this one didn’t quite
deliver. It’s just awkward. Not only is it clunky and heavy, but also it doesn’t
really do the job. If it were a few inches smaller (when have you ever heard a
woman ask for smaller?), it would be awesome! It’s hard to get off when you’re
sidetracked by its awkwardness. Seriously, really.
There are a
few good things about the Godzilla-sized rabbit. It’s made of Phthalate Free
Body Safe Material and is waterproof. Another plus is that it takes “AA”
batteries, which is always a minus in this reviewers book—that means, this time
I was prepared and had them on deck (although it’s fun to go to CVS and buy a
shit-ton of batteries and have them wonder what I’m doing—then again they MUST
know). Outside of that, I’d pick another toy of the shelf to go home with.
off, I LOVE the packaging! There’s a peep window so you can actually see what
you’re buying and the graphics, box, etc. are aesthetically pleasing. The toy
itself is a beautiful, sleek object and thankfully not as heavy as other glass
toys. Some glass toys make you feel like you’re getting a workout at the gym,
since they are so heavy! This is meant to be an anal dildo, but can be used
vaginally and I kind of prefer that. The graduated sized beads are a nice
pleasurable touch and also make it a great way to train your ass. Just make sure
to lube up a lot and with the correct kind of lube (anal, if it’s for your ass,
or water-based for the vajayjay).
I’m not a
huge fan of glass dildos in general, but you can’t help but love this toy — you
can also chill it in the freezer or run it under hot water for an amazing extra
sensation (and we’ll leave it at that). Another plus to glass toys is obviously
the clean-up which is really easy—either put it in the dishwasher or wash it
with warm soapy water or toy cleaner in the sink (just make sure not to drop
it). The toy runs about $25 and makes a wonderful addition to your growing toy
collection or could even be a wedding shower gift.
Adam & Eve: A Real Man’s Cock Ring
& Eve packaged two cock rings together in their Real Man’s Cock Ring. It’s
marketed as “Two Sizes for the Perfect Fit.” Genius, pure genius. The small
ring is obviously too small for the average man’s penis but not too small for
the average man’s ego. You can imagine the strutting around crowing “I had to
use the BIG size cock ring for this bad boy.” Of course, if your man is on the
smaller side this may not have quite the desired effect. But he will at least
have a cock ring that fits and that should make you both happy!
We didn’t want to waste the
extra cock ring, so we used both. Oh yes, we used that tiny little purple cock
ring too! We put the hot orange larger cock ring on as a normal cock ring and
used the purple on one the tip. Yowza! Both rings were effective and kept my
man’s cock nice and hard. He did say the little one on the tip was a weency bit
painful at the end since it cut off circulation quite effectively. I enjoyed
the feeling of the one on the tip, since it was ridged.
These were a bit stiffer than
the average cock ring we’ve tried out before, but still flexible enough to get
on and off without too much trouble. The little one on the tip took a little
more effort, so please be careful. They are made of latex so if you have
sensitivities to latex you’ll want to watch out for that. Overall though, these
cock rings were enjoyable and did the job admirably. Yes, yes a cock ring can
do an admirable job. We will be putting these toys into regular rotation, which
is about as good a compliment as you can get from me.
Adam & Eve: Handmaiden The Original
love the picture they show on their website of this dildo cradled in your hand.
Seriously, look at the picture. Finally, somebody figured out that if you are
using a dildo for more than few minutes, your fingers start to hurt from
gripping it. Plus, when you are in the throws of passion, it’s hard to keep
that grip up and sometimes your fingers cramp up at just the wrong moment,
Instead of “Oh yes”, you’re screaming “Oh, no!”
The Handmaiden is a good size,
coming in at five insertable inches and is made of silicone. Silicone is great
because it lasts forever. You must make extra sure that you do NOT use a
silicone lubricant with a silicone toy since it can degrade the toy. And by
degrade, I don’t mean calling it names and making it feel bad, I mean it will
RUIN it. So please, buy some water based lube to use with this toy.
This toy is good with a partner
or without. It has ridges on it designed to stimulate your G spot. It’s a nice
size and the curve helps it stay put, which is fabulous during solo play. I
like that the handle, which is super comfy, puts some pressure up near your clit
depending on the angle. I also liked that you can actually flip over onto your
stomach and it stays in! This is huge for those of us who enjoy grinding on our
stomachs or if you’re restrained on your stomach. No more slipping out, this
dildo stays put.
It says on the box that the
Handmaiden can be boiled or run through the dishwasher for cleanliness. Just
make sure you’re the one emptying the dishwasher so you don’t have to explain to
friends, roommates or children what the pink thing on the top shelf is. The
Handmaiden can also be frozen or microwaved if you want some extra sensation.
Please be careful if you’re microwaving it, especially if it’s not your pussy
you’re putting it into. Internal burns are not sexy, not sexy at all. Same
thing goes with icing. Some people (okay, me) have ice sensitivities and break
out in hives from ice. Hives = not sexy. So check with your partner before
putting hot or cold things in their bits.
Hustler Rocker Vibe
basic beginner vibes come in two sizes and a plethora of colors to match your
mood. Hustler recommends you collect them all. I’m not sure why, maybe so you
can have a vibe of the week collection? Monday is pink, Tuesday is blue,
Wednesday is purple and so on. I always liked days of the week underwear where
your underwear has what day it is on it. It’s a good way to keep track of your
week. Though you get strange looks when someone asks you what day it is and you
look down your pants.
Rocker Vibes are a beginner toy
according to Hustler and I can see why. This is the kind of vibe you might give
to someone who’s never owned a toy before. The vibrations are not very strong
and the style is very basic rocket style. Thumbs up for making it use double AA
I don’t have a huge amount to
say about the Rocket Vibes, except that they are exactly what you’d expect for a
beginner rocket vibe. They are totally inexpensive, which is awesome. I like
that Hustler is making sex toys affordable for everyone and the Rocket Vibe is
no exception. It also is a nice toy for travel since it’s very non-offensive
looking. You can’t pretend it’s just a massager, but it doesn’t look like a
giant penis. On the other hand, then you don’t get to watch the people at
airport security blush and stutter when they see a giant penis dildo in your
So, for all the virgins out
there reading these reviews, or all the moms wondering what first vibrator they
could get their daughters (kidding, I’m totally kidding. I would be mortified
if my mother gave me a vibrator. Though maybe you’re that kind of cool mom…)
this vibrator is a great, very first toy to play with, non-intimidating and
straightforward. It should hold you off for at least a month until you’re ready
to move up into more serious business.
Hustler Scandalous Skull
Hustler hits one out of the park. Hustler and I have had our disagreements in
the past, but this toy rocked. Plus it uses two double AA batteries rather than
the dreaded AAA batteries. And I have finally gotten smart enough to buy
The Scandalous Skull vibe is
red with etchings of a Day of the Dead style skull on it. Very cool, Hustler
scores for style. It’s a 7” vibe so it’s a satisfying size as well. It has
multiple speeds ranging from a sweet little buzz to an almost massage style
vibration. Versatility in vibrations is important and this toy delivers.
The shape is my favorite thing
though. Oh, the shape! It’s got a wider head, then it tapers down and then
evens out and widens again at the base, which means that when you’re using this,
you get to feel dirty but you don’t have to actually stretch out the pleasure
palace too much. My partner enjoyed watching while he used this vibe. It’s
strong enough to be used on the outside and the wider head covers lots of
Hustler’s Scandalous Skull is a
toy I would recommend for friends who are ready to move past the Rocket Vibes
and head into the world of more interesting sex toys. It’s just kinky enough to
rev up your imagination but not so scary that you wouldn’t use it. Plus the
skull keeps it from being too girly and the shape makes it interesting.
Something besides a pretend penis, this vibe is like a penis and a massager all
in one. The best of all worlds. Bravo, Hustler. Bravo.
Hustler Spice & Vice
Hustler, Hustler. We need to have a talk. Your packaging is still the bomb and
the names you come up with are adorable. Obviously when everyone is sitting
around eating muffins and drinking coffee in your meeting room, somebody is
coming up with good branding ideas. Maybe you even have a team of people
working on it. They deserve an A+ for the packaging.
their cute names and packaging ideas though, I have to wonder if these same
marketing people actually have kinky sex, because the practicality of these toys
is just not happening. You get a D- for in bedroom trials.
Spice & Vice is a cuff and blindfold set. The set is silver, which is a nice
change from black, hot pink and purple. However, the blindfold, which looks
like some sort of superhero mask without eye holes, doesn’t work. It’s too
stiff and too small. I could totally see out of it. Hustler, this defeats the
whole purpose of a blindfold. Don’t you have people test these products? I
didn’t even attempt to actually use it when playing with my partner, it was that
move on to the ‘cuffs’. The cuffs are not handcuffs but a tether designed to be
used for wrists or ankles. Kudos for attempting versatility, Hustler, but again
you need to TEST these products! And by test, I mean test them on a person
having sex, not just hanging out in an office giggling about how you are
‘restrained.’ We tried the tether cuffs on both my wrists and ankles. Here’s
the problem, it’s useless. So your hands are cuffed together, but there is
enough room between them so you can easily get out of them. Lame. How are you
supposed to get your submissive kink on when you know you can get out? My
imagination just isn’t that good these days, I want to actually be restrained.
So we tried
it on the ankles. It was a little shorter that way, but not short enough. So I
have no idea why you would put it on your ankles. You couldn’t restrain the
legs closed (kinky!) and you couldn’t spread them apart (very kinky!). So, why
would you put these around your ankles? It was about as sexy as when your pants
are around your ankles and you can’t get them off. It is okay for a quickie I
guess but if I’m pulling out restraints I want more than that. I want something
I want to like Spice & Vice but
I wouldn’t even recommend it for a novice friend because they wouldn’t be
getting the right experience. Hustler, re-do the product but keep the cute
packaging and name and then we’ll talk. Or I’ll let you do the talking while
I’m tied up properly and blindfolded.
Hustler Bad Girl Vibe
brass knuckles, only in pink plastic! And with a built in pocket rocket
vibrator! Hustler’s Bad Girl Vibe is probably my most visually favorite. This
is the vibe you want to pull out to show your friends because it's so cute and
funny. It's also completely workable and I like that you can just slip your
hand in for a good grip. Sometimes you need that extra pressure and it's
frustrating when you're in the middle of some solo action and you drop the vibe.
shapes are nice and all, but when you're looking for some old fashioned clit
pounding, you need something that isn't going to fly out of your hands. Bad
Girl Vibe is your best friend for that. I was surprised at how small the
opening for your hand is though. I have pretty small hands and couldn't get my
hand through very comfortably without wriggling to make it fit. It wasn't the
biggest deal in the world, but it certainly means my partner with his giant man
hands is not going to be able to help much. So this is definitely a solo toy,
besides, the whole brass knuckles things just screams "I don't need your
motherfucking cock anyway!", but in a totally adorable "I'm still a girl" kind
Hustlers Ben Wha???
recently received another care package with Hustler toys in it. I was
especially intrigued because Hustler included a package of Ben Wa balls. I have
always wanted to try Ben Wa balls and now I was going to get the chance.
I did a
little research on Ben Wa balls to try and figure out exactly how to use them.
There was a warning on the packaging that you should not use them for longer
than 15 minutes, but there was no explanation as to why...intriguing. It seems
that Ben Wa balls have been around for quite some time, but their origins are
vague. The general idea is that you insert the balls into your vagina and you
use your kegel muscles to hold them into place. The act of using your muscles
supposedly leaves you turned on, teased and also increases muscle tone.
Presumably this is so you can have the pussy of an 18- year-old virgin.
