MAN LOSES PENIS TO A RACCOON WHILE TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH IT

A Moscow man, who was trying to molest a raccoon, got his penis bitten off by the non-consenting mammal.

In an allegedly drunken episode, Alexander Kirilov, 44, attempted to force sex on a raccoon he happened upon.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” Kirilov explained to the doctors who were given the job of trying to reattached his severed manhood.

“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off,” is what a friend of Kirilov’s told reporters. “That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with.”