Ben Wa balls were made of gold plastic and about the size and weight of ping
pong balls. They didn’t offer any suggestions on what to do with them, so I
again turned to the internet for some advice.
to do some Ben Wa exercise and follow it up with some Ben Wa pleasure. I love
that they suggested sitting on a coin-operated massage chair. I’m not sure I’ve
ever seen a coin-operated massage chair. Maybe next time I get a pedicure I’ll
make it R rated and turn on the massage chair while I have Ben Wa balls in.
lay down to insert the Ben Wa balls. The balls were a little cold but I used a
little lube to ensure easy sliding and they went right in. I stood up….so far,
so good. I walked around. I couldn’t feel anything. I jumped around.
Nothing. I didn’t even have to consciously flex to keep the balls in. So much
for Ben Wa exercise. This must mean good things for my kegel muscles, right?
Since the walking around didn’t seem to be doing much of anything I decided to
turn to the pleasure part.
wasn’t around so I pulled out a vibrator and lay down. Masturbating was no
problem, though I admit I didn’t try and put the vibrator inside like they
suggested. The Ben Wa balls didn’t do anything one way or the other. I didn’t
even feel them at all. Disappointing. After coming, I went into the bathroom
to take them out. It had been fifteen minutes and I didn’t want to explode or
whatever it is that happens when you leave them in longer than fifteen minutes.
inside and hooked a finger around the first ball. Since I had a pretty decent
orgasm, the ball was coated with girly juice, which seems sexy until you’re
trying to pull it out of your vagina and it keeps slipping. I did retrieve it
finally and got ready to go back for the second ball, which was when I realized
that my vagina must have the power of a vacuum cleaner.
virgins have NOTHING on my incredibly powerful kegel muscles. Muscles that
seemed to have locked down on the Ben Wa ball and weren’t letting go. I have
small hands and my fingers couldn’t even get up far enough to do much more than
tickle the end of it. I squatted on the bathroom floor and tried again. I
could touch more of the ball but it was so slippery that it would just slide out
of my fingertips’ reach. I was having nightmarish visions of having to go the
emergency room to get the Ben Wa ball retrieved by some hot young doctor. Wait,
did I say nightmarish? Let me rethink this vision….
squatted and pushed down and managed to yank the ball out. It wasn’t pretty or
sexy or satisfying. My muscles are certainly strong enough to suck those
suckers in and keep them in, but apparently I could use work on pushing things
out. So if I use these again I will definitely plan on working on the pushing
out aspect. That way in a few months I can open my own side-show where I shoot
ping pong balls out of my pussy. Sweet!
all, I would not recommend the Hustler Ben Wa balls unless you have some
seriously weak muscles or extra long fingers to get them out. They are too
light to accomplish anything (a heavier ball might be more challenging or some
of those musical ones might be sexy) and they don’t have a string attached to
help you pull them out. Which leads me to my final point about these Ben Wa
balls. Whatever you do with them do NOT put these in your butt. With no string,
your butt will suck them up and YOU will end up in the ER getting them removed.
Of course then you might meet that hot young doctor I was fantasizing about……but
really, is it worth it? I don’t think so.
Hustler's Rebel Rocket
4" pocket vibe is shaped like a little flashlight but with nubbies on the ends.
I thought I was gonna love this toy. I took it with me into the shower one
morning to try it out. In theory, I want to love it. The lovely eggplant
color, the name Rebel Rocket, the nubbies....but alas, it wasn't meant to be.
It's not that the vibe didn't pack enough power or that the nubs didn't help
out. It's that the on/off mechanism on the bottom is incredibly hard to do and
almost impossible to do with wet hands. Call me lazy but I need a one handed
approach when it comes to my vibrators. I have better things to do with my
other hand than wrestle with getting my vibe on and off.
Once it was
on though, it did the job admirably enough. I love that it's waterproof. I
also should mention that again, Hustler hits it out of the park in terms of
packaging, user friendly toys, and affordability. I really admire their whole
campaign of wanting everyone to have some sex toys. I agree with that. This
toy works for solo missions and also for partner play. I didn't get a chance to
try this, but I'm betting the awesome vibrations with the nubbies would go over
well with men as well. You know, on those dark, sensitive areas that nobody
ever wants to talk about. This toy also gets high marks for using a AA battery,
which I have five hundred of sitting around the house, instead of a AAA battery.
Hustler’s Inky & Kinky
A Review by Erika Icon
it might sound a like a segment from Kat Von D’s “L.A. Ink,” it’s really the
latest and potentially greatest toy from Hustler’s toy division.
Not only is
the Inky & Kinky Vibe aesthetically pleasing with its beautifully painted purple
flowers, but it’s also light and easy to grip. The 5-inch vibe only takes a “AA”
battery and has three speeds that are very close in power, but gives a good
jolt, which is very important in a vibrator. This toy can be used internally or
externally — you can use it as a g-spotter or a vibrating dildo. The vibe is
phthalate free, which is good for people with allergies, who want to save the
environment or just don’t want nasty plastic chemicals near their most important
puts a lot of thought not only into the design of their toys, but also the
packaging which is simple, sleek and chic — and can be reused to store the toy.
I think it also makes people who are apprehensive of toys want to pick up and
buy it. Another thing that I like is how they list the calories burned using
each toy — this one says 62 calories, but I doubt I could use it non-stop that
The Inky &
Kinky also comes in black and purple. Vibrators can be like shoes and you can
get every color of one style. The retail is $35, but you can find it on sale for
a tad under $25. Makes a great gift, but you might be tempted to keep it for
yourself so you might want to get 2 or more.
A Review by Erika Icon
the packaging is awesome, you will want to pull this toy right out of the
package — well, as soon as you can stop singing Pat Benetar’s “Heartbreaker”
song. “You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love-taker…” But, I digress. OK,
maybe not the best name for a toy, but it could potentially break your man’s
heart when you find you like it better than him — men always seem to have this
fear and I have yet to find a toy that will replace a man.
did like this toy, and not just because it was g-spotter. It’s velvety soft and
easy to hold onto and it’s very light. I will admit, g-spotter toys are my
favorite because you get the job done, and quickly. And the three speeds are
pretty powerful, although not too much different from one another.
can be purchased at your local Hustler shop, Spencers (yes, the whacky retail
and online shop) or your local smut shop. It runs a tad under $25, which is
reasonable for a toy like this. Plus, it might become your favorite toy so you
can get rid of all the rest, and not have to buy anymore. And it can double as a
microphone when you sing “Heartbreaker” at karaoke. Kidding.
Hustler’s Yin Wang Dual
Vibrating Cock Rings
A Review by Erika Icon
opposites attract? Apparently, if they are cock rings. The Yin Wang Cock Ring
Set comes in a re-sealable Ziplock bag, which is great for storage. I like to
keep it in the bag under my partner’s pillow so I can just whip it out and put
it on his dick. It’s cool — you get a soft one and hard one. I preferred the
soft one. Since they are ying and yang symbols, they have a weird shape (and
that tail is pretty useless), but the vibration isn’t bad. It might take you a
few tries to figure out how to flip on the switch — it’s not indented very well
or labeled. And it comes with the batteries, which is a good thing since they
are those calculator-like ones.
I’m not a gay man (well, last time I looked, I was neither), I think this toy
would appeal to gay dudes. It aesthetically pleasing, works well, is easily
stored and isn’t too girly. Plus, the fit is awesome. And it can probably be
used solo while jerking off to prolong the fun — I’ll have to test that out
later and get back with you. Well, someone else will. Not sure if you can burn
the 42 calories in an hour that it states on the package if you aren’t actually
It’s a cool
little toy with a price tag of under $20. So, you really can’t go wrong if you
pick one up for yourself or give it as a gift. Tell Santa to put one under your
tree…or on your boyfriend’s dick.
A Review by Erika Icon
face it…anal sex can be scary. It’s always good to start small and work your way
up…with toys, that is. Well, this is definitely NOT a beginner’s toy and
probably why it’s labeled “professional” on the box. Only a porn chick or a girl
who’s an anal fiend can get this Godzilla-sized vibrating butt plug in her ass
with ease. Maybe, they should change the name to the Jenna Haze Pleasue Plug or
leave out the tagline of “Relax, It’s Just Sex”. The vibrations are awesome (all
three speeds) and the 3.5 inch size is great, but alas, it is too wide for us
mere mortals. It’s definitely something to work your way up to. Another cool
thing about this is that you can use it alone and don’t need your partner there
to help you out. Well, he (or she) can go get you the lube.
Provocative Pleasure Plug does come in two colors — pink and blue and, it’s
under $23, so you can’t beat that for a well-made toy that comes in such great
packaging. Another plus is you can use the butt plug (not the controller) in the
bath. If you’re not a “professional”, you might not want to try this at home
since the water will lessen the amount of lube in your ass, even if you use the
proper lube (anal lube), which is thicker. I’m also curious as to how using this
can allow you to burn 52 calories an hour — that’s what the package says.
Hustler’s Mini Mistress
A Review by Erika Icon
off, this toy is my two favorite colors — pink and black. It also comes in
purple and black. The next thing that occurred to me is how much the Mini
Mistress Massager looks like a mini Hitachi Magic Wand, which is one of my
all-time favorite toys. It even has a plug/adapter, like the Magic Wand — yes,
no batteries and it probably won’t run up your electric bill (you just have to
remember to pay it so you can play with your new toy.) And apparently, you can
plug it into the USB ports of your computer. That’s awesome if you like to
masturbate in front of your computer, which I doubt most girls do. But, if you
have a laptop, you can go into the bedroom, too.
massager is labeled “beginner”, but I think the five crazy speeds would be too
much for the beginner. And whether you’re a beginner or a pro, it’s always a
good idea to use a dab (or more) of lube. This toy isn’t as powerful as the
Magic Wand, but it’s pretty damn good. And a Magic Wand goes for $50 when this
toy is almost $60. If it were cheaper, I would say go for it. But, since it’s
more, I’d say go with the original. I’m sure you could burn more than the 88
calories an hour listed on the Hustler box. By the way, even thought the
packaging is awesome, it’s flimsy and will fall apart shortly after the toy is
removed from the box. Guess you’ll just have to hide it under your pillow. Or
leave it out and pretend that you’re having back problems and need to remove the
Pipedream Toys Britney
Bitch Love Doll
A Review by Erika Icon
loved the box so much with the Britney Spears lookalike pictured (only this girl
has way bigger boobs) and the “Oops! She did it again!” tagline. The paparazzi
on the back of the box are really ingenious and one of them looks a lot like
their Marketing Manager. For some reason, I get all excited when I see love doll
boxes and one that looked like Britney Spears made my day. It would have been
funnier if it came out in her heyday. But, it’s probably a good idea they waited
since there has been an uproar over their Jessica Love Doll, J-Ho Fantasy Doll,
Paris Love Doll and Kinky Kim Filthy Love Doll — I guess Jessica Simpson, J-Lo,
Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian didn’t see the humor of being made into a blow
don’t look at all like the box — Pipedream did a decent job. It’s got the
typical 2-inch holes (or as the box says “3 Toxic Love Holes”) that you could
never get your dick all the way into. And like the real Britney, she’s not
wearing underwear on the photos on the box, nor does the doll come with
underwear. Just blow her up and crank up the karaoke machine. Well, if you’re
price runs about $25. The Superstar Series Britney Bitch Love Doll makes a great
bachelor gift or gag gift to terrorize the office perv.
Bear Hug Vibe
A Review by
toy is adorable, which makes me slightly uncomfortable. I'm not so much into
“cute” sex and cute sex toys make me feel a little funny. Like maybe I should
be wearing knee socks and a plaid skirt while I use them. The Bear Hug Vibe
comes in hot pink or purple and they've really paid attention to detail. The
vibe itself (medium sized, not too long and not too big) has bamboo trees,
butterflies, bees and flowers on it. Pretty, no? The clitoral stimulator is a
little bear with his hands held out in front of him. Awwwww, he wants to hug
is waterproof so the first thing I did is jump in the tub to test it out. After
turning it on and watching it 'swim' around the tub for a few minutes (and
wondering why I'm not taking a video of my vibrator swimming around the tub) I
put it to use. It had the right amount of power and was a nice size.
Definitely waterproof (though I admit I'm really not getting the whole
masturbating in the bath tub thing. Maybe I'm missing something??) and wasn't
so big that I felt like I had to pull out the big fantasies to get into it. The
little clit bear did his job wonderfully. I'm wondering if you turned the vibe
around if maybe the little clit bear could become a little butt bear. That
could be really good! This toy was marked intermediate which kind of made me
giggle. Maybe it's that if it goes inside it qualifies as intermediate.
Cat & Mouse
A Review by
& Mouse was the most awesome in terms of packaging. A hot pink computer mouse
that when you turn on lights up and changes colors! It's attached by about a
two and a half foot cord to a small vibrator that looks like a very tiny thick
penis. The vibe turns on where you would turn a computer mouse on to scroll
down the pages. It's a cool concept and a great gag gift for someone who's into
computers, but beyond the conceptual part it didn't work as well for me. It's
awkward to play with. It feels like the 'mouse' should be on a flat surface and
how often do you masturbate right near the table or your desk? Again, if it was
wireless it would be freaking awesome! Then you could take it to work and leave
the mouse on your desk and pretend to work when actually you're totally
masturbating. Kinky!! I would buy this toy as a gift for someone but not as an
addition to my toy box. I will say that what it does do well is vibrate. It
packs a better punch than the Wing Fling and I like the thickness of the little
vibe. If I had to pick between the two I'd pick Cat & Mouse. But really, I'd
rather have a Bear Hug. Wouldn't you?
Twice The Love
A Review by
the Love is a double vibration cock ring, only available in purple. Why is that?
Maybe guys object to pink? Though I'm not sure my guy cared at all about the
color. It could have had flowers and rainbows on it and he would have liked it.
It came with its batteries (button cell batteries) which was nice. The top
looked like a little tiny ball sac. It went on easily enough (love that
stretchy material) but the ring could have been a little wider for a little more
comfort. The man says "there's always something good about having something
tight around your cock that vibrates". Enough said. From a couples point of
view, the vibrating was nice though could be kind of distracting. I really
appreciated that they made the top larger though as it made it easier for him to
press it into me. He reported a longer than normal orgasm which sounds
promising. The switches were kind of hard to find and the way they were set up
was a bit of a challenge for anyone with big fingers but they were discreet and
you couldn't accidently bump them off. This is a toy that will probably get
used again and again since it gives us both something a little extra. This toy
is also intermediate.
A Review by
Fling is a Beginner toy. It's a hands free, strap on, butterfly vibe. It's a
gorgeous dark purple. The butterfly is kind of large and actually looks a bit
more like a moth than a butterfly. Not that this is relevant to if it will get
you off or not, but if you're squeamish about moths maybe you would want to know
that. It has thin straps that hook around your waist and then around each leg.
The butterflies tail presses on your clit (at least that's how I had it set
up....that could be wrong. These things never come with instructions on ways to
use them. Or at least I haven't seen one yet...) and attaches to a short cord
with a remote…except it's not really a remote since it has a cord. Here's where
I'm going to admit something very non 'sex' like of me. I don't get the whole
hands free thing. I mean, what's the point? The butterfly is too large to fit
underneath your clothing. I put it on and put underwear over it and it looked
like I had a little penis. Not hot. Unless that's your thing, in which case
this is the toy for you. Since the cord to the remote was only about three
feet long, it really wasn't long enough to give to someone else unless they were
sitting right next to you. And if they're sitting right next to you holding a
remote, they can damn well get busy with their hands on you too. Right?
maybe it's not a couple’s toy. Maybe it's a solo expedition. So I sat on the
couch and turned that sucker up high. And though it felt good, it felt good
like when someone gives you a shoulder rub. It's lovely, you want it to go on
and on but it's not necessarily getting you to an orgasm. For me, that's what
happened with Wing Fling. Maybe it's because I'm already at Intermediate toys?
I'm just too experienced for beginners! I could see this kind of toy being
awesome if it was a cordless remote or was discreet enough to wear out. Now
that would be kinky. Then it would probably be more of an intermediate toy. I
wonder where does that fall on the ranking scale? Expert? Intermediate? Extra
really liked the whole Hustler line and their concept. I think the packaging is
incredibly user friendly and updated. Black and white is always in style. The
toys are high quality and user friendly and definitely something I would
purchase for myself or for others.
TCB (Taking Care of
Business) by California Exotic Novelties
A Review by
little blue pocket rocket was small, waterproof and got the job done. It takes
one AAA battery which is a little bit of a pain because who has those around the
house? I have at least 30 AA batteries but not even one AAA. Luckily, it came
with it's own battery so until I wear the first one out, I'm covered. I haven't
tried the waterproof portion of this little cutie, but I'm sure it will work
just fine in the tub. The size is nice for traveling and the sound was fairly
discreet. The TCB has three speeds though there isn't a huge difference between
the three. Still, it was nice to be able to switch between them depending on
what you were using it for. It's mostly good for outside stimulation (and in
fact, it's not recommended for internal stimulation or medical use...wha?
Medical use??? WTF?!) and does a nice job of spicing up some good ole
intercourse with just the right amount of technology. It's also a good couples
toy since it is guaranteed not to make your man feel "less than". I would
recommend this little vibrator for couples play, single play and even a little
butt buzzing. Again, not on the inside, just a little extra zing for the outside
The Easy Ona-Cap Egg
A Review by
off, this egg came with no English instructions, which led to googling, which
led to hilarious product statements from the manufacturer such as “For women who
are uncomfortable with performing oral sex to completion, when near the end,
simply silde on a well-lubricated masturbator, and he will not even notice the
difference. I don't know about your man, but mine could tell the difference, not
that he didn't enjoy it, but The Easy Ona-Cap Egg does not equal mouth.
said, the egg provided some nice stimulation and some interesting fun to start
the night off. It looks like a white clown nose and comes in a cute little egg
package (oh you Japanese! Now where's the Hello Kitty Ona Egg?). When asked to
rate the performance of the egg right out of the gate, I was told it was an
eight out of ten and better than a plain old hand job. Overall though it was
not even close to sex. But let's face it, anyone who could be having sex is
probably not going to be using the Ona Egg. Unless they're with me and I'm
forcing them to test out Japanese Sex Toys. It's a rough job, but somebody has
to do it. Sigh. Back to work. So I lubed up the old egg and put it on for
him. It made squishy noises and kind of resembled a giant condom when stretched.
Sexy? No, not really. A good couples toy? No, definitely not. But a decent
toy for a drunken solo hotel encounter? Yeah, that would probably work.
However, my honey is like most guys in that respect and said that in the end
he'd rather have sex with his girl or just lube up the hand and turn on some
good old fashioned porn. He did say that more testing is in order though (I'm
thinking he liked it more than he let on) and that he would get back to me with
a follow up report on how well the The Easy Ona-Cap Egg held up.
Adam & Eve Toys: Bum
Buddies: Tease My Tush
A Review by Erika Icon
orange and has the word “tush” in the title — definitely NOT two selling points.
Apparently, it’s also available in bright red. Bum Buddies from Adam & Eve is
supposed to be for beginners — in my opinion, it’s still a little large for
virgin ass. Not exceedingly large, but a tad too big.
of 1.2 inches is perfect — it’s just the length of 3.5 inches that seems about
ahalf-inch too big. You can use it as a sex toy to be fucked up the ass or walk
around with it in your ass to “train” your ass (meaning you’re working your way
up to bigger toys and/or bigger dick up your ass).
that it’s “T” shaped does allow for it to easily fit in and stay in your ass.
Well, if you want it to. The gradual tapering makes it easy to get in an out and
this feature is missing on a lot of anal toys. Not only is it waterproof, but
you can freeze it for a chill up there or microwave it for a little hot fun. But
you can’t use silicone lube on it, even though it’s an anal toy — you need to
use a water-based lube so it doesn’t destroy the toy.
With a name
like Tease My tush, this is also a great gag gift or wedding shower gift. It’s
bound to get a laugh. But if they actually use it, they will see it’s a great
toy. And it’s under $20, so it’s definitely affordable. Go it one—you know you
Adam & Eve Toys: Clit
Dancer Waterproof Mini Massager
A Review by Erika Icon
off, the Clint Dancer is pink, my favorite color. The Pocket Rocket has been
done over so many times that it’s hard to reinvent it — but, leave it to Adam &
Eve to find something. The massager comes with 4 attachments and a round tip,
which is great for a little pussy play. The small nubbed one is great for some
g-spot action. And the attachments are actually different enough that you can
feel a whole new kind of Big “O” with each one.
fact that it says “Adam & Eve” on it in red, it’s actually very discreet. It can
fit right in the make-up bag of your purse or in an evening bag. Well, that’s
for the ladies. Men who like a small vibrator up the ass or in the taint area
for some prostate pleasure will even like this one.
uses only one AA battery, which is very cool. The only issue is that it only has
one speed — most Pocket Rockets have multiple speeds that you can achieve by
twisting the top. But the upside is that you won’t have to monkey with that.
It’s also great for the bath — just be sure to not submerge it too long and
water and let it dry out after cleaning it. It’s under $20 and a no-brainer to
add to your collection.
Adam & Eve Toys: Head
Gear BJ Strap
A Review by
remember all those times that a guy pushed your head down when you gave him a
blow job? Yeah, well Adam & eve’s Head Gear BJ Strap is the same idea, but gives
him even more control, only this is way more comfortable on your neck.
Basically, the guy holds it firmly behind the girl’s head — it is held in place
with metal grips and it allows the guy to control the depth and pace and will
keeps the girls face right where he wants it until the pop shot/money-maker
The toy can
also be shared with two gay men or two men using a strap-on. The faux leather is
soft against the skin. This is the type of toy that is great for amateurs or
beginners dabbling in domination. This is the type of toy a couple will
definitely find ways to get creative with, like using a mouth full of Altoids
with it (no, it’s not an urban legend).
For a girl
like me who is the Queen of BJs (yes, I have a crown), this toy is kind of too
amateur. The aesthetic is also a bit strange and it’s kind of like buying
something off an infomercial that you don’t really need. Novelty yes — necessity
no. It is under $20, so you’re not out a gang of cash if you do decide to go and
pick one up. And like all toys, you will need to wash it with soap and water.
Adam & Eve Toys:
Sinners’ Naughty Playtime Kit
A Review by Erika Icon
you are a real dominatrix or have dabbled in domination, you will find Adam &
Eve’s Sinners’ Naughty Playtime Kit rather outrageous. But, if you live in the
Midwest having vanilla sex and want to “spice things up a bit,” then this is the
fetish kit for you.
comes with a blindfold, whip and feather tickler. The best part is that it’s my
favorite colors — pink and black. The whip is tame and won’t really have you
feeling pain even if the person using it on you has no skills. The feather
tickler is cheesy and not nearly big enough. And, the blindfold is lined with
faux silk, so it’s definitely comfortable on the eyes whether they are opened or
This is a
perfect bachelorette, 21st birthday or friends who like in Podunk
gift — will even work as a gag gift. Seriously, It’s under $15, so it’s no a
huge investment. Anybody who knows anything about BDSM and/or fetish will laugh
at this kit. I had a good laugh when it showed up in my mailbox. I’m a much
bigger fan of the Sportsheets Beginner Dominatrix Kit that only comes with a
mask, fishnet stockings and mini crop, but add in the wristbands and the collar
and you become way beyond beginning fetishist. For a few more dollars, you’ll be
much happier and so will the person who receives it as a gift. Crack the whip
and find out.
Doc Johnson Toys:
Twisted Hearts Lust
A Review by Erika Icon
toy says it’s “designed by women for women” — although this may be a key selling
point, it had me completely skeptical. Well, some of these women must be my
girlfriends, because this toy actually rocked and rolled. It’s small and fits
well in your hand — the rubber material that’s firm and soft and unusual
heart-shape were great for getting a good grip and getting off. It was a nice
orgasm that was slow yet fast.
downside was the dreaded AAA batteries — foiled again! Of course, there was a
fieldtrip to Target. I guess that I will have to keep a stockpile since AAs are
being used less in the adult toys. Sadly. The packaging is very girl-friendly —
pink, black and white to match the lavender and white toy. And the rubber is
phthalate-free, so you can feel safe with it in our outside of your pussy. Plus,
it’s under $30, so it’s an affordable way to add to your own personal arsenal of
toys. You might love it so much that it could be the top toy in your collection.
Makes a great gift, as well.
Hustler Toys: Gossip
A Review by Erika Icon
might look like a cute little ring you by at Macy’s but this little rubber ring
is a vibrator in disguise — well, to most people who aren’t porn aficionados. A
woman can wear the Gossip Ring on her hand and pleasure herself or have her man
go down on her and use the ring. Plus, it can double as a cock ring (well, if
you can convince your man to put a purple rubber flower on his dick). You can
also use it in the car when stuck in traffic, if you’re wearing a skirt ad
preferably no underwear.
options were explored when I used this toy. The actual vibrations of the toy
were quite small, considering that the ring was a decent size. Positive selling
points about the toy are that it can be used in the bath, bends really well for
good traction and orgasm abilities, and does come with the 1.4 volt size
batteries it requires (I mean who has those laying around — certainly not me).
was not impressed — this item is along the lines of the purple, rubber vibrating
shower ducky. The toy is more of a novelty and would make an excellent
bridesmaid gift or topper on top of another gift (especially for one of your
uptight lady friends. The packaging is smart and chic, so it could be a gift in
itself, as well. With a price tag of just under $25, you could definitely give
Hustler Toys: Naughty
Pom Pom Vibrator Toy
A Review by Erika Icon
I have to laugh. The Naughty Pom Pom Vibrator is red and really resembles a
rocket ship. It’s supposed to be a vibe with pom pom material on the end for
little rah, rah, rah in the bedroom. Use it on the outside as a g-spotter or
insert it like a dildo. The pom poms make it easy to pull it out when the time
comes. Outside of the fact of the pom poms, it’s just like any other vibe,
except it is exceptionally long at just at 7.5 inches. It’s also really hard.
It’s labeled as a “beginner” toy and I would agree with that if you don’t use it
as a dildo, or even an anal toy (well, for the pros).
As a dildo,
it might even be bigger than your man and will be a secret pleasure for you, for
sure. Although it uses a pair of batteries, which isn’t something you would have
laying around the house, it comes with them. The batteries that come with it
don’t last for long, so you’ll want to stock up and have a back up if you really
like this toy
Hustler Toys it comes in the handy re-sealable package, which is great if you
don’t have a toy box or yours is jam packed like mine. It’s under $25 which I
reasonable for a vibe that can double as a dildo. If you can get past the hokey
pom pom strings and red rhinestones, you’ll probably like this one for more
reasons than one. Go, team, go.
Hustler Toys: Sinful
A Review by Erika Icon
another anal toy to add to the reviews! I like these new Hustler toys a lot.
First off, the name fits it perfectly and it very kitsch. The actual aesthetic
of the toy along with the packaging is quite keen. It’s pretty ingenious that
these toys come in a re-sealable pouch. You have somewhere that’s airtight and
germ-free to store it (well, as long as you remember to clean it carefully and
not put it back in the package until it’s 100% dry).
Screw is nearly six inches, but you don’t have to put it all the way in — unless
you can and you want to. The twists help it glide in easily and give you extra
added pleasure sensitivity. The bottom shaft is made so that’s easy to hold
onto and insert whether you or your partner are doing the insertion. This toy is
perfect for the beginner or advanced anal connoisseur, so it’s not a toy you
will feel you need to replace anytime soon — that’s always the problem with
beginning anal toys, unless they are sold as a graduated set. Also, it’s not too
hard or soft — it’s just perfect. And for under $15, it’s a steal. I’m not a fan
of most anal toys, but this one has won me own.
Pipedreams Toys: Lil’
A Review by Erika Icon
of the cool things about Pipedreams’ toys is the amazing packaging. I know that
if I saw this in the store, I would have run right up to it with its Goth/angel
packaging. It’s swirly and girly, too. It might only be a few inches high, but
this little vibe is power-packed and will give you some amazing orgasms. And the
actual toy is pink with a pink butterfly on top, but it also available in light
blue. Drop it in your purse and be able to deal with rush hour better. Be brave
and whip it out at work and be clandestine. The motor is so quiet and will
definitely go undetected.
you won’t believe how quiet it is. Which might not be the case with the noises
you’ll make while orgasming with it. It’s waterproof, so you can take it in the
spa or the shower. It’s under $15 so you can get one for yourself and one for
your friend, or even get two for yourself so you have a back up. And make sure
to have the AAA batteries on hand—yes, this is another toy that requires them.
But fortunately, it only needs on battery that seems to last and last.
Delay Spray for Men
by Adam & Eve
A Review by Erika Icon
Adam & Eve product that’s exclusive to their website claims to have “more
staying power than cock rings!” I would like to say that I think not. First off,
it smells (it’s not odorless like the label claims)—it would be way better if it
had a cologne scent that pretty much screamed “hot sexy man”. Secondly, it a
desensitizing formula, which means once you spray it on your dick you feel
nothing. That’s right, nothing. Using it reminded me of the time that my old
boyfriend used Seika’s Anal Ease for a little butt play—the guy couldn’t feel
his dick for hours. And, I didn’t really feel him in there—this product is
pretty much the same idea. But, you can use it anally or vaginally. It is
“flavorless” and “greaseless” like the packaging claims—I will agree with that.
And even though it has a price tag of under $8, I would suggest you take that
cash and invest in some rubber or other stretchy material type of cock ring that
will be more effective and be able to be used over and over. Plus, you can’t
have sex for 10 minutes after you spray it on your dick—looks like the only
delay will be in actually having sex and you just might lose that woody.
Le Réve by Pipedream
A Review by Erika Icon
Réve means the dream in French. The packaging is quite amazing like all
Pipedream toys, but when I actually opened the box I was a bit disappointed
seeing this non-aesthetically pleasing vibe. It’s a curved g-spotter toy that I
got in red, but it comes in black and white, as well. This toy looks so 80s and
could misconstrued as a telephone from that time period.
my initial concerns, this toy really surprised me. It has many speeds and you
just push the plus or minus buttons to get there. Strangely, there is no on and
off switches so you have to just keep turning the vibration down to turn it off.
Additionally, it is far from being quiet. It is quite hard (the actual toy), but
I was surprised that it did the trick and could be used inside or outside, plus
on your tits or your male partner’s taint or the inside of his legs. There’s
just so many ways you can use it. I will say that you need to use plenty of lube
if you’re using it as a vibe on inside your pussy or outside on your clit. You
should always use lube with toys, but with harder toys like this, it is
definitely a must.
$30 price tag and sophisticated packaging will make it a great gift for yourself
or your girlfriend. The sophisticated packaging makes it look like you spent
twice as much. Sadly, this deluxe toy takes AAA batteries, which is one of my
pet peeves. Fortunately, I had 2 left from the last time I had to purchase them.
It is easy to install them and there’s no guesswork like with some toys, where
you spend 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get the batteries in.
Lil’ Flutter Vibe by
A Review by Erika Icon
my God, it’s so cute and little and there’s a little butterfly on top of this
pink mini vibe. And like all Pipedream packaging, it’s fantastic and this one
seems raver-inspired with a touch of My Little Pony thrown in there. Really.
makes the vibe very convenient—you can toss it into your purse, hide it in your
drawer at work (won’t it be fun when someone riffles through you desk and finds
that), or even leave it by the bed and it will go undetected as a sex toy. And
with the pink color, you’d think it would come with a Barbie doll or something.
the small size, this tiny toy delivers the orgasms and in a big way. Also, it’s
virtually silent, which makes it easier to use it anywhere and discreetly. You
can sneak into the ladies room and give it a whirl—a great way to get rid of
some midday stress in the corporate world, ladies.
$10-12 price range, it’s a steal for this little toy. If you give it as a gift,
it looks really decadent and someone will think you spent a lot more than you
really did. You might just want to buy a bunch and carry them around in your
purse and give them to your girlfriends—it’s a great anxiety buster and bound to
put a smile on your face. And it comes it purple and light blue/aqua.
Neon Jr. G-Spot
Softees by Pipedream
A Review by Erika Icon
toys claim to be g-spotters, but fail to deliver. Pipedreams is completely
honest about the name and the claim this toy makes. This toy comes in 6 colors,
but I got it in yellow. It’s extremely bright (thus the “neon” in the name of
the toy). Despite the fact it’s a “softee” toy, it’s rubbery on the outside but
pretty hard on the inside. It would be nice it if were a bit more rubbery. But
this miniature toy really gets the job done. I decided to be adventurous and
took it in the shower—let’s just say that I left it in there and I really don’t
care who sees it. I mean that purple vibrating duck wasn’t clandestine, so why
not just be the freak that I am. The box says that you can take it into the hot
tub but that just sounds like a bad idea, since they seem to be breeding grounds
for fungus, mold and other scary types of nasty shit. I think I will pass on
that adventure—the tub might be a better venue. This toy is small enough to fit
nicely in a small purse and could be used during rush hour traffic to make it oh
so much more bearable.
part is that you can find it online for $10 or less. Affordable toys—nice! It’s
a great stocking-stuffer for Christmas or Channukah. Or it could be a good
little gift on top of a bigger gift (like a Pez taped to the top of another
gift, only not a Pez). This is the first Pipedream toy that I have owned and I
have to say that I’m impressed.
Perfectly Hot Pink
Vibrator by Adam & Eve
A Review by Erika Icon
I opened up the box and saw this all I could say was “wow”. Seriously, this is
one big dildo/vibrator. I guarantee if your man sees this one, he will get
jealous. Just stand it up on the black twist part on your nightstand by the bed
and watch the envy begin—seriously, your man or FB might think a bigger, more
accommodating and potentially quieter model has replaced him. It’s 7” long and
1.5” wide, like the perfect-sized man (well, for us size queens). The cool part
is it’s made out of cybersilicone, which mimics skin and genuinely feels like
real skin. And the head is very flexible, so you can hit your “spot” quite
nicely, thank you very much. You can use it as just a dildo but its fun to use
it as a vibrating dildo or vibrator (for use on the outside/clit area) as well.
This hot piece of man meat is great for deep penetration.
2 AA batteries, which is convenient. And it’s cute that’s a girly hot pink
color. And apparently the cybersilicone surface makes it harder for bacteria and
little particles to get stuck to it—this is definitely a plus, but it does not
replace cleaning it with each use. I didn’t try it in the tub, but apparently
it’s waterproof. I think it would be awesome to use in a bubble bath, because
it’s just decadent like that. It’s almost $30 but considering its multiple uses
and ability to get the job done more than satisfactorily, you won’t mind the
price tag all that much. OK, I’ll be honest—run, don’t walk and get one of these
on the Adam & Eve site or local toy store. Or if you’re a porn chick, add it to
that wish list.
Plumb Crazy Vibrating
Orgasm Balls by Adam & Eve
A Review by Erika Icon
have always wanted some Ben Wa balls and this is the closest toy I have ever
possessed to that. Cute contract girl, Bree Olsen, is on the front wearing a
purple bikini to match the color of the toy—kind of ingenious. I will say the
purple color did bring Miss Piggy of the Muppets fame to mind—not what you want
to be thinking about when you’re about to have or trying to have the Big “O”.
part of this toy is there are multiple ways to use it—you get two one-inch
diameter balls that are connected to a 20-inch cord that connects to the
controller. You can put one ball in your ass and the other in your pussy—or put
both balls in your pussy or ass. Just make sure you clean them well, if you
shift the location of either or both balls. You also get four speeds on the
controller—from light to heavy, depending on how much you can stand. It’s good
to start out light and work your way up, changing the speeds—it’s a great way to
tease yourself. Unlike ben wa balls, this toy is strictly for the bedroom. I
have heard many a story of ladies venturing out with ben wa balls up inside of
them and the balls fall out when they are on the escalator at the mall—an urban
legend, I think not.
can also be used on a man, if you can convince him to put one or both balls in
his ass. Good luck with that one. It can also be used in the bathtub, which is
always a plus.
liked that this toy took “AA” batteries that I have handy around the house. The
noise level isn’t too loud, so it’s OK to give it a whirl, even if you have
houseguests camped on your couch in the living room (that was my dilemma this
week). The under $25 price tag is very reasonable—it’s a great gift for you or a
nice bridal shower gift that’s more original than some sleazy lingerie.
Adam & Eve’s Prostate Pro 5
A Review by Erika Icon
love it when I get toys in the mail for guys. My guy friends get all geeked.
Remember my one friend that I gave the blow-up Bree Olsen Love Doll to? Well my
same friend, The Pirate, scored yet again. I just want to say it’s not easy to
give a man a prostate toy. The first response is always “this shit is for gay
guys.” And then I inform them that this is so not true—the toy market for
straight men has grown something like 400% in the last few years. Must be all
the single lonely guys that are just tired of chasing tail or maybe they just
can’t get enough. Who knows?
So according to The Pirate,
the Prostate Pro 5 is pretty magical. The multi-speed controller is something
I’ve personally never seen on a “P-Toy” and he agreed that it was cool. But, he
also thought it reminded him of a vibrator. The toy forced him to do some
research (which entailed calling me, (the former sex advice columnist) to learn
about what the p-spot is. He liked that he could use it alone or with Miss
Pirate (or his saucy on-the-side wench) and was able to have a big “O” with
little to no work. Turning up the speed controller helped and moving it around
in different positions until he got to the spot is what worked. He gave it a 4
out of 5 thumbs up and wants me to let you know that it’s so not gay and to go
get one. Really. And he might be tempted to take it in the shower or bath, but
Adam & Eve’s Taffy Tickler Glow To
A Review by Erika Icon
I saw this toy, I’ll admit I got more than a little happy. My first thought was
it’s so small and I can use it in my car—it has a thing that you can just
connect it up to your keychain. But then I was thinking everyone would know what
it was if they saw it. Then I remembered that everyone knows I’m a freak and
strangers can bite my butt if they see it and have some judgment.
The exciting thing about the
toy is the batteries are already in there. Yep, three calculator batteries. I
like it when I can open the package and go ahead and use the toy. I did bring it
in the car and tried to discreetly use it in rush hour traffic. I don’t carry
around lube, so I had to get excited on my own. I will say this little toy did
not disappoint. The nubs were awesome and I love the pink and green raver
colors. It also glows in the dark, which is cool because even though it’s small,
I can always find it. And it definitely makes sitting in traffic much more
The only problem I had with
this toy is that it takes three calculator batteries. They are expensive and not
easy to get in correctly. Fortunately, it hasn’t needed a battery change, yet.
Also, the $16.95 price tag seems a bit high for something so small and
innocuous. It makes a great gift for a bachelorette party or for an uptight
Pipedream Extreme’s Cum Sponge
A Review by Erika Icon
guy toy. Masturbators are much easier to get guys to use. The Pirate got this
one too. He saw “Celeste” on the cover and the giant close up of a pussy and a
rabbit/vibrator and he was totally down to give it a spin. I don’t believe
“Celeste” is an actual porn chick, but she is quite a naked hottie sucking on
her index finger and playing with her vibe toy with her legs spread wide open.
Essentially, it’s a
masturbator that is made of a sponge and meant to be disposed of after one use.
It comes with lube that you oil it up with. Then, you look at the pic of
“Celeste” (or form a mental one of some hottie in your head) and go to town. The
Pirate tells me he lasted less than 10 minutes and his orgasm was pretty sweet.
He thought about using it a second time, but didn’t want to wash it out or put
the Little Pirate in there again without washing it.
The price tag is under $4,
which is a good thing, since it’s supposed to be used only once. It would be
nice to get multiple uses and it’s not the most environmentally conscious toy.
It’s great for a gag gift at a bachelor party or to anonymously leave on your
uptight boss’ desk for a little afternoon delight—just don’t get caught, because
you’ll have some serious explaining to do. I’m sure they could also market this
as a gay male toy, if they put some steamy, chiseled Latin guy on the cover
Secret Diary of a
Anonymous - (Grand Central Publishing)
by Erika Icon
Diary of a Call Girl” was originally titled “Belle de Jour” (or in English
“Beauty of the Day/”) Although the HBO series is a hit, the book falls flat -
I’m not sure how it became a “celebrated and steamy international bestseller” as
it is touted on the cover.
just a little jaded, but this book seemed really tame. Even though it’s written
anonymously, there’s not much to remain anonymous about, unless this woman
didn’t want her family and/or friends to know - and if that were the case she
could have used a nom de plume.
say the first couple of chapters were pretty riveting, but it’s all down hill
from there. It’s interesting that she got into the business by going home with a
couple and the man slipped her a wad of cash, as her cab pulled away. I also
find it interesting that despite her college education, she was unable to hold
down a job, even as a receptionist or assistant. So, being a hooker or kept
woman made sense, in her case. I also think it’s cool she’s bisexual and writes
overall, it seems like she’s hiding something. The stories of her clients and
sexual exploits leave much (OK, a lot) to the imagination. It was kind of like
reading the Eartha Kitt bio - you expect this woman to let you know all the
dirt, but it’s more like a nun’s tale. Also, the plot line about her boyfriend
(who she refers to as “The Boy”) and how that went down really isn’t believable.
And the fact that her male friends have numbers and letter combinations (A1, A2,
A3 and A4) instead of using even made up names makes it confusing as to who is
full price for the book, which was $13.99 and definitely not worth it. I would
suggest watching it on HBO, it is much more sexy and not a waste of time
Adam & Eve’s Bubble
by Erika Icon
the package of toys to review came, I pulled this out first and was a little
scared. It was in a giant box that was far larger than the actual toy. You’d
think the thing was Godzilla-sized from the size of the box. When I took it out,
I got happy.
Eve’s Bubble Plug has a 7-inch shaft which is nice in a man and in a toy. You
can use either end—the bulb or graduated beads. It can be used in your ass or
snatch. I tried the snatch. The ass would be better with a partner, which I
didn’t have on the day I went to town with this little guy.
first take it in your hands you’ll love how it feels. I got turned on before I
even used it with how soft, flexible and good it felt. I liked the graduated end
because the bulb was good for a double orgasm of the clit kind. Yes. And, it’s
black, which is nice for a little fantasy action. Being black, it’s very classy
and if someone found it, it wouldn’t scream trouble since it’s not hot pink, I’m
waterproof, but I wouldn’t recommend any lube toy to be used in water, since the
water can make the lube disappear. Trust me, it won’t be a disappearance that
use I would recommend is for gay men or guys that like a little more than a
tongue up their ass. It will really get them off. Not a lot of toys outside of
giant dildos for the men. But this toy could double for a man or a woman. You’ll
want to clean it off after each use and/or insertion into new body parts. Keep
it clean and everything will be OK.
Bubble Plug toy is a little pricey at almost $25, but it’s unusual and not like
anything else you’re likely to find in your local toy or adult shop.
Adam & Eve’s Double
Delicious Mini Dual Dong
by Erika Icon
girl wouldn’t like a double-ended dong?!
these toys are too long and huge to use alone, but not this one. That’s what the
Adam & Eve’s Double Delicious Mini Dual Dong was intended for. I also like that
the two ends are diametrically different — one is ribbed and the other is nubbed
or bubbly. It’s flexible and very easy to orgasm with, which is a rarity about
any toy (including vibrators) on the market.
liked the tactile feel of the toys, as well. It’s translucent and jelly-like.
Seriously, I wanted to put it in my mouth and suck on it. I’m sure any man would
love to see that trick after it’s been in my snatch. Or maybe I could get him to
suck on it. But, I digress. Another great thing is it requires no batteries.
it’s waterproof, but I haven’t had a chance to use it in the bath — maybe
another adventure. Although using toys in water that require lube is risky
business/ Another thing I didn’t try was using this anally, which you can do. It
might be a little large to start, so you might have to train your ass to accept
a toy this size. Tthe beginning of the ribbed end could work as a start (it’s
graduated in size and so is the bubbled end).
$20 price tag is great, too. You can get one for yourself or give it as a gift
to your woman or your best friend at her bachlorette party (or if she’s in need
of toys to pleasure herself because she’s got no man or prospects).
Adam & Eve Kayden
Frosted Ice Silicone Cock Rings
by Erika Icon
guys think cock rings are gay and won’t even consider using them. I believe this
a huge mistake. The cock rings can make a man last longer, have harder erections
and if they have nubs or other extras, they can give the woman more of an
orgasm. I believe it is orgasmic magic. But this also depends on the materials
used to make a cock ring. Metal ones can be cold, hard to fit (depending on a
guy’s size) and scary to the straight men. Silicone or other stretchy material
are amazing, it will fit most guys’ penises (unless they are teeny tiny or
& Eve Kayden Frosted Ice Silicone Cock Rings are amazing. Not only are they
silicone and super stretchy but they glow in the dark (woo hoo!). They are
reusable and definitely flipped my switch (AKA my clit or super joy button) in
the orgasm department. So, everybody is happy and that’s the key to sexual
gratification for everyone.
an important tip. If you’re guy who are new to cock rings, start out at five or
10 minutes. Once you become a pro, you’ll want to give your dick a rest after 20
minutes of use. And if you start using one of these, your woman might need a
break after 20 minutes are hardcore sex.
At a price tag of less than
$10, these are a great bargain and highly recommended. Way better than ponying
up a wad of cash for Viagra or Cialis—or worse yet, having your babe laugh at
you for being a 2 or 5- minute man. Seriously.
Sinner Takes All: A
Memoir of Love and Porn
By Tera Patrick with Carrie Borzilla (Gotham
A Review by Erika Icon
have to admit, before I read “Sinner Takes All” I wasn’t a fan of Tera
Patrick—she is an exotic beauty who seemed aloof, fake and too thin for tits
that big. Despite a lot of whining that goes on, I felt the book was genuine,
self-reflective and actually interesting. The weird thing was there were things
in Patrick’s life that paralleled mine (dating someone famous who doesn’t
appreciate you, depression, anxiety, etc.)—I never thought I would have anything
in common with this woman.
“Sinner Takes All” is a short book—just shy
of 300 pages and has tips on sex, marriage, how to sign a contract with a porn
studio and more. I also liked how Evan Seinfeld, her ex-husband, wrote sections
of the book as well.
I have to say that after reading the book
(which took me less than a day), I had much more respect for Tera Patrick. Tera
took herself from nothing to a major player in the industry and battled
depression, anxiety, drugs and alcohol. And regarding the break-up of her
marriage, I felt she wrote about it with class, dignity and grace—she could have
really slammed him (and changed the book), but she chose the truth, instead.
Plus, she seemed to show all the sides of him—good, bad and kind of ugly.
Of course the book has the “Cinderall Factor”
with her whirlwind romance with Seinfeld, how quickly they got married, all the
wonderful things he said to her and their multiple wedding ceremonies—this will
either make you want to gag or give you hope. I chose the latter.
“Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn”
is a good, easy read and a book you’ll want to take to bed with you.
Adam & Eve’s Wireless
A Review by Erika Icon
first off, this toy is pink—that is a very good thing in a toy, for me. I love
pink. And, it’s easy to find the toy in the bed or on the floor.
I’m so ready to pop the batteries in and give
it a whirl. But, it takes AAA batteries—who has those lying around the house?!
Not me. Toys should be AA, only. I had to trek to the store and forage for
batteries, before the fun could begin.
After running out to buy four batteries (and
the lady at the counter was trying to get me to buy more since they had a
two-for-one deal—if only she really knew what the batteries were for), I lay
down on the bed and was ready for some action. The toy is an odd shape (it looks
like a weird vice grip, Venus Flytrap plant or something), but it was soft and
pliable and I was able to maneuver it for the kind of “O” that one needs at the
end of the day.
The Wireless Personal Pleasurizer toy retails
for under $25 and is worth even more. It has a button to push for intensity
(high, medium and low), which is much better than twisting the bottom, like you
have to do with most vibrators. Seriously, this toy is going to potentially
replace my all-time favorite Doc Johnson Lucid Dreams Vibe—and I never thought I
would ever say that in a million years! Go get one! This toy gets10-plus stars.
Adam & Eve Anal
A Review by Erika Icon
& Eve’s Anal Pleaser is an amazing anal toy—why, because you can have insane
hands-free fun. I have to say this is my favorite anal toy on the market—I may
have to stock up and get multiples. The suction cup on the bottom allows you to
adhere it to a surface (like a table) and go to town. You don’t need a
partner—just lube it up (well) and play. Another great feature is the fact that
it’s graduated—the top is small (3/4 of an inch) and it gets bigger (for a
maximum of 1 ½ inches) towards the bottom. The soft jelly-like plastic makes it
flexible and extremely pleasurable—who invented those hard ass toys anyways? You
can make a game of using it and training your ass to be able to take the whole
thing. The whole toy measures about 4 inches, so that’s some nice deep anal play
for the anal professionals out there. If you and your man have been talking
about trying anal—this toy will take you from beginner to pro. It’s a great toy
to use solo or have a shared experience. But if you’re feeling really
adventurous, you can also hook it into a strap-on and use it on your guy (or
your girl). And, it’s under $15, so it’s really affordable. Wait are you waiting
for? Go get yours now!
Eve Wicked Ponytail
(Anal Plug with Rubber Flogger)
A Review by
Anal toys are
always fun and this one is no exception. First off, the aesthetics are great—a
black butt plug with a black and red whip. The plug itself is super soft and
just the right size for pleasure and great for the anal novice who wants to jump
into the world of anal (without a whole lot of pain). It’s also fun to walk
around with it and have the tail hanging out of your ass—plus, it’s also fun to
keep in while having sex and have your man pull it out later for a little extra
pleasure (and you might have even forgotten it was there if the sex is hot
enough). I didn’t try it in the bath yet, but it says it’s waterproof—and I’m
sure that could be exciting, too. However you choose to play with it, just don’t
forget the lube—anal lube is always best. The only letdown was the flogger. The
flogger is a good way to pull it out of your ass, but I don’t recommend using it
as a whip—it’s really short. You can, however, use it to tease a bit before it
gets used for anal action. For under $20, the Wicked Ponytail is a good buy.
And, it’s cute enough and makes a great gift for a bachelorette party. Invite me
and I might explain how to use it.
& Eve’s Cherry Glitter Dream Dildo
A Review by
First off, I
have to say that I love the red glittery color—it made me happy just looking at.
I couldn’t wait to use it. When I actually went to use it, I took it out of the
package (which had 2 hot girls in Catholic school dresses and one was licking a
lollipop to further get me excited) and was impressed with the quality—the jelly
dong material, flexibility, hole to hold it (firmly) and g-spotter feature.
Glitter Dream Dildo doesn’t just look good—it is a great toy. It’s a really good
size (not to big, just right). It feels really good, almost real. And the
g-spotter really is a nice touch and gives you that “extra bang” you’re looking
for. I did this little trick where I had the dildo inside of me, the clitoral
nub by my clit and then I turned the vibrator on—talk about a Big O!
aside, this did get me off, it’s an amazing toy. It’s also aesthically pleasing,
soft to the touch (and one it’s inside of you) and gets you the orgasm you
crave. It’s also just the right size—unless you date a porn star, this dildo is
probably a little bigger than your man, which is perfect. Too many dildos are
Godzilla-sized, but not this one. Thankfully. Also, at a price tag under $20,
it’s a great buy. Toys are really expensive and tend to not last. This dildo
seems to be well made and I hope it will go the distance and last and last,
despite the fact it’s going to get a lot of use.
& Eve Clitoral Kisser
A Review by
arrived in the mail, I had high hopes for this toy. Sadly, it let me down. First
of all, it was nearly impossible for me to put the batteries in correctly
(there’s no diagram inside to show you which direction the batteries go)—I had
to get one of my guy friends who is a McGyver protégé to get it going for me. I
even let him watch me use it—thanks, Todd. And it uses the dreaded AAA
batteries—fortunately, I had exactly 2 left.
down to business…at first the vibe felt good on my clit, but after 10-plus
minutes of working it, I was unable to get a good orgasm or the even the Big O.
With a clit toy, that should always be something that automatically happens. I
tried it on my bed, even though it says it’s waterproof—I can’t imagine it being
any better in the tub. And, I’m not willing to try it, since it did nothing for
me on land. (Insert pirate arrrgh here.)
don’t recommend this toy—if I were to give it a rating it would be one or two
stars out of a possible 10 (and that’s being generous). If you have hours to
monkey with this vibe, you might get an amazing orgasm. But who wants to wait
that long—it’s like being with a clueless virgin who can barely find your pussy
And with a $29.95 price tag, it’s really not worth it. Adam & Eve has a great
selection of g-spot and clit vibes on their site and with most of them you can’t
go wrong. I would say look there for something better.
Wands Treeze Wood Butt Plug
A Review by Erika Icon
A wooden butt plug — who would have thought it
could ever be a reality?! And without splinters in your ass — yes, it’s true! It
was an amazing shape and not too big or small (even though it’s considered
large), plus it’s quite shockingly comfortable.
The wood grain design is a treat to view and one
of my friends asked me if she could put it in her garden (well, that was before
I put it in my ass —not that she would ever know after a good wash). I truly
haven’t seen anything like this anywhere and was very impressed. If you’re
looking to train your ass for anal sex, this would be a good item to purchase.
It’s not always and easy feat and it’s a whole lot pleasurable with something
The price tag is a bit high, about $40. But the
quality and workmanship will give you quite a long time of pleasure, if you take
care of it, thoroughly clean it after each use, use silicone or water-based
lubes and store it in the handy padded pouch that comes with it. Enjoy!
Wands Treeze Wood Vibrator
A Review by
The idea of phthalates-free, eco friendly toys
hasn’t been toyed with all that much. So, it’s about time that a product like
this came around. A wood vibrator is a bit on the scary side, but this toy is
ultra smooth and splinter-free. And the design of it is amazing — beautiful
stained wood in multiple colors will make you want to display it as art rather
than use it. Then again, I felt the same way about my Hello Kitty vibe,
initially. And best of all, when the motor in the vibe goes, you can replace it
— that’s worth many stars in my book and less waste in our landfills (where many
dead sex toys go to die).
And, if all these things weren’t enough, the
Treeze wood vibe has got some awesome ridges in it, which will double your
pleasure many times over. And the Wet Lube included was a nice touch. When I was
done, I put it in the decadent padded pouch and neatly slipped it under my bed
for further adventures. Rarely am I blown over by a sex toy, but this is
definitely one of those times. The only downside to this toy is the price,
almost $80. But, if you think of how long it will last and not need to be
replaced, the price tag makes sense.
& Eve’s Cyberskin Dual Slider
A Review by
Most cock rings are only for the shaft, but this
one covers your dick and balls while giving your female a little rise of her
own. The design of the Cyberskin Dual Slider is a bit confusing, so it’s a
really good thing that there was a good-sized photo on the back of the package.
It claims to “please both partners equally” — I
disagree with that completely. Why, because it really didn’t do much for me.
And, it displeased my partner that he had to sit and connect the dots as to how
to get this bad boy on. The top bullet was for me and the bottom one was for his
balls — it’s a pretty lame vibration on both ends, not “toe curling” as the
package claims. Whoever writes the copy for these toys is a genius.
It’s also really annoying when you go to replace
the batteries — each of the vibes (there are two) require 3 watch batteries
each. I will say the packaging is nice, the look of the toy and color are quite
keen and it is easy to clean. Outside of that, it’s not really worth the almost
$30 price tag.
& Eve’s Bree Olson Kitten With A Whip
A Review by
I looked at the box and thought “aw, how cute,”
but this little kit is serious, naughty business. The whip is pretty fierce and
has a good, sharp snap when it’s used. I was thinking it was going to be quite
whimpy. Plus, the strap makes it easier to hold and control. Of course, operator
skill is important, too. The blindfold is very comfortable, satin-lined and has
two straps which keep it on your face during the action (and also is good for
sleeping). Plus, the aesthetic of both items is quite nice — purple brocade is
This would definitely be termed a “beginner’s
BDSM set”. If this is you and you’d like to experiment with a little spanking
and domination, this is a good starting place.. If you want to be involved in
this lifestyle, you’ll want to add paddles, a real cat ‘o nine tails and other
devices, at some point.
Bondage purists will laugh at this kit, but
vanilla couples will be totally into it, especially with a price point of under
$25. I’m sure this will fly off the physical and preverbal Internet shelves —
A Review by Erika Icon
When this toy came in the mail, I was all what
the fuck? Being the Queen on BJ (yes, I have a crown), my first thought was what
was the need. If you’re not good at oral, it’s not going to help you. But if you
are looking for something a little extra, this puppy could be just the ticket
you’re looking for. It’s under $30, so you if you don’t like it, you won’t be
blowing a mint to purchase it.
The blowguard can be used on a man or woman one
on one or in a 69 position—I know this because I checked out their site with the
very informative x-rated video. I tried it with a pretty famous director and he
wasn’t impressed — I thought it was OK. Maybe, we’re spoiled and are used to
mind-blowing oral. It also feels awkward in your mouth, since it doesn’t exactly
mold to your teeth/gums. It was invented by a dentist, so the retainer and mini
bullet won’t crack your teeth (this was a huge concern with me). The clean-up is
easy — wash it with soap and water like any other toy.
Despite all the hype, I wasn’t impressed and
doubt it will be a permanent part of my sexual repertoire. It doesn’t live up to
the tagline of “taking the job out of blowjobs”.
Anal Sex Position Guide: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing
A Review by Troy Michael
Award winning author,
columnist, editor, and sex educator, Tristan Taormino has recently released her
fourth book “The Anal Sex Position Guide: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting,
and Mind-Blowing Pleasure.” The first thing you will notice about this book is
how colorful and well laid out it is with its text and beautiful artistic
Once you delve into this book
about anal sex, which was once a hush hush topic, and for some it still is, it
is a fun and informative read. The book is broken down into several
chapters/positions, including anal sex for men, and features a pro and con list
for said positions. Not only does Taormino break everything down for you, she
writes in the perfect style to make a person feel comfortable, which makes the
book not only beneficial to people who are entertaining the anal sex idea, but
to the ones who are active in anal sex already.
There is a plenty of
educational information here but Taormino doesn’t make it intimidating or
embarrassing, two topics which rise to the surface when people speak about anal
With more celebrities coming
out saying they like anal sex like Anne Hathaway and Denise Richards to name a
few, the sex act is becoming more accepted, which makes “The Anal Sex Position
Guide: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure” a perfect
tutorial for all those ready to take the leap or want to learn about the sexual
practice of safe anal sex.
Up: A Guide to Creating & Sustaining Open Relationships
A Review by Erika Icon
When I received this book in
the mail, I had to roll my eyes. Although I work in the industry and am very
open-minded and highly sexually charged, I’m not into open relationships. Little
did I know I had participated in that lifestyle in the past — dating and
sleeping with multiple people and not wanting to be serious counts as an open
Wow, was that a slap in the
face. Outside of that, this was definitely not my lifestyle, but I have a huge
respect for Tristan Taormino, so I was willing to hear what she had to say on
the topic. Taormino herself has been in an open relationship for the last seven
years, so I guess that makes her a bit of an expert. That, and the fact that she
interviewed a plethora of people and gave them surveys to complete.
The best part about “Opening
Up” is Taormino looks at everything from all angles. She begins by telling you
reasons not to be involved in this type of lifestyle with chapter three
addressing if an open relationship is for you or not. She asks you why you want
it and reasons you shouldn’t enter into one. She even spells out the hidden
motives. Additionally she covers the different types of relationships including
swinging (going with your partner to social events and having sex with other
women and/or couples), polyamory (having a primary partner, but having relations
with others), solo polyamory (the category I fell under), polyfidelity (multiple
members living together) and having a relationship where one partner is
monogamous and the other is non-monogamous. And if you decide you want to live
this lifestyle, she discusses the pitfalls (jealousy, possessiveness,
resentment), safe sex, when things change and designing your relationship
(rules, contracts, frequency, geography, etc.).
By the time you finish
“Opening Up,” you will know if this is something you want to try this lifestyle.
It’s not for the weak at heart or those of us who have been conditioned to
believe monogamous relationships are the norm. Personally, I had a long term
relationship with a man and we had encounters with more than a few women—this
led him to believe it was OK to cheat. Yes, we should have had more boundaries.
But, trying to be with more than one person at a time when you’re in a serious
relationship is asking for trouble. I think I’ll prefer to believe in
Tinkerbelle and that monogamy with one man can be my future. It’s definitely
worth the read — you will learn something about relationships and how to make
& Eve’s Sexy Shooter Dildo
Review by Erika Icon
you a cum fanatic? If you are, you will love this toy. I had to laugh
when it arrived in the mail. Most girls want nothing to do with a guy’s
jizz, even the porn chicks. Adam & Eve’s Sexy Shooter is a great
dildo—it’s the perfect size of 6 inches (as in not a Godzilla dong, like
so many other dildos) and it’s jelly-like soft (but still hard enough)
and stretchy. As a dildo, it’s the tops and lives up to “realistic penis
head with a ribbed shaft for extra sensation.” I filled it up with water
and I don’t think it “squirted at just the right moment” like the box
says. Otherwise, it would have cum when I did.
have to manually squeeze the bulb at the bottom—it doesn’t do this
action on its own volition. And, when I’m orgasming big time, I don’t
want to have to think about anything else. Know what I mean? You can
fill it up with lube, like the informative box suggests, but that could
be quite messy. The cleanup of this toy is also a hassle—you not only
have to clean the outside, but the inside (shaft and all). Plus, it has
to dry in separate pieces.
think this toy would be a good gift for a bachelorette party—it’s more
of a gag gift than anything else, maybe, because it has that “novelty”
thing about it. And, it will definitely get a snicker or two from other
party goers—well, the women who aren’t frigid and pent up, but the look
of horror on their faces will be fun, too. Plus, it’s under $30, so it’s
not expensive. I think this might be a hit with gay guys, too. But, I’ll
have to do some research on that one…
Review by Troy
You’ve seen it endorsed by “The Flesh Light Girls” aka porn performers,
and the toy was even referenced in the major motion picture Zack and
Miri Make a Porno. It’s no wonder that the Flesh Light is the top
selling sex toy with over two million sold. I don’t know if I would call
the male masturbator revolutionary, but it is cool and serves its
purpose. With the option to build your own, there are over 100
coronations to suit your tastes of getting off.
we got the discreet box from the Flesh Light gang, it contained the
Pearl Case with the original vagina sleeve. On the website, it is
described “Our best selling masturbation sleeve and a must have for
first-time buyers, the Original offers a smooth, slightly wider canal
that won't send you over the edge too soon.” The 10” long, ¾” canal
diameter is soft and durable, but I was really surprised how heavy and
bulky it was, even out of the plastic case. The first time I used it I
was like “this is it?” I didn’t know what all the hype was about.
However after a couple more times it got better each time.
Flesh Light is a personal sex toy and the ability to change the sleeves
is a really ingenious idea, but I don’t know if warrants all the hype it
is getting. Don’t get me wrong, it feels good, it gets you off, but I
couldn’t be like some of the guys on the Flesh Light website using it
multiple times a day or week and professing their undying love for it.
& Eve Pink Lips Pussy Stroker
Review by Troy
finally get a toy for the fella’s from Adam & Eve with their latest
Cyberskin treat called Pink Lips Pussy Stroker. When we first got the
package it sparked my interest and at first glance I thought there was
no way my cock would fit in the tiny little pin hole just past the
initial pink pussy.
Cyberskin is very soft and easy to handle unless you get lube on the
outside and you are trying to grip it. Trust me. You will need the lube
to fit your hard dick past the pussy lips. Once you do, it has a soft
sensation tight enough to grip your cock with every pump. The
hypoallergenic and latex-free Cyberskin measures in at seven inches, so
if you are an average sized male you are good to go, but it seems
smaller to me. There is also a small hole at the back end, which if you
a big cummer, it will overflow or fly out the back. Obviously, if you
are well hung, you will need a little more room (see Flesh Light review
above), but for the most part the soft ribbed walls milk your cock
cleanup is simple and easy, thanks to both open ends and at just under
30 bucks it is a good deal to get you off.
Glitter Glam Strap-On Harness & Dong
A Review by Erika Icon
OK, I’ll admit it—when I got this in
the mail, I did a little dance. I have ALWAYS wanted to try a strap on
and compare it to a “real” dick. This set is really nice—the dong is
sparkly with glitter and it’s a jelly dong. It’s soft but firm and
really gets the job done (but, more about that later). I was a little
weirded out by the purple color of both the harness and dong, but I got
over that pretty quickly (just had to get rid of the Miss Piggy visions,
who was a big lover of purple). The harness goes from really small to
big, which is great for the BBW crowd and the anorexic model types.
I’m sure you want to know how I
tested it. After placing an ad for a couple on a site owned by a man
named Craig, this very hot couple showed up on my doorstep. Of course,
there were drinks and then onto the bedroom. She rode me pretty hard
with it and I was impressed with her beginner skills (it was the first
time for both of us, using a strap-on). Her boyfriend watched and then
got into the action. This is one of the best toys I have ever used and
you should definitely run right out and get one. With a $39.95 price
tag, it’s a steal. And if sex with a woman scares you, try using it on
your boyfriend’s ass. According to Details magazine, a good
percentage of men will admit to liking women play with their ass. Of
course, they would never admit this to us women in person. Try
experimenting either way—you will be glad you did! It might even replace
having a man for you. Kidding.
Adam & Eve’s
Essentials Toy Cleaner
A Review by Erika Icon
I’m very naughty and I will admit
it—I’m talking about cleaning my toys. It’s a simple fact that you
should be using something to clean you toys so you don’t get bacteria
and/or an infection from using and/or sharing your toys with others.
Like most of the population, I’m lazy and will use a toy sometimes 2 and
3 times before cleaning it. I know, ewwww. But, A&E’s Essentials Toy
Cleaner is a no-brainer. Spray the toy and wipe it down with a towel.
It’s almost too easy. And, you can use it on any kind of toy—rubber,
glass, plastic, etc.
What I liked was it’s not oily and
the smell is pretty non-existent (no florals or alcohol here). It’s a
decent size and almost stealthy (like you could put it in your medicine
cabinet or on your nightstand and no one would be any wiser). Also,
using this is way better than putting your toys in the sink and washing
them—not just for the lazy factor, but too much water can actually
destroy your toys. Really. For $6.95, there are many reasons (re-read
above, because there will be a quiz) as to why you should buy this
Adam & Eve’s Prostate Massager
A Review by Erika Icon
Men are very resistant to toys, even if
they’re going to get them off. I asked a few of my male friends to try
this and report back—and, I’ve never seen a man bolt away from me so
quickly. Luckily Mr. H (he wants to remain anonymous), took a gamble on
this vibrating toy. As I handed it to him, we both marveled at how much
it looked like a regular old vibrator. And, it could probably double as
that, if you and your girl wanted to share this toy. Make sure you wash
it off, first, before exchange it back and forth.
Mr. H reported back that it was an
excellent vibe and ride—he enjoyed the varying speeds but wasn’t into
the nylon cords that just kept getting in the way. He used it in the
perineum area between the balls and ass, choosing not to put it in his
ass—either use will work, but getting a man to put anything up his ass
is as effective as asking him to take out the trash. Well, it’s true.
Mr. H said he would use it again in the future, but it would never
replace women in his life. Yes, sex is his only vice.
The Prostate Massager usually sells for
$14.95, but Adam & Eve has a deal for $9.95 right now. If you want to
get one for your man, I would suggest the element of surprise. Tell him
to close his eyes, whip it out and use it in the perineum area. Once he
gets a load of the mind-blowing orgasm, maybe you can negotiate ass use.
Adam & Eve’s
Inflatable Position Master
A Review by Erika Icon
You can get pretty creative with this
toy. One of my fuck buddies and I used the Inflatable Position Master
and he bound my hands when we used it. He used the handles on the edges
to attach the restraints to. I also put on the free black mask that came
with it. It’s very soft and you’d never know it was inflatable to start
with (not like those cheesy beds that hurt your back). When we switched
and I got on top, he put it behind his back. Although we were on the
bed, it has a whole other comfort level.
There a like a million positions you
can do with this toy and several of them are actually pictured on the
box. It would be nice if the guy and girl on the box came with it—but, I
digress…this toy is worth the $29.95 price tag, but Adam & Eve are
selling it for $24.95 these days. You can deflate it and take it with
you on trips (and it’s discreet) or keep it lying around the house or
under the bed. Go figure, a practical and useful toy! Go get one. Now!
Adam & Eve’s Bree
Olson Rawhide Hottie Doll
A Review by Erika Icon
Blow-up dolls can be one man’s fantasy while at the same time being the
butt of a comedian’s jokes. I have always wanted one, but of course,
they’re for men. Imagine my surprise when the Bree Olson Rawhide Hottie
Doll appeared in my mailbox.
want to let you know this is one of the best representations of a porn
star in doll form—she has a face that looks just like Miss Olson (it’s
some keen graphics here). It’s not exact, but if you squint or slightly
close your eyes, you will really believe you are fucking Bree. She also
has what is labeled on the box as “extra hard life-like hard nipples—I’d
have to agree with this one, as I got a handful of one of her breasts
and became a little excited. And the accessories…this doll comes with a
removable halter top, skirt and cowgirl hat—you can actually undress
your hottie and have your way with her.
the actual fuckability of the doll, I gave her to my friend, Pirate
Pete. After a little 3-hole action, he informed me that her holes are
indeed tight, but are catered for a penis no larger than 2 inches (not
being able to get your dick all the way in is a common problem in love
dolls). He can now tell his friends that he has straddled Bree Olson’s
pussy with a straight face. And, he’s fallen madly in love with her and
drives around in his classic Mercedes with her in the passenger seat and
brought her to a party as his date (all the guys were jealous).
a $39.95 price tag, you’ll want to pick the Bree Olson Rawhide Hottie
Doll for yourself or bring it to the next bachelor party you attend.
It’s the must-have toy for men. But, don’t forget the lube—you’ll need
it! Doll also comes with a patch repair kit (include you spring a leak)
and detailed instructions on its use and cleaning. Get yours today.
Adam & Eve’s
Temptations Couples’ Thong
A Review by Erika Icon
the last 10 years, the thong has come to symbolize smoldering sexuality
for women. Adam & Eve have taken the thing to new heights with their
unique faux leather/pleather Temptations Couples’ Thong.
thong is adjustable but it only will fit a woman who is about a size
large. Sadly, I’m a smallish BBW, so it wasn’t very comfortable for me
to wear. But, the pleasure of the double set of beads on my labia and
rubbing against my man’s shaft made me forget all about the physical
comfort level. The double beads are amazing and replace the crotch area
with a new level of fun. It’s well constructed and should give you both
many hours of pleasure, so you can cum and cum again. It was an easy
clean-up and ready for reuse, which is always a plus in any sex
you are a guy, this is a toy you should pick up not only for your girl,
but for you, too. Yes, there are toys that can provide pleasure for you
both—not to mention it will look pretty hot on your woman. And at a
$14.95 price, it won’t break the bank. Right now Adam & Eve are
featuring it on their website for $9.95—saving you $5 you can use
towards lube (which you will need for this item).
Adam & Eve’s Do Me
Review by Erika Icon
Sometimes waterproof toys are a waste of time—they’re toys you would
only use in the bedroom and never in the tub. But with Do Me Ducky, this
is definitely not the case. I have always wanted one of these ducks and
liked the varying speeds and the flexibility/rubbery quality of the duck
itself. There weren’t any instructions (not that I needed them), so I
assumed it was a case of sticking the duck’s head in me (or the whole
duck)—I went for the head. It took me awhile to get off, but I got
there. I always go for the quick “O” but I think this is supposed to be
a toy that you relax with while chilling in the tub. So, no fowl there.
course, there were a few issues with the duck. First off, it uses 3 AAA
batteries, which is odd—most toys use AA’s. So, I had to go out and buy
some batteries before using my new little friend. Secondly, it says it’s
“adorably discreet” on the package—that might have been the case if it
was yellow (not purple) and didn’t have the battery cover coming out
it’s duck ass. If I saw the thing in someone else’s tub, I would know
the deal—the cover lets you know it’s turbo charged. And lastly, the
little guy smells rubbery and it takes awhile to get rid of the scent,
because even after you air it out, it lingers.
toy is cute, a great gift and a stellar deal at a retail price of
$19.95. If you choose to give to the girls you love this holiday season,
it will give stuffing a stocking a whole new meaning. Get yours today at
adameve.com and happy ducking!
& Eve’s My Clitoral Hummer
A Review by Erika Icon
I loved this
toy! I popped the 2 double “A” batteries in and was really to rock and
roll. Not only is it red and velvety-soft, but it’s lightweight and
really hit the spot (literally). I was able to quickly hit my spot and
have an amazing orgasm (and I even squirted). And, you can’t say that
about too many toys on the market. The range of speeds was nice, as
well—it’s very powerful, so you won’t need to turn it up all the way. I
tried it in the bed and in the tub and liked it in bed best (like most
things). This is the type of toy that I would use on a daily basis and
with a price point under $30, it’s worth every penny. I highly recommend
this if you like G-Spot toys and the rise they can give you.
& Eve’s White Rabbit
Review by Erika Icon
My big complaint about rabbits is that
they are too big. Are toy manufacturers making toys for Godzilla?! I
mean really. This toy is just the right size and it wasn’t too hard.
When I used it, it felt like a guy’s dick was in me and he was using his
fingers to play with my clit. Imagine a toy that actually simulates sex
and successfully?! I got a very nice orgasm, as well. It wasn’t
instantaneous, but working your way up to the “Big O” is a nice treat
and half the fun is getting there. The speeds were also nice—I liked
moving up and down the dial to tease myself. This toy is made really
well and should definitely last. I really hope it will—it’s going to the
top of my toy box. Really. Oh, one last thing…the aesthetic of the toy
is also very pleasing—the iridescent white color and style of the toy
definitely stands out.
Helping Hand Vibe
G Spot Vibrator
A Review by Erika Icon
When I first saw the Helping Hand
Vibe G Spot Vibrator it kind of freaked me out. It reminds me of the old
metal hook hand prosthetics or some sort of torture device out the Saw
movies. All of that aside, this
blue jelly vibe does have a sense of sexual purpose with its two fingers
on this unique vibe. The two jelly fingers are designed to slide inside
the pussy to hit the G-spot. And with the multi-speed vibrator it brings
a little extra added stimulation to the fold. While two-fingers deep on
the G-spot the jelly toy has a “nubbed thumb” to use on the clit to add
even more pleasure. The six-inch fingered toy requires two double0A
batteries for the vibe and is very easy to maintain and keep clean. For
$19.95, this very unique toy has a wide variety of uses if you put your
imagination to use and it also does the trick for its intent.
A Review by Erika Icon
This bendable three-way dildo comes
to us from Adam & Eve. The colorful green multipurpose toy has a curved
shape for the ladies and their beloved G-spot, which hit the spot just
right. There is also a knobby “clit brusher” to stimulate the clit while
working the toy vaginally. Finally the handle can be turned around and
used as a ribbed anal teaser for those who like a little more to their
pleasure in the bedroom. If you are really inventive and turned on I am
sure you can find many more uses for this toy to get you off.
For $29.95, Adam & Eve
deliver with this little green monster to give the user plenty of anal
and pussy pleasure. The cyberskin material covers a bendable spine which
locks the toy into play for just about any position you want to use it
in. You might be surprised by the weight of this 10-inch long and nearly
two-inch around toy that is hypo-allergenic and latex-free.
At first glance at this fingertip
massager from Adam & Eve it looks like one of those heart rate monitors
they put on your finger at the hospital. And in all actuality, maybe
that’s where they got this idea for this little power packed device.
The Adam & Eve Fingertip
Massager is originally $19.95, but with their summer sale it is now
$17.95 and well worth the purchase. The powerful vibrating finger device
has an adjustable strap to fit any type of finger and has five different
attachments for several different sensations.
The toy takes two watch
batteries and has the power of a pocket rocket if not better. My only
complaint about the finger tip massager is it isn’t flexible. It is more
like a finger splint when you have it on. That aside, the possibilities
are endless and if you have five of these Adam & Eve Fingertip Massager
(one on each finger), that would make for some serious overload pleasure
for you and your partner.
Twin Mini Bullets
These Twin Mini Bullets run $24.95
and are an Adam & Eve exclusive. The small waterproof packs quite the
power for just two inches long. They work really well for extra added
internal and external stimulation for her with a handy controller for
solo or couple play. The nice thing about this vibrating pocket pleasure
device is that the bullets and controller are covered in soft, velvety
waterproof skin with a 30-inch cord. At first the Twin Mini Bullets come
off great, but over prolonged use they seem to lose their luster in
pleasure and power.
Review by Erika Icon
the tagline “Flowers Are a Clit’s Best Friend,” Adam & Eve offers up
this very unique adult toy they have dubbed Temptations Passion Lilly.
The tip of the red jelly toy is made to resemble a water lily complete
with petals and a center pistolette. The seven-inch vibe is designed to
tickle and tease while you select from three speeds on the one-touch
button. I was really surprised by how squishy the jelly material was for
this toy when I took it out of the box. I don’t see this being a toy to
get the girls off with its unique and somewhat weird shape, but to tease
the clit might work better for the users. If you are curious, this might
be a new toy for your collection but if you are looking for something to
do the job quick and easy, look elsewhere. The 7-inch long and 1 ½-inch
wide waterproof toy takes two AA batteries and is priced at $29.95. You
can find the toy at the Adam & Eve online store.
& Eve's Ultimate Anal Lube
Eve says on their website that they have sold over 20,000 bottles of
their Ultimate Anal Lube and that is pretty impressive if you think of
that in gallons of lube. The anal lover’s favorite product is thick to
add long lasting anal sex and it is also safe to use with most condoms
and other sex toys. If you are thinking about doing anal sex or are an
anal novice Adam & Eve's Ultimate Anal Lube is perfect to ease your
worries when you ease cocks and toys in your ass. The lube is slippery
and thin based so when you use it, you will not have to apply very much,
so be careful if you are a first time user. A little goes along way,
that’s how well it works. Everyone’s body, including their ass is
different. This might not be for you, but for the majority Adam & Eve’s
Ultimate Anal Lube does the trick. And at $12.95 for four ounces that
goes the extra mile, you really can’t help but give it a try. You can
find the toy at the Adam & Eve online store.
Slim Pink Pleaser
small time vibe from Adam & Eve is called the Eve’s Slim Pink Pleasure.
It is perfect for those who are buying their first vibrating sex toy or
for those looking for a little extra pleasure in the tight spots. The
slim 7-inch pink vibrator is 1-inch in diameter and is waterproof for
those who enjoy doing more than getting clean in the shower or bathtub.
With its small size, soft feel and nice vibrating speed, the Slim Pink
Pleasure is good for at home action or for those who are on the go, or
should I say, stuck in rush hour traffic. The vibe had a little trouble
of breaking easily when it first came out but Adam & Eve has seemed to
rectify that problem. Eve's Slim Pink Pleaser is made of jelly material,
takes two AA batteries and costs cost $19.95. You can find the toy at
the Adam & Eve online store.
Delight Glass Dildo
glass sex toy is one of the most unique you will find at Adam & Eve.
With its characteristic Heart-Shaped Handle it gives the user nice
control when you are looking to hit that special spot. The rounded tip
is great to get that G-Spot or prostate of your lover. The glass toy is
very slick when adding lube and also can be heated up or frozen,
depending on your pleasures. The toy is hand made from blown glass, and
sizes up at 7-inches from tip to the heart tip and is 1-inch around.
With its hard and smooth exterior, customers have raved about hitting
the perfect spot to make them gush and squirt their fluids. The handle
can also be used for clitoral stimulation. The Heart’s Delight Glass
Dildo costs $34.95 and you can find the toy at the Adam & Eve online
Of Love Anal Dildo
the popularity of the Pirates of the Caribbean series and the adult film
Pirates and soon to be the sequel, Adam & Eve has marked the occasion
with an anal dildo sword for all the land lovers. Cutely titled, the
Sword of Love, this flesh-colored adult toy is made from of soft but
firm SensaFirm material that gets super-slick when lubricated. The toy,
which measures in at 7-inches long has a couple of different uses with
its cock inspired shaft for anal use to hit the prostrate or G-spot to
make your timbers shiver. The handle can also be put in to action with
its ribbed grip handle to give you extra pleasure. The Sword Of Love
Anal Dildo costs $34.95 and you can find the toy at the Adam & Eve